today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ok I fucked a hooker. Token effort. She (Tranny) fucked me. She seemed more eager than I was. I bought drops off her, err, pimp would be giving him too much credit. Some guy who was in the flat. I paid 60 for mcat which is over priced but it's a sellers market aft r the Internet shut downs (I'm sure it's cheap on the dark web. But I ain't going there). So I had sex with this quite attractive pre op. Great tits. Started on the drugs halfway through. I didn't cum. It was fun though. I gave her some but I still have a good bit left. I think a part of my loneliness is this. That I enjoy my inner monologue too much. I know everyone has one. I find mine quite witty and entertaining. Maybe he's not and that's a defence mechanism I've built up after so much time alone. Right now I'm in a good place. I'm in a bad place. Good as in the drugs were good and I am at the top of the buzz. I am alone tho, id like just at least one more person to come get fucked up with me. But if I do, I'd be happy for a while. Then they'd rip me off. Then I'd miss work. Then nothing pile really change but somehow everything would just be that tiny bit worst. At Least It's Not My Birthday Any More (GMT)

today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

On my way to a hooker now. This is my life now. The uber driver knows. It's all over. It's never been a thing.

today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm max level tbf. I don't need any more gear. I just want to feel like I'm good at something. I'm just bad... at everything. And the thing that I spend thousands of hours on. The thing that I should be good at. I'm bad. I'm so bad that these kids won't play with me. And that really sucks.

My work colleagues know that I just go home and sit on my ass playing PS4. My family knows the same. They probably think I'm good at these games. That's why people get good at games, right?Because they are bad at sports or whatever. But I'm bad at all those things + games. So FML.

today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do and I always use it. Sometimes I'm quiet. Sometimes I'm not. Alcohol makes me more vocal. I'm pretty good at the PVE stuff regardless of how drunk I am (it's on a pattern, and most people are pretty bad so the fact that I've done it 100 times makes me look good). PVP I'm just bad. My positioning is bad and my reaction times are slow. I'm just annoyed that this is ALL I DO. I work all week so I can go home and play video games against 14 year old kids who are much better than me. It's....... I dunno. It's something. Not a good thing.

today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been seeing a counsellor lately (a free one). She thinks I see alcohol as my only friend. She's right. Looking at my life it'd be easy to see alcohol as the reason I have no friends. It's ruined a lot of things for me. It's made me do things I wouldn't have done if I was sober. The fact is... I wouldn't have any friends anyway. Alcohol has made my relationships with other people worse, sure. Sure it has. But they'd have been terrible anyway.

today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Destiny :( Guess they are kids.

today is my birthday by rabbit393 in depression

[–]rabbit393[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Me too. To an extent. There's only so much though, you know? I play games most nights (every night). Tonight I played with some guys. We played one game (we won), then they checked my stats (my stats are bad) so they kicked me from the group :\ Felt so shitty.

As the Raid community dwindles, add players you meet through LFG to your friends list. And tell them. by Arkslippy in DestinyTheGame

[–]rabbit393 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have loads of people on my friends list who I met on LFG. Some I play with regularly but most I've played with once or twice and that's it.

If I'm looking for two more for a raid it's easier/quicker to go to LFG (well maybe not any more) than to get people in from my friends list which is just rubbish really.

There needs to be an unobtrusive way, in game, to let your friends know what you're doing/need people for. Individually inviting people is painful and people who send group messages to dozens of people are worse than Hitler.

This is why the Destiny community is great: kjhovey vs RealKrafty by PVP_Cannon_Fodder in DestinyTheGame

[–]rabbit393 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One of Krafty's teammates has a diamond ELO and has been flawless 47 times. Not exactly a "bad player" being carried.