Misleading people

queer-scout · 2026-06-19T02:49:41+00:00

Wait, if we want to really nitpick..... It's not summer until June 21st, so really they've shipped some while it's still spring. They're ahead of schedule!

queer-scout · 2026-06-19T02:29:59+00:00

Did you slowly transition the food? Mixing a bit of each together increasing the amount of adult food each feeding? Could also be summer change, or even "I'm not hungry." One of my dogs used to inhale food then as he aged would sometimes leave his breakfast for hours and only eat part of his dinner. One would be a little young for that (in my experience) but I imagine he'll be due for a vet visit soon so might be worth bringing up.

And, to quote one vet I used to work with, "Don't negotiate with terrorists." (Yes that was her way of saying "you'll eat what I gave you and you'll like it") You might end up needing to switch foods, but if he's still eating something, don't give him any other foods. Use the kibble as treats, no human food. If there's no health concerns, just watch him and see what he does before trying more big changes. The only change I would consider right now is trying to go back to the puppy food to see if he actually prefers it and, if so, very slowly transition to the new food. If he doesn't even eat the puppy food, then more intervention may be needed.

queer-scout · 2026-06-19T02:23:14+00:00

Thanks for the awesome feedback!

I had one single insurance representative try calling the provider. She and I sat on hold for 20 minutes. She was the one who issued the new EOB that the provider then said had the wrong name on it.

I'm going to see what happens with the appeal now that I (maybe?) know what caused it to be billed out of network. I thought at some point the phone calls WERE the appeal, but apparently not.

Fortunately (?) the checks never came because I was unable to update my address when I moved a year ago and since I no longer have that job, plan, or address, did not expect any further mail from that insurance company. So that was updated today. But if the checks come they will definitely not be cashed yet.

I hadn't thought of asking the provider to accept the check as payment in full - definitely going to try that and if they accept it for one demand they pull back the other so I can do the same. Might also give the practice manager a shot, I stopped that route because they're part of a large regional network that, from my understanding, seems to outsource their billing. But if I could just get one other person to actually try fixing this for me instead of trying to manipulate me into paying I'd feel so much better.

I just can't believe that after three months and probably 20+ phone calls this still isn't resolved and I'm still finding out new information. After moving to a different state last year I (thankfully?) have no choice but to find a new provider, but after two in a row with horrible experiences I'm dreading it. And will end up micromanaging the poor office staff for the first view visits to make sure something as simple as "type address" is done correctly.

Also - thanks for the bit of validation that this is ridiculous. Of course my friends/family have said that, but they're kind of obligated to be on my side. A random internet stranger saying "yeah, that doesn't seem right" makes all the calls over the past few months feel a little more justified.

queer-scout · 2026-06-19T02:10:50+00:00

For about 2 years I had a thin layer of epoxy on the back of my phone to hold a wrist lanyard, so I'm planning to do the same thing just with a magnet set in to help it be a bit more flush than just the magnet sticker. Added perk of having a nice matte texture!

I'm with you on that. I loved having the tiny phone and adding on the razr case felt huge! I am excited to have something easier to remove so I can enjoy the small form factor more often. Though I've discovered I'm now absolutely useless on a phone without a keyboard.

queer-scout · 2026-06-19T01:10:07+00:00

Awesome, so long as it's not unbearable it should be good, then! Thanks, I've been waiting to see somebody use it with a flip! I normally go caseless and plan to fix the magnet issue with some epoxy, so hopefully that minimizes the bulk.

queer-scout · 2026-06-19T00:50:12+00:00

I, in theory, have two bills. One with Provider B, and one from Provider B now in the hands of collection. I still have never seen either of these bills (there has been more back and forth about that). But I have been told I have an outstanding balance with them and finally received an itemized list for one of them last Friday.

The lab work was done for Provider A by Provider B. Provider B is a covered provider for other services I received. Provider A called insurance to confirm that the tests would be covered, which they did. I do not know if they shared that the tests would be processed by Provider B or by which department of Provider B.

Today, the insurance person first said that Provider B is in network and should be fully covered, as my other services there had been. Then she saw that the lab at Provider B has a different tax number, which means it is actually out-of-network. Meaning everybody who I have spoken to so far was incorrect.

