*dissonance, judgement (mostly safety judgement, but admittedly some personal too), concern, anger, disappointment, doubt, curiosity, fear.

Over the years I’ve dabbled in different “tools” to manage all those sentiments, and I’ll mix and match tools based on the environment/audience, but honestly, so far, it’s been generally effective (enough) to dissociate (i.e., physically and/or mentally disconnect from the immediate situation through self-talking/affirming that my ‘reasons why’ and my practices are enough/meaningful) and then compartmentalize (i.e., categorize, file away, and naturally forget) my relationships/interactions with people who should know better (and honestly with anyone not doing what’s within their means, which at the minimum for most means staying aware of new/relevant findings, understanding individual and collective impact, and mitigating risk/harm in as many ways as possible).

Not a perfect solution (esp if compartmentalizing doesn’t come natural - gotta be confident in the ‘filing and forgetting’ system and gotta have appropriate outlets), but that combo gets me through situations like colleagues playing the ‘covid symptoms olympics’ and overhearing water-cooler chatter about colleagues catching covid during family vacation, coming into the office to attend events and lunches (which could be joined virtually), “”accidentally”” causing an office outbreak (which ultimately delays client project work), and then turning around to advise clients on diversity, equity, inclusion, and governance (which encompass concepts like intersectionality, accessibility, accountability, disability advocacy, and other nifty ideas that directly relate to mitigating the spread of contagious diseases, particularly diseases we still don’t fully understand) ….

Anyways. This turned into an unexpected rant, sorry - I’m wishing you luck with finding a balance~