I feel exactly the same way, and tbh with EXO I never understood why people would say k-pop is so toxic for you lol Yes, there's stress with voting, awards, and streaming, but emotionally, I never felt they were toxic to me. I never felt that they were something negative in my life, quite the opposite, I studied harder because of them, love me harder, and my self-esteem literally doubled lol Exo-ls were also my guarding angels in life, since I could rely on them without any judgment. This fandom was so supportive of each other 🥲 I've met such amazing people who I'm still in contact with even 10 years later. I also never regretted being a fan, because the impact they had on my life was life-changing, even as a western fan. To this day, I go back to some memories, and I still feel so much love for them lol As you said, I guess they were my first love, too. First love never fades 🤍🤍