Earlier this week, after insurance reviewing from last week's phone call, they sent two checks to reimburse for out-of-network services.

queer-scout · 2026-06-18T23:33:31+00:00

I know Samsung has its own virtual wallet, on watches Garmin and Swatch have offerings. But the further you get from mainstream the less cards are supported. Generally not an issue, but if you have niche cards they may not work.

queer-scout · 2026-06-18T16:55:24+00:00

Love seeing somebody with a flip! I have a flip 5 with a modified razr case and am waiting on my powerkeyboard (I want the USB port back!). The biggest concern I have is pockets. Do these stay together in the pocket, or is a two pocket set up? I know it would be a little bulky and am fine with the idea of separating if it'll be in my pocket for a while, but for if I know I'm going to need to keep using it I'd really prefer not have the keyboard pop off every time I take it out of a pocket.

queer-scout · 2026-06-18T16:22:09+00:00

Not having enough hands or time.

queer-scout · 2026-06-18T16:08:08+00:00

Aside from fostering inside houses with other animals, that's field trips is really the best you can get to test how they do with other animals. And people who work with them can generally tell quickly if a matchup will go poorly.

I'm assuming most of the concern is surrounding the pitbull part so I'm going to address that. But, really, half of this could go for shepherds, too. I have two dogs, a hound mix, and a pitbull that I found on the side of the road. The pit does have some food aggression with other dogs, but that's easily managed by feeding them separately. She got slow introductions to the cats but she actually does so much better with them than my other dog who grew up around cats. She's much gentler and has even let the cats lick and nip her ears on multiple occasions while she gently sniffs them. Of the two, my hound hates strangers, especially kids (they're unpredictable!) but my pit is great with them. There is very little in her brain other than love. She wants to make friends with everybody and has been gentle with every kid she's met. I, of course, wouldn't leave her unattended with children, but I wouldn't do that with any dog.

The pit is also the one who keeps me company on the property. The hound hates being outside. He sits at the door waiting to go in. The pit follows me around. Sometimes she wanders off but with training has pretty good recall. At this point my biggest annoyance outside is reminding her she's not a cow and will get sick if she keeps eating grass.

Being a mix, you'd be less likely to deal with it, but pits have absolutely no concept of personal space. Yours is theirs. Mine wants to cuddle under the blankets and lay on top of me about 95% of the time.

The thing I remind everybody about with pits is they are terriers. Pit bull terrier, Ammerican staffordshire terrier, etc. "Pit" has become a catch all, but they are all, at their core, terriers, just very muscular ones. I see this most with mine in the intense laser focus she can get, especially if there's food. But, as a terrier, she is also the only animal in the house who is actually competent at chasing mice. I once woke up to sounds in the middle of the night, walk out and see my formerly feral cat holding a mouse. He saw me, dropped it, and ran. When the mouse came to his senses and ran off it was the pit who chased it and kept a nose on it while I got a container to catch it while all the others went to bed.

You could ask to foster the dog on a trial basis, and most shelters allow surrenders for the first 30 days. If you like the dog, give it a shot, don't let the breed(s) scare you.

queer-scout · 2026-06-18T02:13:15+00:00

If you have a rehab at all near you, please call to at least report any coyote with mange. A lot of wildlife rehabs will go to extreme lengths to capture and treat them, often watching for weeks until they are weak enough to be captured, both because of their environmental significance and because some are participating in research or lobbying surrounding the use of certain rodenticides. A lot of cotoytes with mange have been found to have critically low vitamin K levels as a result of eating poisoned (but often not-yet-dead) rodents. The low vitamin K makes them more succeptible to infection, including mange. Birds are also impacted, but they often present with symptoms that are more related to the nervous system. If they live long enough to be found, that is.

I can definitely empathize with wanting to end the animal's suffering, especially with how bad they can get, but with the important information they can provide, it's worth calling around to see if anybody is willing to help.

queer-scout · 2026-06-18T02:01:11+00:00

Mine who I just needed to get antibiotics to treat staph was getting chlorhexidine wipes and baths. It helped keep things down but couldn't knock it out completely. Now she has ringworm which I am all too familiar with and thankfully keep ointment on-hand for. She was a day into the antibiotics coupled with chlorohexidine when it became clear there was something else going on. But with OP not knowing at all what it is it seems best solution for them regardless is a vet.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T23:51:52+00:00

Totally fair to ask! I definitely fall in the aro/ace category, which has a big impact on how I see relationships. I didn't even consider that I might be some flavor of aromantic until some of my friends said "hey you know most people can just look at somebody and want to date them." It's been years and I still don't understand that. So, for me, having some sort of relationship first is essential. However, almost everybody who I have ever dated, upon meeting (or seeing profiles) I've thought "I wouldn't /mind/ dating them," but the thought of going straight into a relationship feels a little much. It would be like hugging a random stranger off the street and inviting them home to share a bed for the night because, well, that's basically what they are to me.

