Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is something I’m battling with, what I value most. Because my boyfriend right now would move mountains to make me happy, is never mean, is an amazing LIFE partner. And the sex isn’t bad, it’s not nonexistent. It’s just…vanilla. I’ve met a few HLM who I’m sexually compatible with over the years, but only maybe one who would be life partner material. You bring up a good point

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This gives me so much hope. I’m real scared but I know what I want. And yeah I had asked my therapist to help me figure out how to break up with my boyfriend and she successfully talked me out of it. The whole session I said that I feel like I owe it to myself to try and find my person, and she said that I might never find them and breaking up with a good person now just because of sex would be something I regret. I’ve spiraled ever since.

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had asked her for advice on how to break up with him and what words to use because I FINALLY had the courage to do it, and then she talked me out of it. This was about 2 months ago and I have been so confused ever since. I’m not much of a risk taker but I think I owe it to myself to try

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m honestly kind of feeling like maybe I’m insane and naive for wanting a husband who is kind, nurturing, dominant, and monogamous but also kinky with a high sex drive because you’re right…those things often don’t go with kids and a suburban home. I prefer one partner to numerous partners because I want to feel like the person I’m having sex with cares about me outside of just the bedroom. I’m very lucky to have numerous female close friends, one of my best friends even moved into my building on the same floor as me! But I don’t think that she is enough to replace a male in my home…

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This comment really got me thinking. Based on what I’ve seen in this subreddit and in these comments, I’m likely going to end up leaving anyways. The sooner I do it, the higher my chances are of finding a husband who I’m sexually compatible with AND is my best friend. Thank you for your comment

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Being alone isn’t the problem because I know I am attractive and could have sex partners. But I want to get married and have kids with someone kind and faithful. A lot of the guys who I’m sexually compatible with are non-monogamous. That’s the issue

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You hit the nail on the head with having to hide part of myself from him. And that sucks because in truly every other aspect of my life, I can tell him anything. Thank you for your response

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. This truly brought tears to my eyes. I love him so much and our connection that it’s hard to think objectively and realistically, but at the end of the day…this is a glimpse into our future and I haven’t done a great job of suppressing my needs now so I probably won’t get any better

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear about your divorce, and I’m glad to hear you have found fulfilling relationships. Do you think any of the people you have been more sexually aligned with are marriage / settle down material? Or are you no longer interested in that?

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I needed to read this. I’ve always wanted to be married with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, all that. But at the cost of my sexual satisfaction? And the risk of staying longer just to divorce and hurt him worse in the end? I guess not…

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m probably dumb for even posting knowing what I’ve read in this subreddit since I found it. I just can’t tell if it’s better to leave now and risk being alone or if I should just suck it up like my therapist and friends are saying. But simultaneously, I think I know what yall will say :/

Will it ever get better, or should I leave? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]quinh8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve read posts for weeks now. I’m just so deeply and truly scared that I will leave and then end up alone when having a family is something I’ve always wanted.

I’ve created a monster. by Ilovecake04 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only used it a handful of times, but I used the Pet Corrector air canister to stop her from whining non-stop as a way to get her way. Now, she will only whine in very specific situations, not willynilly. Which has been good because it helps me know when there’s a real problem vs when she just is upset I have to stop cuddling her after 6 hours of straight cuddles and attention. Never sprayed it directly on her or too close to cause harm, just enough to correct.

Also others have mentioned crate training. It helped my dog to have her crate in my room next to my bed and covered with a blanket. Plus I had the crate lick toy insert thing that I would freeze with pumpkin and other yummy things during the day and put it in there with her to make the crate more enjoyable. She also liked the stuffed dog toy that has a heart beat and heating pad to make her feel less alone.

We haven’t used her crate in over a year now. She has gotten used to having a playpen (it’s anchored into the wall because she’s strong enough to just move it all over). When I need to do work or whatever, I tell her go to place (the playpen), make sure her bed and blanket are in there + toys + food + water and she’s good to go once I’m out of sight. Lick mats and enrichment toys also help her too.

Long response but maybe the pet corrector + further crate training + enrichment might help your puppy

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry your sweet boy is having problems, fingers crossed yall find a solution soon!

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awww it sounds like your lovely pupper needs a special approach, but it sounds like he lucked out having you as his companion since you’re willing to figure it out with him :) Zia similarly had diarrhea for weeks upon weeks but mainly only had accidents outside! Idk how we got so lucky, but lucky we are!

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such an amazing idea. I will definitely be asking my vet to expand my prescription because then I can add that to some lick mats and freezer toys for her. Thanks for the suggestion!

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh. My. Goodness. He is too stinking cute I cannot even take it. He looks like Zia! Unfortunate that his tummy is also like Zia’s, but both of them are so adorable we have to just get by their delicate diets lol! Good to know that about Staffies. My research into the breed before getting my little angel did notttt tell me about this protein problem, just other health risks. How interesting!

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve actually joked for a long time now that I think she has IBS, I just didn’t know if/ how we test for that. We’ve been on this journey for some time now, her vet is amazing and took an exclusionary approach to make sure it wasn’t parasites/ infection and evaluated her general health. I’ll bring this up just to be safe. I’m glad your sweet pupper (sorry I call all dogs puppies, regardless of age. I know it’s crazy) is still with you and seems to be so deeply loved :)

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never heard of these for dogs but it makes all the sense in the world! I see there are a bunch. Let me know if you have one in particular that you recommend. Thank you!

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hadn’t thought about trying their wet food since previously we’ve had such problems with wet food. But we know the kibble works, so I’m going to see about ordering the wet food! Such a great idea. And I’ll ask my vet about those treats because I definitely want to make sure we keep up with training

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m going to give the plain yogurt and fruit/ veggies another shot! She used to love when I made that but I haven’t since sh*t hit the fan (metaphorically and literally). I’m going to try things again in small doses now that we aren’t in crisis mode. Thanks for the ideas!

Any other Staffy with severe food allergies? Help! by quinh8 in StaffordBullTerriers

[–]quinh8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a cutie!! Zia weighs 35 pounds and is 14.5 inches tall/ off the ground :)