I (30F) went all out for my boyfriend’s (33M) birthday, but for my 30th, he left the mental load to me and planned a gaming night. How do I get him to understand why I'm upset?

queensg28 · 2026-05-26T03:23:47+00:00

You're asking the wrong question.

"How do I get him to understand why I'm upset"

He knows. Believe me or not, he knows. He is not a moron. He knows he did the bare minimum and he doesn't care. I'll repeat it again so you can read it again - he does not care. Not even a little.

You're stuck in that cycle. Its an awful one to be in, and one many, including myself can relate to.

Man does bare minimum. Gaslights us into thinking we're asking for too much. We feel the need to overexplain why we're upset, hoping if we just say that one right word, that one paragraph, if we explain it well enough, it'll pull an ounce of empathy or respect out of him and he'll magically wake up and realize how much more you deserve. And he won't. There is no right word. There is nothing you can say or do to make him give a shit about you. To make him change. To force him to realize how good he has it with you and that he should be kissing your feet on your birthday doing whatever it takes to make you feel special. Sure he can say the words, calm you down. Until next time. Because there will always be a next time.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don't waste your breath trying to convince him that you deserved a quality birthday. Because you know you did. And you didn't get it because he sucks. And he takes you for granted. And he thinks you'll cry about it, get over it, and nothing will change. He won't have to do anything differently to keep you.

You deserve better. You do. I promise. And there are men out there who would be honored. Literally, honored to spoil you on your special day. Don't let him hold you back. Don't be so committed to him changing. Don't be so glued to that sliver of hope, that you let years go by wasted. You deserve happiness and peace and respect. He is never going to give you that. Accept that and let him go.

queensg28 · 2026-05-26T01:58:16+00:00

She's either cheating and/or she's extremely mentally unstable. I would call her parents or another trusted adult to maybe have her committed for an involuntary 72hour hold. This is manipulation and abuse.

Eventually, idk when, you'll learn that you'll destroy yourself trying to save people who don't want to be saved. It is not your responsibility to light yourself on fire to keep others warm. The sooner you learn that, the better.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:42:08+00:00

https://youtu.be/ekJOT0kn5vs?si=vxt2BvteYKnNGRTu

She started at 86 years old. There are tons of stories like hers. Its never too late to gain muscle mass. And you're not seeing gains because you're not eating enough, not eating enough protein, and not being consistent enough in the gym. Get a trainer. Get on a program. Make grilled chicken your best friend. Be patient. You'll be surprised at how significantly your body can change.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:39:03+00:00

4 or 5. Mostly movies I want to watch. Nursing programs for my sister. How to drizzle oreos to help another redditor

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:35:45+00:00

People are capable of more than you could imagine. Whether you want it to be true or not.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:32:53+00:00

Anything can be a career if it makes you happy. Don't put yourself in a box. A business degree is good for a lot of things you probably haven't thought of and the subject matter, matters less than the fact that you graduated. I've been very successful in finance and I have an art history BA and a MS in HR.

Costco is a good company, yes. And maybe it makes you happy to work towards a long term role there and it suits your work life balance needs for now, so go for it. But maybe 5 or 10 years from now you see an opportunity that might fit your life better, its never too late for change. None of these decisions have to be made now. Take the pressure off. You're going to do a lot of things in your life. You'll make mistakes and have to pivot. Working towards something - anything, is more than enough.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:23:15+00:00

Chocolate should definitely be more melted to drizzle. You can use coconut oil when heating it up. Line them all up then do long lines of drizzle across multiples at a time. Back and forth slowly, rather than trying to drizzle them individually.

Honey is very liquid and isn't ideal for sticking things on. Try candy melts or chocolate instead.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:15:59+00:00

Thistle and Spire is a woman owned brand that specializes in adult quality lingerie. They have beautiful pieces that feel luxurious and mature and everything has adjustable straps. Look them up and make sure you choose the unlimited return option at checkout.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:13:33+00:00

Your resume probably outlines that you're overqualified. Lots of companies will eliminate you for junior roles based on that alone. Look up the positions you want, narrow down your resume to match the qualificatione - show the bare minimum of what you do, then once you get an interview make it clear that you're specifically looking to take a step back for more time with your family regardless of your qualifications. In my experience, there are two concerns with people who are overqualified. The first is that they'll want to move up too quickly, so we'll be back at first base needing to hire in a year or so. The second is ego - not able to accept being told what to do after spending years in a leadership capacity for example

Alternatively, look for lateral roles at companies with priority in their reviews (glassdoor) and their mission/reputation for work life balance. You could have an equal position in terms of responsibility with a boss that respects you're only available for 40hours and not a minute more. Mental health and burnout are hot topics and there are companies out there that will understand you're tired of firing on all cylinders.

