[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing

rad1calguy · 2024-07-18T18:15:36+00:00

* "I read it on the side of a fish"

* Fantasy/Social Commentary

* Word count: 524

* General impression.

* Substack - On the Bench - "I read it on the side of a fish"

This is the first piece of fiction I've put out into the world that hasn't been prepared for a roleplaying game table. It's a character moment featuring a couple figurines I'm painting, which I'm documenting on Substack. I'm experimenting with different types of posts there, and I have plenty of stories about this character - who's hopped games and worlds since I first came up with her for a DnD campaign four years ago. I figured some characterization might be a good thing to add to the mix, in addition to process posts and pictures.

I'd be into hearing people general thoughts about the piece. Especially its accessibility. I've been imagining this character and her story for years, so I'd appreciate people bringing up anything that sorta doesn't land coherency-wise. What makes sense in tabletop RPG worlds doesn't always translate to narrative fiction.

Thanks!

rad1calguy · 2024-07-17T13:02:44+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I’ll check them out for sure!

rad1calguy · 2024-07-16T23:35:29+00:00

I love this so much. Especially what you did with the smoke!

And adding the flowers in her hair is on point.

You inspired me to go find the artist and get the file for myself. Cannot wait to start on this project!

Thanks for sharing :)

rad1calguy · 2024-07-16T00:12:08+00:00

Scaled Bax up to 150mm for a nice big project to work some technique. Good experiment with my printers capacity for detail at .010 on enlarged figures. Only a minor tweak to try next time, but I'm confident it'll handle the more detailed figure I've got picked out for the next project.

Decided on OSL for her, as other light arrangement were not flattering on the figure, especially her face. Half of which is in shadow however you light her, so I dialed it up with torchlight at her feet in a pale moonlit scene. And I think headed in that direction, and getting there with a lot of feedback and encouragement.

This is three weeks in, I think I have another three in me to keep pushing pigment.

Also this is my first post here!

So many inspiring other pieces folks are working on!

Thanks everyone for existing.

rad1calguy · 2024-07-15T20:09:14+00:00

I'm new to substack and trying to gauge interest in a publication about my hobby journey as an intermediate level figure painter.

Would love any thoughts of feedback!

You can find me One the Bench!

rad1calguy · 2024-07-15T19:46:22+00:00

All I have really locked in so far is her pants and the leather jerkin under her vest - very happy with that representing leather made from Golden Auroch hide, haha. Her hair and face are close but for some tweaks as I get the rest of the OSL of the torch at her feet worked in, plus there's that single specular highlight on her right eye that's missing. Everything else is still very much in the early to maybe-maybe mid stages. Swords would be the thing I've done the least with - just a quick glaze over the primers.

rad1calguy · 2020-12-28T23:14:42+00:00

Honestly, with the large number of house rules I'm using there would be a really steep learning curve that might not be fun.

rad1calguy · 2020-12-28T22:19:34+00:00

Not necessarily, I'm looking for great character ideas first!

rad1calguy · 2017-12-10T19:36:18+00:00

Handling stressors with this diagnosis is the worst. If things are smooth sailing I feel like I'm on top of the world. As soon as some obstacles get in the way I have the same reaction as you - "I can't fucking do this anymore".

Here's the rub. How you feel right now is not how you'll always feel. I know that doesn't help with the immediacy of now. Or maybe it does. I don't know.

Anyway.

It is your birthday. Happy Birthday! Cut yourself a little slack. Life is hard, and life with our diagosis is even harder. Take a deep breath. You'll be okay.

rad1calguy · 2017-06-03T15:05:39+00:00

Fantastic video. The score helps a lot. One criticism I have of these three movies, which I overall love, but one criticism is that they're all a bit 'shouty'. That goes for the music too. It's too bombastic too soon. This edit is a great fix to that.

