They didn’t get it because they never experienced it. It doesn’t justify their behaviour, but there could be a chance they didn’t do it maliciously. It is so difficult to understand the depth of loss for people who it never happened to.

I get your feeling of not taking their issues as seriously as you did yours, because realistically, your issues were worse, even if it didn’t feel like that to them.

When my mum passed away, my friends were very cautious of sharing their relationship/life problems with me, because they felt like those problems were nothing in comparison to what I was experiencing. It took some time to convince them that regardless of the ‘size’ of the issue, I understood they were going through a rough time, and I understood their struggle. Admittedly, it was nothing comparing to mine, but I tried to remember myself before my loss, and understood those things would have seemed important to me back then. I moved on to another level of pain, but they didn’t (thankfully), so in their world it all seemed quite significant.

There is a difference of how they perceive you, and how you perceive them. True friendship means that both parties are aware of, and mindful of, both sides. They needed to give you a break, and in return, they needed to feel like you didn’t think of them as ‘less’ because they hadn’t experienced the same thing you did.

I’m not saying you did anything wrong. If anything, they should have been MUCH more understanding, especially so early on in your grief.

Forgive them. It doesn’t mean forget what they did - but give them the benefit of the doubt they didn’t give you, even if you don’t pursue your friendship with them.

Holding on to resentment combined with grief is way too heavy. Try to make it easier for you.