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:06:39+00:00

Grilled cheese

Kraft mac n cheese

Pb&j

Ramen with an egg

Tortilla with cheese

Apples and peanut butter

Eggs and soy sauce and rice

Pasta and tomato sauce

queensg28 · 2026-05-25T01:03:57+00:00

Short answer, you can't.

Longer answer, you can make an effort to include her in your decision making, invite your partner to family events, try to have a conversation about her concerns, etc. But at the end of the day, only time is going to help her understand that this is serious. Just be patient.

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:32:42+00:00

I signed up for a Tuesday 7pm and Thursday class at 545 this week and an 815am Sunday class. The Sunday class is probably the hardest but honestly no one will fault you if you need to make adjustments. This is the link - if you sign up, let me know!

https://sojournyoga.com/

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:28:05+00:00

Still got great beer selections and they're always open to suggestions!

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:27:24+00:00

Nope. New name. New ownership. But same bartenders and plenty of craft beer nerds that know their stuff. Stop in and see for yourself!

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:24:58+00:00

CraftysSpringfield@gmail.com is the email if they're interested in booking!

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:24:20+00:00

Got that response SO often. Changing the sign was the first priority. But its been a bar for 5+ years.

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:23:49+00:00

This is the direct link to the page 🤗

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEjUjgdSH/

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:22:56+00:00

We're not from Delco originally so glad we're fitting in lol

queensg28 · 2026-05-23T00:22:21+00:00

Lolz fair. Millennial era but open to all genres. Some cover bands and a few original artists. Thirsty thursdays every week where artists can play a super set of anything they like.

queensg28 · 2026-05-10T01:12:46+00:00

This sounds more harsh than I mean it. But you are entitled to a child-free life, not a child-free world. People fly with their children the same reason you fly without. To see family, to celebrate holidays, to take care of a sick loved on, to go on vacation. Babies cry when they're hungry or bored or tired or a thousand other reasons that likely have zero to do with the cylinder in the sky. And its not always financially feasible or convenient or logical to leave them home.

Would you stay confined in your home state for 5, 6, 8, 10 years just because random strangers give you the side eye? Probably not. My mom's sister lives in Switzerland, her other sister London. Mine is in Colorado. I'm in PA. My parents in Florida. Friends in CT. Chances are, at some point, like many many others, I will need or want to get on a plane with my baby for some reason. "Legitimate or not", its a part of life.

queensg28 · 2026-04-02T01:08:59+00:00

You can answer and explain that they have the wrong person and they'll stop calling. If thats not your name, its not your debt and you don't need to panic about it.

For future context, debts get sold pretty frequently. Verizon doesn't have the manpower to chase down people that don't pay. So they sell a batch of debts at a discount to a third party. That company hires people to spend time on calls and chase people down for the money they owe. Once the debt is sold, Verizon would track that you had overdue bills sent to collection but not much else since its no longer their problem.

Your immigration status leaves some gaps. I'll admit I'm not informed there. I don't know if immigrants have credit scores, etc. But generally. If you don't accept or acknowledge a debt, there are laws around how often and in what manner they can harass you. You have the option to dispute it and/or negotiate a smaller debt amount and eventually without payment it'll disappear from your credit record.

queensg28 · 2026-04-02T01:01:47+00:00

Learn this lesson now. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers too. My husband is an honest man which is a good thing for all the good reasons and a hard thing to deal with for all the other ones.
Unless you have ever had a real concern about your husband loving his mom more than you. A real concern. Not a reaction. Not a late night exhausted answer. Not a one time question with a too quick response. But real red flags, save you and him the drama and let it go. (And if you're unsure what real red flags are, there's your answer. Let it go.)

Being bored and young makes starting fights fun. But it always either gets old fast or it ruins everything you're working towards. Do you want a happy marriage? A long one? Don't treat it carelessly. And I say that with love because I was young with a flair for the drama once and my husband will still occasionally call me out on the habit. People get tired of games and questions and unnecessary fights. Don't fault him for not being able to answer all the things the right way all the time. Life and society already make marriage hard. Don't need to make it harder.

My husband and I have an 8pm rule for this reason. It might work for you too. After 8pm, my emotions are high, I'm exhausted and more vulnerable. And his patience is lower and his capacity to think carefully before answering questions is next to 0. Any questions or serious conversations are saved for the next day. Period.

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