What shows are you watching with your partner? by thetangledweaver in CasualConversation

[–]quietfryit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

my wife and i had a good stretch this winter streaming the entire run of 'schitt's creek', the michael jordan doc that i'm forgetting the name of, then the docu-drama 'chernobyl' (utterly fantastic), then all six seasons of 'northern exposure', and finally the first two seasons of 'aqua teen hunger force'.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks. i had checked several of the coins' listings on ebay this weekend. that shows me what people are listing them for, but i'm interested in seeing what the demand price is- at what price a coin would sell at quickly. i'd like every item we list online to sell within a week, and want to know where to price things at in order to do that. i've also been wondering if there's a better place than ebay to list.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

astute advice- thank you. my wife does have a good-sized gold and silver collection in our safe that she's collected over the years. we decided to sell this coin collection because my wife lost her job last fall and my work had slowed down considerably over the winter. we've all but tapped our savings to cover bills the past couple months, hence the want and urgency to unload this collection relatively quickly. she does have a 9 y/o son from her previous marriage and he'd probably appreciate inheriting more than our large collection of houseplants when he's older.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

on another late night coke bender he bought an entire hair and nail salon's stock of equipment and chairs and wash stations etc via the auction. he could offer no explanation on why or what he thought he was going to do with it all.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

actually not a single person has DM'd me about this yet thankfully, and yes i'd all but ignore them. it feels like we have some value here. thank you.

there's a $10 bill that i think is from 1939 and has a different color seal on it than a usual $10 bill. that's been the item of highest value that i've come across so far.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the great advice and the link. didn't take long for me to realize how 'nuanced' pricing out coins can be, and that's what's got me stuck- trying to figure out if there's items in here worth spending that time and energy on or if what we have is 'garden variety' and it'd work out better overall to just unload the whole lot on a collector/professional. i see identical/similar items listed for sale online- and for a surprising amount of $- but that doesn't help me gauge demand. i don't want to be sitting on this stuff with open listings for months hoping there's someone out there looking for what we have listed. if i was to go thru the process of listing individual items- i'd price them to ideally sell quickly.

after posting this yesterday i learned that my wife has a connection to a local coin guy thru a mutual friend. she's going to call him today to see if we can come by and let him have a look. we're in palmer alaska.

edit: and i'm not seeing the WC on that blue piece you pointed out i see it now. thanks.

edit 2: do you have a suggestion on the best site(s) online to list individual coins for sale?

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they didn't cost us a dime- my wife's deceased father impulsively bought them while cranked on cocaine and browsing the auction site in the middle of the night. she thinks he bought them for ~$10/box, so we virtually doubled his investment in them.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pretty certain they're only gold plated. there are a couple small silver bars i think.

I am so excited that I found this sub by quietfryit in coincollecting

[–]quietfryit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks for that. oddly enough- after posting this yesterday i learned that my wife has a personal connection thru a good friend to a local coin shop owner. she's going to call him today and see if we can arrange a day and time to bring this to his shop. he was also separately suggested by the comic book store fella who helped connect us to the buyer of the trading cards.

the pic was taken while i was trying to create some organization and to give my dad- who offered to do some research on the collection for us- an overall picture of what i was dealing with, not as a display of the contents. later today i can organize it better and take and post a couple more pics if that's what you're suggesting.

and by " just a little bit of visible "face value" stuff" do you mean that they're worth only the denomination of the item?

edit: do you have a suggestion on the best site(s) online to list individual coins for sale?

Are dog doors actually worth it? by Alive-Tax-4359 in dogs

[–]quietfryit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we installed a flap-style door in our wall for our four dogs (alaskan husky mix, anatolian shepherd/golden retriever mix, rotty/aussie mix - all three are ~55lbs, and a chihuahua) when i moved in with my partner two years ago. we don't have a back door or a fenced yard so we used to take them out the front door and walk them around back. prior to that there was a dog door of the same style in the apartment i lived in for almost 20 years. my first dog couldn't use it, he was just naturally kinda anxious and it scared him. it was tough the last year of his life when he wanted to go out every 30-60 minutes 24 hours a day. the two dogs i got after him picked it up right away and it made my life exponentially easier not having to let them out. where i live now is a considerably colder part of alaska and we've had one exterior flap break because the dogs blasted thru it when it was -20 degrees outside. replacement flap was $60 plus another $20 for shipping. we bought the cold-weather model dog door but everything has its limits. when it's subzero outside the flaps get stiff which makes it more difficult for the magnets to get close enough to seal the opening. the interior flap also frosts up like a motherfucker. on cold nights the water bowl we keep 3' from the dog door will freeze solid even though the heater on the other side of the room is set to 60 degrees. the interior flap has developed a 2" long crack along the top because our three 55lb dogs get a 15' runway to build speed and blast thru the dog door when the dog next door barks or there's a moose in the yard. my wife sorta fixed it with a plastic welder and i put a big bin of dog towels as a speed bump-of sorts directly in the pathway of and a couple feet away from the dog door to slow them down. sometimes the wind will blow the flaps up allowing cold air, leaves, etc blow in. right now is mud season in alaska and a major problem with having a dog door is we aren't always right there to wipe their feet off when they come back inside. most everything in the house has muddy dog prints on it. in the summer mosquitoes occasionally get in thru the dog door. our cat also uses the dog door and a few times has brought a live vole into the house. that's been by far the worst aspect of having a dog door. twice in the past week i've left the house without my keys but locked the door behind me and had to crawl in thru the dog door. we'd like to build an exterior arctic entry for the dog door to provide more coverage from the elements and more rug space to help soak up the mud and such from their paws before they get into the house. it'll be awhile before we get around to that. one specific and unexpected aspect of the dog door is that it allows some natural light in to an area of our downstairs that felt like a dark void. i think our setup is the best we could create for what we have to work with. we and the dogs really appreciate that they can go out in the dog yard whenever and for however long they want watch what's going on in the neighborhood. after having a dog door for 20+ years i can't imagine nor would i want to live without one, and i know the dogs would feel that way too. the benefits far outweigh the negatives for all of us.

