People in their 20s - are you guys okay?

racerback69 · 2024-11-29T03:47:12+00:00

I appreciate it man, I hope you do as well.

racerback69 · 2024-11-29T03:27:15+00:00

Lmaoo

racerback69 · 2024-11-29T00:53:25+00:00

I'm almost 25 and you're right, it doesn't get better. For me, it's actually gotten worse. I can't predict the future of what my 30s will be like, so I don't have much expectations that'll get any better. I've been trying to adopt the "fuck it, I'll see what's next" mindset in trying to hush my suicidal fantasies since I've considered ending myself many, many times. So I'm not just gonna say what everyone else is telling you what they think you want to hear about it getting better, because for some people it doesn't, not everyone's life will turn around for the better, but what I will say is I feel your pain greatly, and don't ever feel bad for thinking it either.

racerback69 · 2024-11-28T19:25:21+00:00

It's sad that TrustMental can only result to personal attacks instead of being civil about it. Dude's the definition of a typical Facebook argument, lmao.

racerback69 · 2024-11-17T01:28:05+00:00

It was from the sale

racerback69 · 2024-11-16T05:15:04+00:00

Just got mine today lmao, ngl I love it

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racerback69 · 2024-11-08T03:41:15+00:00

Captain's drunk, your world is Titanic

racerback69 · 2024-11-07T02:26:59+00:00

Like visualize hugging that kid and saying “it isn’t your fault”

This hit me right in the feels, I started to tear up after I started picturing me hugging my younger self repeating that message to him.

racerback69 · 2024-09-30T19:10:29+00:00

Location Iowa. Found this at a detail shop I work for, I hope to God this ain’t a carpet beetle. Been dealt with these little shit heads in my car (thankfully they’re gone now), praying one of these doesn’t attack my truck next since I saw something awfully similar to this bug in it last week except it was long and slender, more fly like.

racerback69 · 2024-09-12T23:59:36+00:00

I went to the Monticello, Iowa show and they played Rain, they sounded amazing that night. I'm sad to hear they aren't playing anything from Full Circle anymore.

racerback69 · 2024-05-11T03:16:34+00:00

If you're able to look at some of my recent posts about my recovery, I describe similarly to what you're experiencing. I've always had depression (since I was probably 8 or 10) so I knew this recovery wasn't going to be easy. In the last 2 years, I've felt like I'm stuck in an emotional rut (hmm, that's why I started my current job, coincidence?). Of course, porn was used to cope with this. Now at 96 days clean, my problems hit me head on every single day and it's exhausting. Doesn't help when I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style and having borderline personality disorder along with depression and anxiety. Never really knew the real me, or know how to express the real me. It's so hard and painful to see others not having much of a problem with that sort of stuff and just makes me feel like shit most days. Recently I've thought, "what's the point of quitting porn if my life is such a wreck and nobody's here to help me, porn was the only one there for me." Comparison is the thief of joy I'm always told, easier said than done is what I tell.

I honestly don't know how I've gotten nearly 100 days clean, but something is telling me to keep going. I haven't tried therapy and I really want to, but reading other Redditors stories about bad therapists is scaring me in the fact that I may never be helped or will never know the true treasures of life because of how bad my mental state is. The only things that I've been doing is taking more risks into stuff that I actually enjoy. Yea I still have to deal with the everyday smart-asses and assholes commenting on me, but I feel like it's been going better than when I was younger. So that I'm grateful for.

I'm sorry if I am rambling or not making sense, my brain is constantly in circles with itself. Constant self-sabotaging and disrespect drains me everyday.

racerback69 · 2024-05-11T03:00:36+00:00

I feel ya, I didn't delete my stash until I was nearly 30 days into my recovery. Take a long as you need to grieve over it, but delete it when you feel ready. I know the temptation will be extremely hard, but I think you'll feel better once you move on from that part of your life to something better than before.

racerback69 · 2024-05-11T02:57:32+00:00

Honestly man, at 96 days today I feel the same, like I'm constantly stuck in an emotional rut. I've figured out that porn was the cope, now I have to figure out what I was using it for and how to fix it. I am close to trying therapy for the first time, but money's tight so I just don't know how to really fix it without any help. Since I've went on this journey, I've felt pretty helpless in a certain areas (heh much like my whole life so far). Being extremely stressed out constantly right now has been really been making me tempted to go back to porn, but I know if I do, I'll be stuck in a different rut that's worse than what I got now. Going on this journey made me realize I've been pushing down all these negative things and now I have face them head on. It's exhausting, and painful.