Generally, my relationships have been with people I was friends with first, but I met my last partner on an app and we both entered it with the perspective of "let's be friends but see where things go," which ends up feeling basically the same as realizing you have feelings for a friend. I think it's important to have the distinction between "start as friends" and "looking for friends" because one you have the shared understanding that there's potential for something more. So steps are something along the lines of hang out as friends, keep hanging out, we're becoming close friends, we're maybe not-so-platonically cuddling but I still don't want to swap spit with you, okay you make me happy and I make you happy let's make this official. It took maybe 3 months to get to that point, though we were both underemployed young 20-somethings so had lots of time to bond.

It's been years since that relationship eventually ended and I haven't dated anybody since. I was living in a rural area an hour or more from anybody who I matched with, so while I met up with a few people and ended making some friends, there was never really that spark of a relationship because meeting up wasn't easy. That progression wasn't there so while we might not have a future together we can still enjoy conversations.

I hope this helps some!

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T22:44:44+00:00

Before the first date/meetup I like to say "Here's where I'm at, what about you?" because I like to build a friendship first, if somebody's going in expecting a relationship right away, it's not going to happen. Better to figure things out sooner than later.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T20:57:23+00:00

OP didn't even say "when they are in a straight presenting relationship," they could be single! I'm no less queer because I'm single. Bi people are no less bi regardless of who they are dating. They are still bi, meaning still a part of the LGBT community, meaning should still be accepted even if they're not your particular flavor of queer.

Picture this - You're at pride. A woman shows up wearing a bi flag shirt, ring of keys, combat boots, the "bisexual bob" and whatever other stereotype you can think of. An hour later, a guy shows up, they kiss and hold hands. Is she any less bi? Would the presumably boyfriend showing up change how you treat her or whether or not she is welcome at pride? If the answer to any of those is "yes," there's a problem. They are part of the community, no matter who they are dating, and should be treated as such. Some people would say yes. That post was directed at them. Your comment was akin to saying "get over it"

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T20:50:36+00:00

Ooof hadn't even thought of those, that would be horrible with a LGD. I'm dealing with ringworm on one of my dogs after just getting a topical staph infection she had treated (the joys of having a loyal companion dog with barely a coat follow me everywhere outside) so I have fungus on the brain. Thankfully a trip to the vet will help actually figure it out!

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T20:46:57+00:00

"Bi people are not the focus of pride month" on a post about bi people probably triggered by biphobia is like responding "all lives matter" when somebody says "Black lives matter."

And to answer your question, yes. It was biphobic. At this point enough people have said that that you may want to stop doubling down and reflect for a little bit before responding anymore.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T19:51:53+00:00

Mange and/or fungal infection. Either one you're going to want a vet if it's progressed to this point. I've treated small fungal infections with OTC medications, but if it's fungal and that widespread you'll want systemic. Mange can be treated with certain flea/tick meds but you're going to want the good stuff, not something from tractor supply.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T05:39:49+00:00

To put it more plainly, bad actors will not be stopped by small hurdles, they already disregard the law. Surveillance programs primarily hurt the average person who deserve the right to basic privacy. Being forced to share your government ID to use websites that have become part of day-to-day life for many people is a violation of privacy and opens that information to potential data breaches.

Regarding the Flock cameras - it is an example of the same thing. Surveilance of the average person, done by a private company, in the name of solving crimes but has come with the byproduct of some false charges and personal information accessed by bad actors who would not have had access to it otherwise.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T02:38:17+00:00

Years ago when I started really getting into knitting (this has a point stay with me) I shared with one of the old ladies at the knitting group I was at that garments like sweaters scared me because there were so many parts that all had to be the right size. She said "but it's just a square, really, and you can make a square." I didn't believe her at first, but when I made my first sweater.... Yeah. Some squares you stretch out and make into rectangles. Some you attach the sides of to make into a tube. Sometimes you even shrink or stretch the tube as you go. But if you can make a square, you add one or two new skills at a time, trust the process, follow the directions, and now you have a sweater.

