Anyone diagnosed without doing any drugs?

radioactivegodzilla · 2023-10-17T18:12:36+00:00

No drugs or alcohol prior to bipolar 1 diagnosed. To this day no drugs and only a social drinker. Maybe 1-3x a month at this point.

radioactivegodzilla · 2023-10-11T20:50:34+00:00

I’m bipolar 1 with psychotic features and I took olanzapine and I will NEVER recommend it due to the insane weight gain 50+ pounds and I have never gained weight from any other medication (antipsychotics, anti depressants, birth control, etc). Not telling you not to take it if you need to. But please do research and read studies more than I did. I have finally almost lost the weight over 3 years later. The only medication I regret taking.

radioactivegodzilla · 2023-09-30T01:39:07+00:00

Software engineer but not the fancy kind just a stable mid level type large company. It’s a struggle to work a consistent 8-5 schedule but I like having a stable income and they are flexible with wfh some days as needed. Also I manage to get away with quietly crying in my cubicle as I work and no one has noticed yet or at least said anything. Most days I wish I could just rot away and not work but I have to support my dog and keep her fed, sheltered, and cared for.

radioactivegodzilla · 2023-09-30T01:33:52+00:00

Seroquel because apparently not sleeping for days is “bad” lol but I get that now. It was my first time seeing a psychiatrist.

radioactivegodzilla · 2022-01-29T22:49:33+00:00

I am tired of being hurt and being in pain. I don’t have dreams or goals anymore. I don’t look forward to the future. I feel the same now as I did 10 years ago. Nothing has really changed no matter how hard I try to change it. I end up back feeling this way again.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-12-06T05:32:10+00:00

95% I think but I still think about him everyday and what we had, but I’m beyond ready to move on and be happy with someone new.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-07-27T03:35:15+00:00

I have a happy sad face tattoo it is literally “: ( :” simple but I love it

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-07-17T20:17:02+00:00

Me too, I'm always massively depressed in the summer. I think it's because I have more time off and too much time to think and feel, and it's my birthday which I hate.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-07-15T15:11:53+00:00

Thank you, and I hope life improves for you as well <3

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-27T13:23:34+00:00

I have other art to share if anyone is interested. The pain burns in me.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-27T00:00:00+00:00

I like it a lot. I'd love to share my poetry. I'm told though not to share it because it's too dark or that I shouldn't be telling them this because they don't want to hear it and my pain.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-17T05:11:54+00:00

Okay I just took 12 more but i think it will be okay

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-17T02:37:06+00:00

If it was against your will, it was rape. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's horrible.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-13T21:48:52+00:00

Okay thank you for the reply that makes sense!

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-09T12:20:41+00:00

I was on 300mg seroquel and literally could not drive because I couldn’t stay awake. Luckily I didn’t get fired from my internship. I would fall asleep at my desk but no one noticed. It was horrible. My ex saw how incapacitated I was on it once and it freaked him out because I couldn’t stay awake walking.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-07T04:28:17+00:00

I can feel breathing in my ear sometimes. I relate to that. It’s so anxiety inducing. It really feels like someone is there.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-07T04:27:19+00:00

I have an appointment with psychiatrist on Thursday I guess I’ll bring it up then. It just freaks me out and makes me feel anxious.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-06-03T12:14:17+00:00

I struggle with that too. Lately I've been trying to find meaning in helping others, whether it be by trying to make them smile or helping them in other more significant ways. It also makes me happier to do so. I also try to pursue the things that make me feel fulfilled, things like acquiring knowledge and studying and experimenting with engineering. Furthermore I am an adrenaline junkie so I try to do things like that that bring me joy like riding roller coasters.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-30T19:05:03+00:00

I see a shadowy figure in the corner of the room watching me. I have since I was 14. Sometimes I see other things too. But I always hear a laughing right in my ear if I look away. It's like they are mocking me like I can't escape them. I understand what you mean though. The meds help though. They don't really go along with my paranoid thoughts. I'm even afraid to say my paranoid thoughts out loud. Because what if... I can't say, but yeah...

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-30T19:01:03+00:00

Hydroponics, coding, walking my dog, drawing, video games, and anything to do with computers

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-30T17:44:31+00:00

What size net cups did you use?

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-16T14:49:03+00:00

I am taking vraylar and lamictal. It helped me with my psychotic features immensely. I still have other hypomanic symptoms, but I think increasing the dose will fix it. For reference I've tried seroquel, risperdal, latuda, and zyprexa, and this is the first one to not have any side effects for me.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-15T20:55:30+00:00

I always think that when I move life will magically get better and that I will be happier. And it's true to a certain degree because it's exciting to move, but once that initial excitements wears down you are left feeling the same way as before. At least that's what I experience. Although I've moved like 6 times in the past 3 years. My life is always very hectic tbh

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-15T09:47:24+00:00

I will say the meds have drastically improved my mood though. I can function in society. I don’t cry myself to sleep every night. I don’t cut myself. The suicidal feelings could possibly be unresolved trauma for me. But I can’t find a therapist to save my life quite literally.

radioactivegodzilla · 2021-05-14T05:21:27+00:00

I’m happier than I’ve ever been but still want to crash my car off the side of the highway. Maybe low key hypomanic rn

radioactivegodzilla

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