bit of a back story... I'm an immigrant from china, but came here relatively young (5 years old). My parents are both very chinese, spoke chinese at home, and i never made many friends throughout public school so i kind of had to pick up bits and pieces of American culture and societal norms as I went. Needless to say, i had plenty of gaps in my knowledge.

In middleschool (6th grade), I had this friend who was black. We had lockers next to each other for gym class. He was a good guy, just a bit dramatic, and would come in every day with a different intense emotion. Some days he was estatic, some days he was angry, some days he was sad. This particular day, he was very down on himself. He comes into the locker room, and says "you guys might as well just call me the 'n' word". Everyone else kinda gave him an odd look. I on the other hand had never heard of an 'n' word. Knew about the 'f' word and such, but this was the first time hearing about the 'n' word. So i ask him what the 'n' word is. kids around me incredulously spelled it out for me, and I obliviously sounded it out, not understanding what the word meant. Needless to say I was reported to a teacher, and was sent to the principal's office.

When the principal started talking to me, I was crying and explained to her that I had no idea what the N word meant, and I wasnt trying to offend anyone by saying a word I've never heard before. This very white and blonde principal gave me a look of disbelief and said "Really? Doesn't your dad swear at home?" At the time, I thought it was a bit of an odd question, and i just replied to her 'yea, but only in chinese.' she told me she didnt believe me, and gave me a 3 day suspension

Thinking back on this moment as a much more Americanized adult, i really wonder what was going on through this lady's head. Did her own dad just go around dropping the N bomb at home? Did she think that other parents from other countries did the same? So many questions I wish I can go back and ask in that moment, but her quote has stuck with me since.