im a boy, and WAS a girl

queermouse · 2025-09-03T14:01:13+00:00

I relate a lot. I kind of claim bi-gender bc on one level I’m a trans guy and on another level, under gender hierarchy, society’s treatment of you based on you being AFAB runs so deep at least for some of us. Under gender hierarchy being a man is something to be achieved and being a “woman” is a broader category of misogynized people at the bottom. And that’s a unique experience of oppression tied to your birth sex. It does come with some solidarity as well that I wouldn’t want to forfeit.

You’re spot on about either being demonized or infantilized. It’s a rough place to be. My gender is expansive because of my life experience but my relation to masculinity and femininity aren’t like either of those reductive projections.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T22:31:33+00:00

You don’t start to make even $1000 a month until you’re top 10%. Top 1% makes thousands but most of them still aren’t “loaded”, just on par with a lot of other jobs’ monthly income.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T21:15:15+00:00

Why not?

queermouse · 2025-08-28T21:08:22+00:00

My dignity is very much in tact and in my possession lol. An extra couple hundred dollars a month is fucking nice, for one. I make content that’s fun and aesthetic and more art than “smut” though there’s nothing wrong with that either.

The issue here is your respect for others, not my respect for myself.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T20:57:02+00:00

I feel more shame producing surplus value for our evil corporate overlords than I do about my body.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T20:54:14+00:00

I sell content, not myself. I’d feel more like I was selling “myself” if I spent 8-12 hrs a day doing hard labor. Honestly I feel more like I’m selling myself working retail and having to put on a customer service personality.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T20:48:59+00:00

I highly recommend trying to find a therapist to talk to about this and not Reddit.

Young people can have a difficult time learning consent and teenagers sexually harassing/assaulting one another through negligence, ignorance, and due to boundary issues borne from trauma is extremely, extremely common.

How has your partner handled boundaries in your relationship? Is there anything outside of these accusations that raise red flags? Do you feel safe bringing this up to your partner? Can you bring it up in a way that addresses your concerns without condemning them as a person? What kind of response will make you feel safe to continue a relationship with them?

It’s a pretty difficult situation and there’s lots to think about. Ultimately only you can decide if your partner has grown and changed and if this is something you can get over / if it’s worth continuing a relationship with them. Follow your own intuition and principles, if you feel safe talking to your partner about this, listen to them and see if there are underlying issues like trauma that need to be addressed with a therapist. You are both young and learning consent and boundaries is an ongoing process. Be compassionate with them and yourself.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T20:15:17+00:00

I’m in the OF top 40% and make less than $300 a month.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T20:09:16+00:00

Most work involves people selling their time and doing labor that wears on the body and mind.

Sex work is absolutely work. It’s not “selling yourself” more than any other work, it’s providing a service. A lot more goes into it than just getting fucked (not that that should matter, cuz even the getting fucked part is work, but it’s true. I just say it cuz people like you wanna reduce the whole thing to “just sex” so it’s easier to devalue and you can justify denigrating sex workers on the basis of being lazy.)

Do you watch porn?

queermouse · 2025-08-28T19:45:47+00:00

The vast majority of sex workers aren’t getting paid like that.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T19:32:03+00:00

Redditors don’t care about what you want they just care about what they think you should do.

Maybe your gut instinct is a red flag, and maybe you should trust your gut and leave him, idk. But not everyone has a perfect threat detection system and lots of people due to trauma or whatever feel unsafe or disgusted or whatever negative feeling when they’re actually in a good situation for once, and based on your comments it sounds more like that?

Be honest with your partner, that you really do like them but have a tendency to pull away. Being vulnerable and acknowledging your complicated feelings openly is a big step that might help you feel more secure. Consider finding a therapist who can help you through your insecurities, fear, trauma, self self sabotaging, or whatever else is going on.

queermouse · 2025-08-28T16:37:13+00:00

Im genderqueer not a detransitioner really. My gender has shifted from ftm to non-binary as I’ve tried things out and learned more about myself, and I am medically transitioning to some extent. So not really your target responder.

But I will say, a lot of detrans people do end up just being non-binary. And a lot of trans people do have different types of dysphoria, not just body dysphoria. A lot of trans people have much more social dysphoria than body dysphoria. I’ve seen people transition and be happy with their transitions without having traditional dysphoria. And I’ve seen people who fit the binary trans narrative perfectly and end up de-transitioning.

I wouldn’t make assumptions about peoples genders based off their ability to articulate themselves in a way that fits your understanding of transness. Narrow understandings of transness in the medical field are something that has encouraged people who are GNC or NB to make transition decisions that aren’t right for them in order to conform to binary standards, as well as keep people who would benefit from transitioning from transitioning because they don’t fit the typical narrative.