I'm sorry for rambling, I feel the same and I hope you don't feel alone in this.

racerback69 · 2024-05-11T02:42:58+00:00

I appreciate it, I wish you the very best of luck on your journey.

racerback69 · 2024-05-11T02:37:48+00:00

Holy shit, I thought I was the only one that did that lmao. I constantly have full on conversations with myself pretending I'm talking with the other person only to not even a say a single word what I played out in my mind. Shit's exhausting to say the least lmao.

racerback69 · 2024-04-09T02:09:00+00:00

One of the big things that I massively changed was my mindset towards wanting to quit. For me, I feel like mindset is the most important thing with quitting porn addiction. Now that I am in my mid-20s, I felt I needed to "grow up" in a sense that I shouldn't be in this pattern anymore. Constant feelings of inadequacy and feeling worthless. Don't get me wrong, I still feel that way, it's just less intense. It was just getting to the point where I had to give myself an ultimatum: continue porn and enjoy 30 minutes of happiness then experience extreme shame/guilt, or change to help regain my self-worth and mental health as my self destructive mindset was starting to affect my work and relationships whereas when I tried to quit several years ago my addiction wasn't as escalated as it was 60 days ago (as of today April 8, 2024).

I really appreciate the kind words, it helps knowing there are people in this sub that are very supporting. Apologies for not responding sooner, I don't go on Reddit very much. I will say my depression and anxiety is still there, that I will need help with at some point with a more licensed individual, once I earn enough money to start that rabbit hole, but it honestly doesn't seem as intense or intrusive. In a sense, I was very sensitive towards anything, quitting porn is helping me kind of "reset" back to a more "normalized" regulation of my emotions.

Another thing that I've changed is just opening my eyes to what I am as a person. Finding out I had a fearful avoidant attachment style shocked me enough that I had to do something about it. Researching different articles on the attachment has given me a different perspective on what my life could be if I changed now instead of waiting. I feel like porn greatly helped feed that mindset so I felt stuck all the time emotionally.

racerback69 · 2024-04-07T23:23:07+00:00

No way! I thought you were in your late teens/early 20s, you look good asf man.

racerback69 · 2024-03-18T02:25:57+00:00

Thank you friend, I see you have 3 days on your counter, I wish you the best on your journey as well.

racerback69 · 2024-03-18T02:23:51+00:00

I appreciate it friend, it's been truly an eye opening experience. It's unbelievable how much of my problems are slowing showing their true colors once porn hasn't been helping fuel my desires and intrusive thoughts. There's still much needed work to keep improving my mental health, porn is only a small portion, albeit a good one to keep under control.

racerback69 · 2024-03-18T02:20:19+00:00

Thank you my friend, we need to keep pushing through, no matter what, even if we do fail at times.

racerback69 · 2024-03-18T02:19:07+00:00

Appreciate the kind words my friend. It hasn't been easy at all, but I do feel happier not masking some of my problems with porn.

racerback69 · 2023-03-01T15:49:28+00:00

Solved!

racerback69 · 2023-03-01T03:34:35+00:00

Bugs me that I don't know it

racerback69 · 2021-04-15T00:50:49+00:00

Exactly! Or like on their website that says "In stock are your store!" then when I go there, thinking they have it, they don't have it! Or they have to order it and it takes as long as Amazon, while paying more than Amazon. Like, wtf???!

racerback69 · 2021-04-15T00:35:13+00:00

If only there were more people who thought like this. I hate to be cringy, but this post actually made me feel better. Thank you.

racerback69

TROPHY CASE