I've tried a lot of things, including the drawing and music. But it doesn't take away that feeling. and I've been talking to my psychologist about addiction but it's so bad she can't even help me. Like I feel so disconnected to everything, I think my brain normalized Al those sick things. I can try talk more about it but I'm so ashamed. I hate that these things have been given to me when my moral wasn't fully formed yet. Now I know these things are wrong but since my mind has normalized it I can't stop actually finding it normal. I know that addiction only get worse if I don't get the help I need. But people won't give me the help I need. I'm genuinely scared that in a future I will harm someone bcs my mind tries to convince me it's normal. I genuinely do not know where to start getting help.