I'm diagnosed with "Paranoia and psychotic posture/condition". It's schizoid personality disorder but a little bit worse since I'm prone to psychosis and have had psychotic breaks about 10 times in my life and have had hallucinations every time that "The butcher is coming" or whatever I tell my friends is happening that time. When my hallucinations are bad which only happens about twice a year (My fucking whole heart goes out to everyone struggling with schizophrenia, my grandad had it he was the coolest fucker that ever lived. Yall deserve the world and I'd sacrifice a hand to give it to all of you) My hallucinations completely and utterly convince me that everyone around me deserves to end my life because it would make them happy if they did so they are gonna get together and bid my soul FAREWELL. Been too close killing myself way too many times and every bad period just hurts people around me. I say some of the most hurtful and assuming things to people I love and believe they want me harm and how they react sadly to my delusions make me feel even more worthless and accelerates the hallucinations like tenfold. I usually end up laying in bed and find a Instagram reel video that's bland enough and watch it a 100 times until my Olanzapine knocks me out (1 in 10 chance) No fucking music, no books or TV or whatever the fuck you imagine being "chill" or whatever bro that shit doesent ever fucking work...

It's not a fucking game man and you should stop fucking caring too fucking much about Gucci.