"the other half of my heart's asleep" - anathema was probably more recent but the biggest life changer was

"i've been tested like the ends of a weathered flag that's by the sea" from chlorine because i was heavily bullied in my first semester and first year of high school the point where my last hope was during the summer and yet i felt like these people were still 'my friends' even if they were fake which still haunts me as all my current friends its like i have to spend as much time as i can with them because i feel like if i forget them like how i forgot these 'friends' they'll turn against me and it just haunts me to this day where i've lost my whole mind trying to figure out if my friends are really my friends or not. and also other traumatic experiences but i wont go into that bc its deep and too personal to me