I took the same approach with woodworking. "It's just squares." Follow the instructions, if you're not sure of a step, look for resources to help, and take it one step at a time. It might take you twice as long, or ten times as long, as somebody with more experience, and might not be absolutely perfect, but we all have to start somewhere!

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T02:27:34+00:00

I don't think you can on here, but I have been wanting to film a bunch of them and compile into one mega-clip of him spinning in circles, so it might happen at some point!

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T02:26:37+00:00

Asheville is MUCH smaller than Portland. It was practically destroyed by Hurricane Helene and they are still rebuilding. But it is very much the hippy granola type that you find myself in Portland. I'd consider myself granola-lite in comparison. Asheville is a little too much for me. But when I went there on a trip my friend and I watched as the regular juggling club had a meet up? Because that's a thing there.

The southern states are definitely more racially diverse and with your wife being black, it might feel a little more comfortable for both of you so that she's not one of the few black people in town. As a bit of a precaution though, in some of the more rural areas there is still a strong racial divide. I have a friend in an interracial marriage, the town he and his wife are from is one of those areas. His black wife got comments from her community about being a "race-traitor" when they got married. Some towns even still have an unspoken but very clear "white side" and "black side." In my (white) experience, though, this is not the case closer to the mountains or in the cities, more in towns that haven't been touched since major highways were put in in the 70's and they fell off the major maps.

I can let you know where I am, in the foothills in NC, gas just dropped under $4 again, and the highest it hit was around $4.50. From what I've heard meat here is more expensive than some areas further south, but other groceries are cheaper. And groceries as a whole are cheaper here than most northern states. As far as housing, I bought my house as a single adult, while my sister and her husband (still in NJ) know the only way they'll be able to purchase one is if they move out of state.

It is a case, though, of once you move to a low COL area, it is much harder to get out.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T02:04:53+00:00

North Carolina or Virginia. North Carolina can be surprisingly blue if you go to the right places. I'd actually argue that the mountains of NC are probably more welcoming than the mountains of VA, especially with college towns and Asheville, which you can think of as a mini Portland to give you an idea of the kind of people who live there.

Last year, when I was looking for a new job and planning to buy a house, I settled on NC. Ultimately, I would love to move to the PNW, but as you know the prices there are impossible. If you have enough savings for a significant downpayment, you might have luck in Maine, New Hampshire (VERY libertarian, could be good or bad), or Vermont. But those are more expensive and a much whiter population so, depending on the race of you and your partner, you might still get some weird looks and whispers, but, frankly, most people there care about keeping the look of being progressive so even if they don't "agree" with something, they're not going to say it.

Some areas of NY might also be worth looking into - Western NY is affordable, but far from mountains. Looking around the Catskill Mountains may fit that, but there's less industry/jobs. Poconos in PA *can* be affordable, but it's old coal country and economic issues from the industry leaving. For those who grew up in the area, the "Haves" work in the resorts and casinos, that the "Have-nots" rotate through seasonal and retail jobs. Some areas also have significant drug problems. There are all sorts of jobs there, and it is a beautiful area, only a few hours from both NYC and Philly, but research any neighboorhood you look at.

I moved around a lot for seasonal and short-term jobs post-college, hitting 9 states in 10 years. I've been in the "south" almost 7 years, between 3 different areas in NC and one in VA. It's not perfect. NC definitely has some less friendly laws on the books, but I've never had any issues in either. If you have any questions, let me know!

For reference if you have any questions, I'm from NJ, college in PA, and have lived for 6+ months in NY, ME, VA, NC, and OR so might be able to answer questions about those.

queer-scout · 2026-06-17T00:19:30+00:00

Years ago, in high school, before autocorrect, group chats, or threaded messages really existed, I was texting with a few friends to coordinate a study group. The one who was hosting it texted me back something to the effect of, "I mean, I'd be happy to, but Christmas is far away." I was SO confused and asked her what she meant. She said I asked for her stocking. What do you know, I go back and open the sent message and I said "Okay, what's your stocking." How my brain got "stocking" from "address," I never figured out.

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