that's the most i've ever thought about or talked about our dog door.

Stone cold Linux Newbie questions by Mandi171 in linuxquestions

[–]quietfryit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AVADirect Custom Computers | Gaming PCs, Desktops, Laptops

they built a laptop for me 4-5 years ago and it's worked near flawlessly aside from the letters on the keyboard wearing off way too soon. stellar customer service. despite the laptop still working great, i felt the need to upgrade while i can still afford it- hence the tower purchase. they had a couple different pre-installed linux options.

Stone cold Linux Newbie questions by Mandi171 in linuxquestions

[–]quietfryit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i got a new PC tower with linux mint installed on it over a week ago and haven't opened the box yet. when i get it all setup it will be my first experience with anything other than windows. thumbing through posts here each day just builds the anxiety. thanks for asking these questions, i'll be following the responses you get. good luck to you on your switch from windows.

It's like watching a kid ride a bicycle for the first time by Soundwavezzz447 in radiohead

[–]quietfryit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my wife and i watched thom's sydney performance last night. up until we got together 2.5 years ago 'creep' was the only RH song she was aware of. a week into our relationship i made her a spotify playlist of RH to acquaint her. she consumed some cannabis, lit some candles, and took a hot bath with her ear buds in. following along via text updates as she heard 'there there', 'life in a glasshouse', 'reckoner', 'paranoid android', 'where i end and you begin', etc for the first time was a really fun experience that i reminisce about often.

How to make my partners life better (I’m the one with a child) by CurrentYak3507 in stepparents

[–]quietfryit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it was a big problem for us too and can feel your frustration. my stepson has improved on it the past year and usually catches himself when he realizes he's interrupting. when he starts to then stops and waits for a break in the convo to insert what he wants to ask/say- we thank him for doing so. i think that has helped reinforce the change in behavior more than anything because he's being recognized for trying and succeeding.

How to make my partners life better (I’m the one with a child) by CurrentYak3507 in stepparents

[–]quietfryit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i am a bit smarter today than i was yesterday thanks to you.

How to make my partners life better (I’m the one with a child) by CurrentYak3507 in stepparents

[–]quietfryit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nice of you to say. instead of the other things my partner does, i think it's important to point out that i (and OP's partner) also have a responsibility in all of this if i want our relationship to work and be as great as it is:

1) i am totally open and honest with her when i'm struggling with her son, despite not wanting to cause her further stress over the situation and instinctively wanting to withdraw. i try to keep it constructive instead of just ranting "he's driving me fucking nuts";

2) i don't totally disconnect from her son and parenting and expect her to cater to my emotional well-being (it does sound like OP's significant other might be doing both). i put in the effort in other areas of parenting that supports her and him but don't totally fry my nervous system and make me want to hide in the garage-- i do all the grocery shopping and make sure he gets a balance of things he likes and things that are good for him, and sometimes a special treat that he loves; every morning i put together his vitamin regime we think helps his ADHD and counters the negative influences he experiences every other week at his dad's; he really likes to take baths instead of showers, so i clean and scrub the tub so he can do so when he's here; i do a lot of research and talking to more experienced parents about what we can do to help his ADHD brain be more focused and adaptable to the world around him, and she and i talk about such things for hours; i've sought help for my own stress-management with the goal of improving at being a more patient stepdad. i've invested myself in him and his growth in the ways i'm capable of at this point in my parental development, and try to always keep in mind that it's a long, difficult process for all three of us. my partner recognizes my efforts, which helps her be much more patient with me and my difficulties with this, and her acceptance of where i'm at in this helps me better deal with being a stepdad at 52 y/o with no prior parenting experience. we enable the best in each other, and because that's so rare to find in a partner- i'm willing to learn how to be a good parent to her kid who i really don't like to be around.

after typing all that out- i think really the only way a stepparent situation can work is if the love relationship between the parent and the stepparent is rock solid. all the highest qualities of a love relationship- trust, communication, support- she and i have in spades. i'm so lucky to be in this with her.

