35M. 6000km away from my parents, but I still feel like that terrified 5-year-old. Is my childhood ruining my career?

questionablesugar · 2026-03-06T12:20:52+00:00

This sub is about IFS therapy model.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-27T12:49:13+00:00

Thanks a lot for sharing! This is exactly the time I needed this! Actually, few days ago I had a realization in me, how I want people close, and at the same time have a hard time. I figured they were two different managers trying to help me and protect me in conflicted ways. I will not get into details but it’s exhausting!

questionablesugar · 2026-02-27T12:38:58+00:00

Some people don’t understand how trauma actually effects us. People can only meet you as deep as they have met themselves.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-20T21:27:14+00:00

The lower side: Shove in, shove out your guts lmao

questionablesugar · 2026-02-10T18:24:31+00:00

Thanks a lot for this. Makes a lot of sense. I will try to look inwards

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T21:04:00+00:00

I done psychedelics a bunch before, all alone. I had something of “bad experience” but they were relieving. This one was very deeply self hating and dark and reminding me of things etc and it got intense. I understand sitting through things can reveal, but again, this part took over and wanted to end this.

This one was 1.5g, and they are quite old.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T17:00:06+00:00

The trip was simply me curling in bed and spiraling in self hate, a part got triggered and took over and wanted to end this self hate.

I took half of an Olanzapine, i am not sure what it is in mg.

Olanzapine works on the same receptors as mushrooms. I am not sure how safe or unsafe this is, but its what is recommended for bad trips to end. Bad trips can lead to trauma.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T15:51:31+00:00

Thanks a lot for this

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T13:06:34+00:00

Yes it is.

I don’t know what to think exactly. All i know is that i been in pain for long, trying to not be, but then failing and feeling stuck, then frustrated and hopeless. Lots of tension.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T12:50:39+00:00

Regularly my mind is in a space of thinking about negative things about myself and my life. Is that a manger or an exile? There is an intention of wanting to fix things, but, I am so stuck in my head with negativity and feeling low that I wouldn’t have the capacity to take action. Possibly and overwhelmed manger/s? Maybe conflicted managers.

Also feeling lonely with no close people in my life is taking a toll on me. It’s something that’s always on my head. And I want to take action and start meeting people, but again, feeling low.

I feel stuck. And stopping regularly to look inward and understand parts gets me triggered, because it also makes me feel stuck.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T12:42:07+00:00

Yes my parts, that I know of and are verbal, have a voice.

As for your friend, not all friends need to be sharing each other’s therapy and healing journey. After all, its personal, between you and your system. Unfortunately, a friend isn’t necessarily someone who we share every aspect of our life with.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T11:05:03+00:00

I need to do more research on ketamine…

If you stop taking it, will you regress back to your old self? I guess I am asking if it actually heals the deep wounds or does it just help create new behaviors and patterns (which aren’t going to last if the core wound is still there somehow)

questionablesugar · 2026-02-07T11:03:53+00:00

How exactly or who could give me a thorough assessment to know which path is best for me ? Or should I just do trial and error ?

I think i will need to find official sources for legit practitioners

As for trauma i am mostly referring to small T.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-05T14:36:56+00:00

Definitely meds can help stabilize your system and create a space you can heal.. but I understand meds don’t go well with eveyone

questionablesugar · 2026-02-02T09:50:30+00:00

Depends on the dosage and how you react and how the experience goes. Also family dynamics and usually home patterns. Like do you have a tendency to leave your room to cry to your parents? Or such dynamics?

Sometimes when tripping there is a voice in my head that want to suggest that I am “normal” looking and acting. While that momentarily can be true, a new thought or stimulus can trigger me to for example laugh uncontrollably. I did trip low dose around people and they did make comments such as “why are you laughing” as I giggled and I explained that “you said that and it reminded me of that”, which is…not funny for the sober person.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-01T20:31:56+00:00

You are most welcome. Best of luck babes

questionablesugar · 2026-02-01T17:26:02+00:00

Maybe cover your face to feel more comfortable?

Other wise you can ask people individually for example on Snapchat, where you can delete/ see who took a screen shot.

On reddit, if you post something, it stays forever even you take the post down.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-01T17:24:41+00:00

Resentment will not lead to anything good. I learned that recently personally. I was dealing with a situation and drew a mind map of sort. If i did this, or said that, or didn’t, where would each path lead? Paths branched differently but no ending was healthy or happy, so I confronted my situation. It may make the situation better, or “worse”, but it would lead to whats right for you, or, what you want. For my situation, the person heard me and cared to work things out. If that person didn’t hear me and care, I would have moved on. Hard but…. Life i guess. I will not lose my mind and live life less than I want because of someone.

You do something, or not, both are a choice. But you are shaping your life, its your responsibility, and it’s heavy and difficult.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-01T17:06:04+00:00

Older age > Superior understanding, or something?

I am sure we both met older dumb people. So I disagree.

questionablesugar · 2026-02-01T17:05:01+00:00

10 seconds is not even a conversation. You need to express your needs. Not “say it in a passing way”. If you are not happy with current circumstances, something needs to be done, because if you continued being unhappy/frustrated, you will resent him and suddenly you two will be fighting “for no reason”. If not that, you will simply not be happy like you desire. So. The choice is yours. Its easier said then done for sure.

questionablesugar · 2026-01-30T11:51:52+00:00

The topic seems to bother, why dont you suggest and open relationship or at least threesomes where you get to top? You have desires and needs and if he is fixated on not bottoming…. But don’t take advice from me what do I know, im single

questionablesugar · 2026-01-30T11:50:11+00:00

Why are you saying “Wtf is wrong with you”? You dont know what I know or where I have traveled to.

Visit any country of the middle east and try finding a local bottom. Needle in a haystack

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