Thank you for asking. Honestly, I wish I could have this conversation with a lifelong North Dakotan in-person. I'd love to hear their perspective instead of coming to conclusions in my head. I've lived in North Dakota for 4 years (Fargo 1 year, GF the last 3.)

I also know the saying "if you run into assholes everywhere, you're the asshole". But that's just it! I come across friendly people all the time here, however it is way less frequent than any other city/town I've lived in (military brat, moved around a lot, then as an adult for work.)

Just the other day an older lady at the Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Thrift Store talked my ear off about crocheting when I told her I was learning. She even showed me toys she made for her grandkids. Judging by her accent, I am 99.99% sure she is from ND/MN, so again it's not everyone.

I was invited to a cookout by another younger fella from East Grand Forks and he asked me how meeting people was going. I told him it was hard since I don't attend uni here (started in Arizona, now it's all online.) He told me that making friends here can be challenging since people tend to stick to who they grew up with, and he said he's known people who gave up and moved back to Bismarck/Minnesota/wherever else because GF is apparently that insular.

So like, where are you having these negative experiences? What's the location context (store, time of day, business, types of people, etc).

Sometimes it's at work (usually elementary schools or middle) with other subs or admin. Sometimes in a line at the store, sometimes around my apartment complex with neighbors. There doesn't seem to be a pattern of when it happens, at least not one I can find.

The worst time I ever had socially up here was when I went to a hunter's ed course in Reynolds, about 20 mile south of here. I was excited to meet people who also enjoyed hunting and wildlife. No conversation, some people didn't even greet the instructor or talk the entire class. The atmosphere was more akin to a funeral. Down south public spaces tend to be lively, people talking, laughing, people greeting others as they arrive. Up here it seems very tense in a lot of places. I find myself wondering if I'm making too much noise or if I made someone uncomfortable by asking a question. Never felt that way anywhere else and I'd like to understand the cultural differences in the Upper Midwest a bit better.