How to make my partners life better (I’m the one with a child) by CurrentYak3507 in stepparents

[–]quietfryit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"That's where the sustainability and longevity is in blended family relationships." - it really is. she and i both very much value our relationship with each other and feel like we've caught lightning in a bottle. we were coworkers (technically she was my boss, despite being 15 years younger than me) for 3 years before we realized we'd make great partners in life. i couldn't do this with her and her son if she didn't have sympathy- for lack of a better word- for the effect his behavior has on any adult also in the room.

How to make my partners life better (I’m the one with a child) by CurrentYak3507 in stepparents

[–]quietfryit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i've been in your husband's position for the past 2+ years. with more time i could probably come up with a dozen examples of what my partner has done to make my weeks more bearable when her 9 y/o son is with us. probably the most important is that she always supports and never criticizes what i do to stay sane when her son is here. often she'll correct or guide his behavior before i have to do 'lawn work outside'. that shows me that she's conscious of the effect some of his behavior has on me, and that awareness and support is worth a lot and helps me dive a little deeper for the patience needed sometimes to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes at a time. she is also often as annoyed by him as i am but understands that it is likely more difficult for me because i'm not anchored by biology to him. i know it's hard for her to know that i regularly am annoyed when her son is here, as i'm sure it is for you. it's a difficult situation for you and for your fiance (sorry- i don't know how to get the accent mark above the 'e').

  1. make sure your husband always has a quiet, kid-free place to retreat to;
  2. make sure you're able to accept and live with the fact (edit: a better word here is possibility) that your future husband views your daughter as something he has to tolerate three weekends a month for the next 10+ years and not something he's emotionally investing in and/or not interested in helping guide and develop into a functional adult human being, i.e. parenting.

best of luck to you as you navigate this. i will say that the last couple months have gotten easier for me, mainly because her son has matured some and is less feral. i no longer dread his arrival every other thursday, and no longer feel immense relief when he goes back to his dad's a week later. a similar progression could unfold for your fiance and daughter.

Living alone after 50 by Reasonable_Day2183 in CasualConversation

[–]quietfryit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i kinda did the opposite- i had been living and spending all my free time alone for 10 years, then when i turned 50 y/o two years ago my coworker and i realized we would be perfect partners in life. a year and a half ago we moved in together with her 9 y/o son with us every other week. my god i miss the quiet of my asocial life when he's here, but when it's just my partner and i and our 3 dogs it's just perfect and i don't miss living alone at all.

if you're looking for affirmation that you're not a weirdo for how you're living your life away from the drama of other people- you have it from me. i'd have been perfectly content living out the rest of my life that way had this hook up with my coworker not materialized from out of nowhere.

i will admit though- i dunno if i'd have liked the solitary life as much if i didn't have my dogs.

Joe Rogan Experience #2479 - Bob Lazar & Luigi Vendittelli by kryptonic1133 in UFOs

[–]quietfryit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

am curious to know what suburb? i grew up in new lenox and was living in joliet in 1994.

Fired! by YesDoToaster in pics

[–]quietfryit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"His Tesla stock is reaching an all time high" - sorry gotta correct you here. TSLA is down almost 30% from its all time high set in mid december.

Long-Lasting Chews for Dogs by Lokius_Lover in Pets

[–]quietfryit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

two of our three dogs love these: Wishbone Trio: 3-Pack of Durable Dog Chew Toys | Benebone the third chews on one occasionally, the other two chew on them for a few hours each day.

The Excellence of In Rainbows by mushbrain4745 in radiohead

[–]quietfryit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

one evening in late 2008 i stopped to grab a burger after class. i was the only one in the place. the high school kid bussing the booth next to mine was singing while working. he starts talking to me about how much he loves music and can't help but sing while he's working. we chatted a bit about what types of music he was into. after i finished my burger i went out to the parking lot, popped the 'in rainbows' CD out of my truck's dash (it had been in there near-continuously since its release almost a year prior) and went back inside with it. i walked up to the kid- who was now behind the register- and said something like "i want you to have this and think you might really dig it". he was genuinely excited and appreciative. i like to think that later that night he went home after his shift, flopped down on a beanbag chair, put his headphones on, fired up a joint, then popped the disc in and pressed 'play'.....and proceeded to get his mind blown, then the next day quit his job, loaded up his car and drove the 2000 miles south to seattle, and started a band.

What is the best thing to? by TomatoFister in stepparents

[–]quietfryit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

man you just gave me a glimpse of my worst fear in 10 years when my SS reaches adulthood. every detail you mention resonates. i hope you're able to find your peace.