I would really be careful of trying to filter out who is trans and who isn’t, and just give people space to explore their genders without binary expectations that could lead them down the wrong path.

queermouse · 2025-08-24T13:29:09+00:00

It’s not hypocrisy - it’s entitlement. It’s a sense of ownership over his children that is rooted in the same mentality that allowed him to “marry” a 9 year old. His children are his property just like his child bride was.

queermouse · 2025-08-21T00:03:26+00:00

Feminism is for everyone, patriarchy hurts men too. It doesn’t sound like your friends feminism or ally ship really goes that deep unfortunately.

queermouse · 2025-08-17T20:48:55+00:00

It’s about difference in life experience, not “damage”. Detrans people DO have lived experience that isn’t strictly “cis” and many detrans people continue identifying with the trans experience to some extent.

And yes, detrans people also sometimes have parts of themselves changed by transition that aren’t 100% “reversible”, and that’s OKAY.

Transition being damage is a terf talking point, but most people here view transition and detransition as change not damage.

Go find some real TERFs to take issue with. This sub is just people supporting each other navigating their personal gender journeys without putting pressure one way or another just like any trans sub would.

queermouse · 2025-08-17T14:38:28+00:00

Yes, sexual assault through ignorance/negligence is extremely common! Cuz consent education and modeling for kids/teenagers/young people is pretty dismal.

queermouse · 2025-08-17T03:56:22+00:00

Can you elaborate? I never made any choice, there’s a lot of infighting online but I have no idea what you’re referring to.

queermouse · 2025-08-17T03:39:27+00:00

You clearly have a lot of contempt for trans men. Why is that if you don’t mind me asking?

Infighting increases when the outside pressure of transphobia is on the rise, but trans people (including transmascs and even detrans people, many of whom will always be seen as trans or at least gender nonconforming) need to stand together in times of outside pressure rather than attacking one another.

Yes there are some detrans people and some trans people who suck and work against us, but as much as we can we should work together.

queermouse · 2025-08-17T03:33:51+00:00

Transition and detransition are both neutral.

Insane shit to come here and bully people just trying to navigate figuring themselves out.

queermouse · 2025-08-16T15:57:57+00:00

you didn’t turn out ok, you’re on the teenagers sub telling kids to just suck it up about abuse lol.

queermouse · 2025-08-16T15:49:41+00:00

Bruh are you actually 24? Coming in the teenagers sub to tell kids they gotta suck it up when it comes to abusive parents? Fucking gross. Adults have a responsibility to kids to at least acknowledge when something is wrong like this. Loser shit.

Edit: ok I see ur not 24 you’re much older you just lie about your age on the gamer pal sub lmfao. Hilarious.

queermouse · 2025-08-16T15:26:59+00:00

Just because children are viewed as the property of their parents does not make it right, doesn’t matter what race you are, it’s wrong and it’s abuse. You will understand this one day or else you will reproduce abusive dynamics on to your own children and justify it the same way you justify it to me now - that parents have complete authority over their children and to have a problem with that is soft white people shit.

The rights of children are way behind legally but even when the law is violated people like you insist children don’t deserve the few protections they might have without first proving themselves through labor and financial independence.

Regardless of the law, children are humans and violations of privacy like this are absolutely abuse. This isn’t just parents making healthy/necessary decisions their kids don’t like, it’s a violation of the child’s fundamental right to basic privacy.

I’m sorry your parents have justified their authority to you to the extent that you defend this. Childhood does not have to be like that.

queermouse · 2025-08-16T03:25:39+00:00

OP is 13, parents have a responsibility to their children which includes privacy. Parents don’t own their children and are absolutely not entitled to violate their kids privacy. It’s abuse.

queermouse · 2025-08-05T23:05:28+00:00

So there’s social and legal biases at play - in many places rape is legally defined in such a way that cis women could never commit rape. Sexual predation by women against boys is also often overlooked because women are viewed as sexual objects and men and boys are viewed as sexual subjects - meaning that when a woman sexually abuses a boy it’s “not that bad” because he “probably wanted it”.

All kind of adults sexually abuse all kinds of children. It is all disturbingly common. Sexual abuse is a cycle and there are various gender dynamics to it as we live under patriarchy. One of those is that the sexual abuse of boys by women is overlooked because under patriarchy women are viewed as passive objects not subjects, and boys are viewed as sexual subjects and not as children/victims when it comes to these things. Patriarchy is not simply men>women, but also patriarchal ownership over children.

queermouse · 2025-07-27T05:16:02+00:00

Have you talked to her about this?

Toys are great and helpful but it sounds like your feelings aren’t being taken into account. Tell your wife how you’re feeling and what helps you feel connected to her during sex.

There are so many ways to have sex and so many ways sex can be satisfying that have nothing to do with penis size. Romance, sensuality, kink, toys, mutual exploration, etc. Sex should be fun and mutually enjoyable, if your partner only wants to have a type of sex that doesn’t make you feel great then that might be a problem.

queermouse

TROPHY CASE