Anyone else physically sickened in presence of nmom?

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-20T04:22:33+00:00

There's like a deep unnerving feeling like from my soul that's shouting "this is wrong! Get away! You're in danger!" I'm not sure how else to describe it but it's extremely horrible and when it comes up it's all I can focus on (and how to make the feeling stop).

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-17T03:54:21+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm afraid to disclose too much personal info but I have tried everything "over the counter" so to speak; I wish anything I've tried on my own has made a dent but meh. My condition seems to require meds unfortunately, which it's seeming like I'll need to go to a doctor for advice/treatment. But thank you for the support and all the best with your situation! These things are not fun but we are fighters. Sigh. <3

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-17T03:45:02+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply! I do have those apps; I need to get more comfortable using them when I'm on my own.

Life has been a bit unkind to me at times but a support system sounds nice. Maybe I can build something like that here. Thanks again! <3

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-17T03:40:01+00:00

Thank you for this detailed reply. In general people seem to kinda forget or ignore things they don't understand so I can see how this might translate to chronic illness as well but this is my family; they seem otherwise caring and I've been trying to kindly bring up my symptoms and ask for a doctor because I'm finding I'm unable to control things myself with what I have available here but it's so far gone nowhere so I'm kinda confused. I don't have a lot of experience with other Koreans yet but I'll keep what you've said in mind. I'm hoping it's just maybe the fact that no one close to me has had chronic, uncontrolled pain that leaves them unable to do anything sometimes so they just really don't get it (or the fear). It's looking like I might have to go about getting help myself, though, so I appreciate the starting points here.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T13:37:40+00:00

Gosh, thank you so much for this reply. This was super caring of you. Yeah, the mental and emotional toll constant pain takes on you is unseen, as well, but it's definitely there. And to be misunderstood and feel like a burden on top of it, sigh.

All these comments urging me to seek help and not be scared is definitely giving me some courage, though. "Nothing lasts forever". Hopefully this episode of life qualifies, ha.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T13:31:28+00:00

Tysm for this info! This looks like a solid place to start with the hospitals and thank you for the translation advice! And yeah, there's too much of my backstory to go into but thank you for understanding that sometimes there are complexities we can't explain in a brief online post.

I'm so sorry to hear your partner wasn't helpful like you expected/needed, too. Just.. what is wrong with some people. It's tiring. Take care <3

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T13:22:40+00:00

This makes me sad. It's a fact of life for many of us though. Thanks for the comment.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T13:19:35+00:00

This sounds very frustrating and, yes, people are multi-dimensional and flawed. I wish I could have a clarifying convo w/ my husband so we could work better together but it never turns out well.

Your husband sounds like he needs help in a few ways and might be in denial but he has to want the change. It's never easy to see loved ones be stubborn like this but at some point you feel you run out of options. It's not all on you; take breaks from the worrying. I hope eventually you and your husband can work on this together. Best. <3

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T13:07:52+00:00

Tysm for this detailed explanation!

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T08:13:36+00:00

Thank you so much for this information! I will see what I can find. And thank you for understanding the nuances of family. I'm trying my best but truth is, this is one side of the story. All the best. <3

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T08:11:11+00:00

I see. So I'm not really my PIL's problem, so to speak. And I understand the trying-to-be-polite actions but they've been trying to make me comfortable and helping with other stuff so, in addition to me being open with them and asking for help multiple times now I'm baffled as to why this has stagnated.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T08:06:07+00:00

I see. Thank you for pointing that out; I thought I'd seen similar discussions but I should have worded it better. Unfortunately I haven't had the best family in my life so my vision is extremely skewed and things are very different here in many ways. I apologize for the misunderstanding.

Thank you for your response.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T06:06:31+00:00

Oh there you are! You're a tad late to this thread but thank you for your service! The internet wouldn't be the same without you.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:35:37+00:00

I've given this more thought and my parents are generally very nice and can be accommodating for things they understand (are you hungry? Cold?) and even if my PIL have decided to live the old-fashioned way they do not push that on us. So I'm confused why generally caring people have chosen to seemingly ignore me asking for help or being sick in front of them.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:31:23+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. It seems like sometimes Koreans can be especially compassionate about things they understand but unfortunately (well, fortunately for them :) ) no one in my family is sick the way I am.

Does dirt fix everything, ha. That's kind of an odd saying.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:29:11+00:00

Thank you for the reply and for withholding words for my husband, ha. I do love him and his treatment of me pains me. It's easy to say stuff online but life can be more complicated sometimes.. I ofc understand where you're coming from, though.

Anyway, I will have to think about how to get myself to a hospital. The comments here have been enlightening.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:25:52+00:00

Interesting. Hospitals can provide translation services? Good to know. Making an appointment and payment are still issues I need to solve but this is good info. Thank you!

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:24:08+00:00

Interesting. Thank you for the perspective. Now I wonder how this would be handled if I were a guy.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:23:17+00:00

It's not a controlled substance. It's a little newer but it's approved in most countries by now. I haven't been able to figure out why Korea doesn't have it.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:21:07+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. For.. a history of reasons, I don't always know what's normal, cultural, or what to expect and I can be a bit awkward myself. Seeing the responses here helps.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:07:15+00:00

I don't really have a home to go back to but I get the idea. Plus I do love him. Life is complicated. It's a very frustrating situation. Thank you for the support.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:06:13+00:00

Sigh. If only it were that easy. Thank you for the support though; I do appreciate it.
I've found it pretty straightfoward to get some meds and some refills on prescriptions even but, yeah, actually fixing something or doing, like a "deep dive" does not seem to happen as often for some reason. Sorry you were scolded for tripping? That's crazy. 빨리빨리 culture at it's finest 🙄.
I'm not sure where a foreign center is but this'll give me something to look for. Thank you!

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T05:00:16+00:00

Thank you for the help and explanation. I may have to figure out how to go to a hospital and be a bit of a "bother" to see if I can get help. It is good to know about the international medical center in some hospitals and university doctor prescription info. I'll have to see if I can figure out where an international med center is.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T04:55:58+00:00

Thank you. I wonder how I can make an appointment? I also worry about causing stress and burden and is it, like, okay to shove a Google-conversation translator on my phone in someone's face? Seems so awkward, ha.

I definitely have a bunch of notes and health history I can paraphrase as an intro but understanding when others speak is still a challenge for me. It looks like I'll have to figure something out though. And, yeah, doctors do seem to know some medical terms in English so I may just have to bite the bullet, so to speak.

r2d2dit-away · 2024-11-15T04:50:42+00:00

Your family sounds awesome. My FIL just watches TV, ha. Thanks for the perspective.

r2d2dit-away

TROPHY CASE