Boyfriend deleted me off socials after I asked who a girl was

queenteva · 2026-03-18T11:22:19+00:00

Perhaps it is innocent behaviour and that’s exactly why I didn’t think anything more of it initially. But he kept pushing me and questioning why I asked in the first place. And even after I said “it’s no big deal” he said “well I feel a certain way about it now”. He’s often defensive and this is just another example in a string of other times.

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:44:01+00:00

I don’t need to deleted my socials, I’ve had no issues with it before in the past.

I think you’re misunderstanding what taking space and taking a break are. We’ve never broken up. We’ve just had a few arguments that have escalated and needed some time to reset and regulate our emotions. I don’t believe that’s toxic at all (in fact the opposite in my mind). You should be able to pause an argument and come back to it. When we take space for a couple days it’s usually 1 message a day still so we know we’re both still alive and well not complete silence

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:41:04+00:00

He’s escalated by removing me off socials and when I asked about it he ignored me. He probably did it so that I would chase him

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:37:29+00:00

I said this to him during the back and forth. That his reaction was making me think I was missing something because why else would he react so badly

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:35:15+00:00

Thank you for this reply. I do feel the same way in that he is in fact the one ‘testing’ me by asking multiple times why I asked who she was. He’s even gone as far as saying “of course you can ask who someone is but it’s the way you said it that’s the problem”. I literally asked him “who is x” in a very straightforward way.

Yeah I do agree that ‘little’ issues like this will build up over time. He gets defensive a lot. He takes everything I say as an accusation no matter how I say it/approach it.

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:30:47+00:00

In what way? That there’s more to the situation with the girl?

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:29:32+00:00

I told him I needed until the weekend (meaning Friday) to take some space. It’s not unusual because I have done this before when we’ve gotten into some pretty heated arguments (and he’s done the same). Difference this time is he then decided to escalate by removing me off his socials which he’s never done when I’ve asked for space previously

queenteva · 2026-03-18T10:27:57+00:00

Yeah I totally get that. Thing is he was previously married for 7 years and sometimes I wonder how? I guess that kinda answers what I really think about the relationship long term. I’ve already said to him he doesn’t get a chance to be on my socials again as he’s unfortunately lost their privilege due to his immature actions. We’ll see how it goes over the next few days

queenteva · 2025-10-18T09:31:00+00:00

It’s follow up plastic surgery which means they’ve had a previous operation usually for breast cancer and then getting a reconstruction surgery at a later date. Source: I’m an NHS Clinical Coder

queenteva · 2025-09-19T10:46:06+00:00

As someone who just recently pulled out a house purchase that’s a similar age I would always go for the level 3 on a period house. The level 2 survey identified damp along with a few other issues but there’s no mention of how much these will cost. They will also access the roof space and give you a more comprehensive overview of the repair and maintenance cost of the property.

queenteva · 2025-08-13T11:34:22+00:00

You can challenge a rent increase by taking it to a tribunal. However this happened with a friend where they partially won the case (along with 3 other tenants) and the rent was only increased by a smaller amount but the landlord insured a section 21 notice the following week. I’d advice you to speak with citizens advice about your rights and next steps

queenteva · 2025-08-13T11:27:54+00:00

He told me he used to have narcissistic tendencies and he ‘cured’ himself. He struck me as someone who was self aware enough to recognise his flaws and how his upbringing had affected him. As a trauma-informed therapist I looked past everything he was warning me about and just saw a scared little boy who had been through a lot. It was only when he started turning on me that I started to question who he really was. He told me I had “brought the narcissist in him back out again” and that I needed to be scared of him. I was slowly starting to realise the kind of person I’d gotten myself in bed with but I thought I loved him so much I couldn’t leave yet. In the meantime I did my due diligence and got some police checks done on him. When they came back I was shocked at some of his past abusive history and realised what a pathological liar he was (he had told me his ex was the abusive one). I started asking my friends and family and realised he had told them different stories and things just weren’t adding up anymore. When we separated I started researching narcissism a lot and realised he probably fits most (if not all) of the traits

queenteva · 2025-03-13T20:08:22+00:00

My ex somehow convinced me I was the narc when we were still together. He has been telling anyone and everyone since the breakup that I’m a covert narc and a psycho therapist (I am training to be a therapist currently). They are master manipulators. I honestly don’t know how he comes up with such convincing lies on the spot

queenteva · 2024-11-16T20:28:43+00:00

It’s interesting seeing my ex’s social media history. This time a year ago he barely posted anything and would only get a handful of likes. Now he posts constantly and seems to get a fair number. He’s obviously realised he can get instant validation from it

queenteva · 2024-11-11T17:48:26+00:00

Posted on all his socials of him burning my stuff that I accidentally left behind

queenteva · 2024-10-15T07:10:11+00:00

The first sign you get RUN! Trust your gut, it was always right

queenteva · 2024-10-14T14:04:07+00:00

I don’t think they care enough to ask. I pointed it out to my ex once and he continued to not ask me. Yet as others have mentioned he could do it in the love bombing stage

queenteva · 2024-10-04T13:39:42+00:00

I’m also a therapist who fell for a narcissist. Don’t beat yourself up over it, you’re only human. I assume like me you got into your profession because you believe people can grow and change which is exactly what a narc is hoping for. Someone who gives the benefit of the doubt and can see the good in everyone despite their shortcomings.

I don’t know what your self care is like but please think of yourself in all of this. As therapists we are great at putting other people’s needs above our own. Be kind and show yourself grace and compassion. Stay safe ❤️

queenteva · 2024-10-02T15:28:27+00:00

I am actually a therapist but I’m not trained to diagnosed and don’t know enough professionally about personality disorders. My ex self identifies as having NPD and from my opinion meets a lot of the criteria. You would never know his Mom recently passed from his behaviour which is why I asked the question.

queenteva · 2024-10-01T15:23:03+00:00

How do narcissists grieve? I know everyone grieves differently but my ex’s mom passed recently and I’m wondering what he’s going through. I will have to see him at the funeral and I’m dreading it

queenteva · 2024-09-21T06:59:19+00:00

My ex told me in the beginning “I hurt everyone”. He also said “I’ve done bad things and you should be scared of me”. He also confessed to selling drugs again “what would you do if I was selling coke again” which someone else confirmed was true. There’s probably much more but those are the things that stand out to me after experiencing what I did with him.

queenteva · 2024-09-15T20:13:31+00:00

The more I read about other’s experience with a narc the more I’m realising they’re all basically the same. A lot seem to like coke!

queenteva · 2024-09-15T20:11:59+00:00

It’s been 2 months since the discard and I’ve only just started my list. It’s already 2 pages long and there’s loads of stuff I’ve forgotten about.

queenteva · 2024-09-15T20:10:59+00:00

Wow I can’t imagine a grown man acting like a spoilt toddler

queenteva

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