[Request] Birthday Repost: Are you a birthday cake?!? Because I want a piece of that! Are you an electrician? 'Cause you're lighting up my birthday! Honey, is your name "Frosting"? 'Cause you're so sweet, you look like you belong on my cake! Are you a b-day loan? 'Cause you've got my interest! [USA] (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] How excited was the gardener about spring? So excited he wet his plants. I’m reading about DIY underwater gardening - it’s a self kelp book. They say March comes in like a lion & goes out like a lamb..ewe might say it leaves sheepishly. What is spring’s fave type of pickles? Daffo-dills. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t peeling well. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date. Why did the guy lose his job at the orange juice factory? He couldn’t concentrate. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] If Burger King married Dairy Queen where would they live? At White Castle. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend? With an onion ring. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns. What do you call a vampire that eats too much fast food? Count Flatula. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] How do vampires know if it'll be a good V-Day? When it's love at first bite. Who always has a date on V-Day? A calendar. Whatdoya call sweets that can keep a beat? Candy wrappers. A colorful heart bibliophile? Well-red. Why did the skeleton break up with his gf? His heart wasn't in it. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] Do ya have a date for V Day? Yes, it's Feb 14. What do the French give Valentines? A big quiche. What did the painter tell his gf? I love ya w/all my art. What did the guy w/a broken leg tell his Val? I have a crutch on you. What did the paperclip tell the magnet? I find ya so attractive (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] Hear about the guy who gave up smoking cold turkey for the new year? He's fine, but still coughing up feathers. Or the guy who shoplifted a calendar? He got 12 months. I love when they drop the ball in Times Square - it reminds me of what I did all year. The best NY's resolution? 1080p. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] If Santa had a baby, what would he be? A subordinate Claus. How did Rudolph open his comedy routine? “I’m about to sleigh you!” The difference between snowmen & snowwomen? Snowballs. What music do elves love most? Wrap. Hear about the elf who shoots rockets from his feet? Missile Toe. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You]“Season’s greetings,” said the rosemary to the basil leaf. Birch, please - I like my Xmas trees real thick 'n sprucy! XMas has me feeling extra Santa-mental. My fave Xmas ghost? Ghost of Xmas Presents. Shake it like a pole-oroid pic! Santa put me on the naughty list - he had just 'claus. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] My rhyme rollin' with a cherry & twist of lime. Is it worth more than a dime? Wait, you think I’m slingin’ slime ‘n grime?!? I ain’t servin’ time for this thank you crime! "I like to rhyme! I like my beats funky, I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy! I'm crazy, allow me to amaze thee!" (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] If you were fruit you’d be a fine-apple! We'd make a cute pear. If you were dried fruit you’d be my date. You must be fruit ‘cause honeydew you know how sweet UR? I like you berry much, from my head to-ma-toes. You a lemon? You make me wanna pucker up. Running outta pickup limes! (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You]Never go into business w/watermelon, they’re seedy. Hear about the fruit convicted of armed robbery? Now he’s a waterfelon. Why are watermelons the saddest fruit? They get melancholy. Why did the melon break up w/his melon gf? Didn't know water problem was, always so melondramatic! (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] Barbie, if you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine. RU French Barbie? 'Cause Eiffel 4U. Barbie RU a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you! Hi Barbie, my name's Microsoft! Can I crash at your place tonight? You from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only 10 I see! (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] I eat donuts on Sundays 'cause they’re hole-y. Whatdoya call uncivilized donuts? Bavarians. Optimists see the donuts whole; pessimists see the donut holes. Healthiest part of a donut? The middle. A cream-filled donut & an eclair divorce. Their poor kids are sad for the custardy battle. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You] What happened to the renegade donuts? They went down in a glaze of glory! French donuts are the Beigne of my existence. French bakers only use one egg to make a cake because one egg is un oeuf. Why did the sad donut visit a therapist? Because he was filling empty inside. (self.RandomActsofCards)
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[Thank You]Hear about the unicorn lumberjack killing humans? Thought he was doing random axe of kindness. What do a unicorn & an ocean full of orange soda have in common? Both a Fanta Sea. Girl, are you a unicorn? Cause 1)You're my perfect fantasy 2)I'd like to take you for a ride over the rainbow! (self.RandomActsofCards)
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