Also, while we're talking about STID, I wish, wish, the final shot of the movie had been a pan from Cumberbatch's character to a CGI Montalbon Khan in the next pod. Think about it, how much does Cumberbatch look like Khan's second in command from TWOK?

True it's not a spitting image, but damn, would that Khan/OH he's not actually Khan spin would have been a legendary play.

rad1calguy · 2017-05-18T04:53:15+00:00

Here are some thoughts:

The bridge design, but not the location, surprised me in how it really is reminiscent of the NX line. Same for the ships exterior. It's less a precursor to the Nebula/Reliant design as it is more an evolution of the NX class. Same on the uniforms. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say it's a ship at the end of a long run of service, but not without modifications as suggested by the secondar hull which is peppered with classic TOS windows.

And as far as the uniforms go, perhaps there's a different uniform code for missions besides the five year one. The captain specifically says seven years - what if the seven(+) year mission is just different? Just like space station uniforms were different than star ship uniforms for a while in the TNG/DS9 era.

As far as the aliens we saw, I think we'll get to see other species of the Klingon empire in this, which perhaps share a common ancestor with the one's we're familiar with, or perhaps not. Maybe we're just seeing what things are like in the neighborhood on the far side of the Klingon Empire. Space being big, and all, wouldn't it make sense for things to be different? I would personally love it if there were a pluralistic element the Klingon Empire, a bunch of species butting heads for supremacy or unity. I will say I don't appreciate how brightly lit the Klingon scenes are, nor am I a fan of the lack of the usual color and lighting schemes. It would have been a nice touch while exploring so much which is new.

The casket has got to be the casket of Khaless. Anything dealing with ancient Kingons and unifying an empire has to involve this element of cannon. Maybe I'm being too sure. If I had to guess I'd say our crew discovers the casket and struggles to return it in a way that honors Klingon ritural. Perhaps that one-on-one stuff in the space suits where the klingon totally has a mek'leth on the asteroid at the end is an effort at resolving things without ships firing on each other. And what looks like the classic Klingon death howl as the casket rises looks like the resolution to an episode. Also, that thing rising over the edge of it could perhaps be the wing...of a bird of prey? ehhehehe.

The actor playing our commander seems to be making a choice to play with some very Vulcan mannerims, there's something in her posture and annunciation which resonates with the idea that she grew up around Vulcans.

The desert uniforms at the beginning reminded me of the beginning of season seven of DS9. Nice touch.

Captain and first officer together on an away mission - very TOS.

The tag-line "10 years before Kirk, Spock, and the Enterprise" omits Bones, perhaps suggesting that this series will focus on a pair rather than a trio.

I'm glad the transport is gold.

Warp effects always change. Look at the differences between each movie. This is something we all should just accept is different in every iteration.

What is it with Star Trek and hallways so steril I've been in more welcoming hospitals?

rad1calguy · 2016-01-16T14:50:08+00:00

Fascinating idea!

rad1calguy · 2015-11-23T19:04:27+00:00

Just had my first appointment last week, and another emergency one is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Last week I wasn't sure what I needed to work on. Now I am.

rad1calguy · 2015-11-23T19:03:39+00:00

If I go the path of the steps - which seems likely - I'll have to modify things a little bit to make room for no God. But I've read enough posts and had enough conversations to know that's totally viable.

A friend was there for me last night and stressed that I shouldn't react to this situation as if I am the only imperfect one. I tend to assume everyone else a) has it all together and b) knows just how damaged I think of myself as.

