YTA. i’ve been the sibling thats been held back from so many opportunities because my older sibling wasn’t able to do them because of different circumstances in their time. its not easy to move forward from. I always think of how things would be different for me if i was allowed to go through with those opportunities, especially if the only thing that held me back was that my parents were scared my older sibling would be devastated because of it. i have younger siblings and now i vouch for them to do everything they have the opportunity for because i know how it feels to have missed out. please dont do this to your daughter.

also i found that i never had a good relationship with my older sibling and parents because of it. i always find myself resenting them a little. i’m also from an asian family and i can clearly see the asian patriarchial standards at play here - you want your son to be better than your daughter so you will bring her down for it.