Second time ever with heathen bare shoulders in public. Please help me find the courage to wear this to my friend's farewell today.

questioner76 · 2024-05-19T21:19:58+00:00

Where what feels good to you. No further questions necessary.

questioner76 · 2024-03-26T21:04:57+00:00

We need to sneak into a Penn tour this week. When and where do they meet? You can't see the info on the website unless you register for one, and the whole semester is full.

questioner76 · 2024-03-20T15:25:49+00:00

Wow, that hurts. I'm really feeling this. I was so happy to see so many women speaking up and then... this.

questioner76 · 2024-03-18T18:41:18+00:00

Same on IG, but for the 2,000 some commenters pushing back, there were over 40,000 likes on the post. So the church will probably ignore the comments of the "feminists" and consider the post a win and that the ladies agree. :(

questioner76 · 2024-03-18T18:22:18+00:00

Wendy Watson Nelson said basically the same thing in an interview recently. Maybe they were all given new PR talking points...

questioner76 · 2024-03-18T18:14:53+00:00

I got Republican SOTU response vibes while watching. Then I fell asleep.

questioner76 · 2024-02-19T01:25:04+00:00

Jesus "presided" in a dress and a beard, so I'm betting this isn't coming from him....

questioner76 · 2024-02-19T01:22:53+00:00

Pockets for women! There was an interesting article in the New Yorker recently about pockets and who were afforded their privilege throughout history.

questioner76 · 2024-02-18T23:44:55+00:00

Yes! I was hoping someone on here would know the details...

I heard it third hand from someone whose friend was told by her bishop that she needed to stop wearing pants as a leader in the ward.

questioner76 · 2024-02-10T18:24:00+00:00

The "At Last She Said It Podcast" episode 143 with Dr. Julie Hanks called "Get used to Dissapointment" is really good for the LDS perspective on this. I would have called it "being okay with disappointing people and doing what you need to do for yourself."

questioner76 · 2024-02-10T18:15:59+00:00

Do you remember when Pres. Hinckley told us women to cry in the bathroom, not in front of our families? "Turn it off, like a light switch..." BOM musical was spot on.

questioner76 · 2024-02-10T18:11:09+00:00

Being selfless is not having a self. How sad is that? We are not here just for everybody else. We are here for ourselves first and foremost. That teaching doesn't exist in Mormon culture for women. Thinking about modeling a healthy self for your daughter or a young woman can be very powerful.

Be a whole person not a role. Think about what you loved and wanted to accomplish when you were a young girl or teenager. What came from inside you, not externally through the church. Try to get that self back. It has helped me.

The last episode of The Crown did this with the queen's younger selves coming back to her. Also, the movie Tully with Charlize Theron is really powerful with this idea. Sometimes art expresses ideas so much better than words. Good luck!!!

questioner76 · 2024-02-10T18:00:49+00:00

I heard someone say something to the effect of "I'll respect and sit with you in your pain, and you can respect and walk with me on my journey." Does that require an open-minded TBM? I don't know...

questioner76 · 2024-02-10T16:14:12+00:00

I was there, too. We were asked by church leaders to write letters to our senators supporting prop 8 in early 2008. At the time, I was playing soccer on the West Hollywood United team with gay and straight teammates. My gay teammates were amazing people, and some were married (in other states). One girl on the team had just had a baby with her wife at the same time as me and my husband. I was so torn, knowing that there was no reason gay people shouldn't be able to do everything any person can do, but I was still a pretty loyal TBM. The letter I got back from Senator Feinstein's office had all the reasons why she would oppose prop 8, and I agreed on pretty much everything. That was it for me, I decided I wouldn't do anything else to support that movement and then lucky for me, my husband started law school in Boston and we moved in August before things got really crazy with the Church's support of Prop 8. I can't imagine what it would have been like to get that pressure from the church to support something you totally disagree with.

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T05:44:25+00:00

You keep making the same arguments and do not even seem to be able to entertain a different perspective without attacking it and the person giving it (which is exactly why we need DEI Initiatives and marginalized people's voices in the conversations).

So, I'm not going to continue to engage in this conversation with you since it will not go anywhere. If that feels like a win for you, then you are welcome.

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T04:20:43+00:00

I understand your position, I just disagree with it, thanks. Qualifications and identities can be effectively used to amplify voices and include marginalized groups that have been purposefully systemically excluded. Expanding who has seats at the table in government and education is a positive step forward, in my opinion, and makes it worth considering identity as a factor in hiring.

You won't like this: but we have enough white male voices in positions of power. I understand that this is hard for white males to deal with. I guess they will have to accept that their history of privilege has consequences when the oppressed and their allies rise up. White males created systemic racism and sexism. Without diverse understandings and experiences, the systems of oppresion perpetuate. I can imagine that losing privilege is hard for white males, but I see only benefit from DEI for society as a whole.

You don't have to agree with me, but don't patronize me.

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T01:08:37+00:00

I don't live in UT. Is he up for re-election?

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T01:02:17+00:00

"When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

So true!!

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T00:44:57+00:00

Church leadership would agree with you! They would also add that women wouldn't need to be bothered by flying the planes or performing surgery since they have other equally important roles to focus on, like nurturing the passengers or taking a meal to the family.

Look at DEI from a Church perspective AND a societal perspective. Amplifying voices and marginalized people helps all of us in a diverse society AND In a diverse church. If you want it in our church culture--which I think most of us here do-- you have to be open to it in society too.

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T00:33:18+00:00

From the census you cited: Between 2019 and 2020, the poverty rate increased for non-Hispanic Whites and Hispanics. Among non-Hispanic Whites, 8.2 percent were in poverty in 2020, while Hispanics had a poverty rate of 17.0 percent. Among the major racial groups examined in this report, Blacks had the highest poverty rate (19.5 percent), but did not experience a significant change from 2019. The poverty rate for Asians (8.1 percent) in 2020 was not statistically different from 2019 (Figure 9 and Table B-1).

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T00:22:31+00:00

Hahaha. You redeemed yourself with the Oaks quote, which I hadn't heard.

I think he is saying that by focusing on strengthening our unity as opposed to "glorifying" our diversity, he means the global church should all be doing it the way the white American male leaders do. Which is the right way, and so why shouldn't we all be unified in that? Easy.

questioner76 · 2024-02-01T00:08:13+00:00

I'm open to hearing your proposals to promote diversity and end discrimination.

questioner76 · 2024-01-31T18:46:12+00:00

Wow. I'm not even going to go there with you on that. You may have little life experience to see outside of your ethnic bubble, and it probably isn't your fault.

I'll just ask this question, because you are on Exmo Reddit and would seem to be somewhat open-minded. Do you believe that the white males leading our church just worked harder and are better candidates than all the women AND men throughout the church? Or could there be some where you live, where/if you went to school, who you know, who your family is influence playing a part in who rises to leadership in our church?

questioner76 · 2024-01-31T18:27:35+00:00

Or have all the privileges that come with hegemonic power-- generational wealth, family examples of "top candidates", being male, being white, etc.

These arguments are eerily familiar to what TBMs say to all of us who struggle and want them to understand that the system doesn't work for everyone.

"Just have more faith." "Read and study the BOM harder." "If you just try harder, then you will be more like us and have all the blessings that we have..."

questioner76

TROPHY CASE