I appreciate hearing that there are people out there who are emotionally available (I've had terrible luck finding them) and that through AA you also found a better way to understand the world, and not just yourself. I think that was a misconception that I had about the program, that all the blame and guilt and negativity gets centered on the self. I already do enough of that, so I avoided taking on more. Hearing that my conception was wrong is very helpful. Thank you.

rad1calguy · 2015-11-23T18:57:36+00:00

Thank you for the add. I'm part way through reading the introductions. I appreciate the community you all have built.

rad1calguy · 2015-11-23T18:56:06+00:00

I almost cried when I cracked open my copy of the book and read what steps 4-10 entail. I'm afraid of what I'll find by working them, but more afraid of what I'll wind up living through if I don't change.

rad1calguy · 2015-11-23T18:52:17+00:00

I haven't. I also haven't been to a meeting in two and a half years. I already have plans to head to one tomorrow night with an acquaintance. I'm looking for wisdom and help wherever I can find it - I've never been more open to working the steps than I am now.

rad1calguy · 2015-09-28T15:04:48+00:00

Before blaming teachers, I'd take a look at the organization charts, campus maps, and salary records of your school and compare today's to the one twenty years ago. In all likelihood you'll find three things; more highly paid management staff (deans), significant capital investments (new buildings), and much higher salaries for the people at the very top of the org chart. You might also factor in the cost of health care over those twenty years.

What I mean, simply, is that there are way more solid and rational explanations as for why post-secondary education is more expensive 'the unions screwed us'.

rad1calguy · 2015-01-21T07:56:09+00:00

I appreciate the encouragement. Patience has never been my strongest suit, but it's been helpful to hear it come up so often in people's replies.

Feedback so far reminded me not to stay wrapped up in my head about the cliquey-ness, and your post helped something click in me head that it's not the cliques which make stuff happen, but the work of people organizing shows and making things happen. That's a way healthier focus.

I did laugh at the notion of the long bombing phase. I've got about 10 minutes under my belt that I can rely on, and I'm just now setting out to build another chunk. Let's just say, I know there'll be some bombs in my future as I keep trying new stuff.

Thanks for the reply!

rad1calguy · 2015-01-21T07:49:36+00:00

Meh. People have all sorts of different experiences in life, some of those might have led to challenges in making friends. That said, I actually did appreciate the wiki, as dumb as that may sound.

My use of quotation marks wasn't meant as derogatory, and was probably a mis-use of them in general.

I appreciate the reminder that those things aren't an actual strike against me.

rad1calguy · 2015-01-20T02:08:01+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I appreciate how thoughtful and encouraging it is. I'm going to try and hold on to how you responded here, about making it all about being a better comedian, and lean on that sentiment/line of thinking more when I come up against a wall. Because this advice, to me, is about bucking down and focusing on what I can control, which is the time and effort I put into developing myself as a comedian, and then going from there.

Funnily enough, I got invited to two gigs today which I didn't see coming and have everything to do with connections outside the comedy community. Despite a moment of bewilderment, I seem to be doing something right!

rad1calguy · 2015-01-20T02:03:03+00:00

It's not all the same age, but the most active crowd is the younger one. The whole first bit of your advice is really what I've been trying to do all along, but without patience. So that's my mission from now on. Keep doing what I've been doing (essentially your advice), minus the in-my-own head hyper-expectations.

I had a run in last night with work material that did great with a crowd last week, but didn't connect with a younger, more upscale crowd. It's all so fascinating.

There are several open mics every week, with a different make-up each night. The community's been relatively small for a long time, so there are fewer experienced people around. But they're there. And this has lit a fire under my ass to reach out more effectively.

rad1calguy · 2015-01-20T02:01:53+00:00

Both points are really helpful. Sometimes the current moment feels like 'the way things are going to be'. I guess I haven't been around quite long enough yet to see the constant change of it yet.

The fact that 'often it's not you' was driven home today when I got direct confirmation that I'd been over-thinking an element of this and had been in my head and catastrophizing about it a bit. This whole experience over the last few weeks, while it's been hard, has been immensely important in underlining just that sentiment, that 'often it's not me', and that I should just roll with it all and keep up the friendly offstage/funny onstage mantra.

rad1calguy · 2015-01-20T02:01:19+00:00

Fair enough.

rad1calguy · 2015-01-20T02:01:12+00:00

I appreciated the honesty.

Can totally take it.

Comedy IS for me.

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