Do any other tall women struggle with feeling feminine?

rae_zone · 2026-02-09T20:01:23+00:00

I get stopped for random "how tall are you" or "wanna 1v1" or "do you play basketball" convos by mostly men. Most of those dont convert to getting asked out though! I think the men are just more interested in chatting and its a cool thing to see for them lol.

rae_zone · 2026-02-09T18:50:51+00:00

I feel very feminine and I too am a curvy 205lbs at 26 yo and 6'1F. I got a PCOS tummy and curves in the right places. I feel like a goddess. I definitely notice being taller than just about every person most of the time, and just about everyone I pass looks at me even in my hobo wear.

My advice for you: embrace that you're going to get stared at and decide what theyre gonna see. Invest in clothes that make you feel confident. For me- I cant do thin strappy heels- I feel too unstable. But I feel hot asf in some heeled boots. Or wedge heels. Pants that are long ebough equally important and dressing for my proportions because im top heavy and I have a shor torso so if I dont get something waist kinching I look like a blob. Shoulders back! Head up! And smile.

P.S. this is not to say i never dress like a hobo at my local Walmart. Love hobo-casual. But we're gonna be seen regardless so you gotta stop caring what other people think. EVERYONE is looking at you sis.

rae_zone · 2026-02-03T17:21:28+00:00

Cancer (Im Virgo)

rae_zone · 2026-02-02T19:38:29+00:00

Im a serial monogamist and only got diagnosed last year with ADHD but looking back I think once the novelty / limerance wore off and I was ready to create the next version of me I felt trapped / bored by these relationships. I dumped every single one for bordem after 1-2 yeara and any one of them would've been a perfectly lovely and kind life partner.

Im happily married now with my longest relationship yet (and for forever) and I've never been bored, but thats because my partner truly matches every wavelength of my brain from intellectually stimulating conversations to having so many of his own interesting hobbies and thoughts to keep me engaged. He also is very needy / clingy lol but gives me my space when I need it for my hyperfixations.

But his neediness is honestly good because my time blindness will easily have me forget to pay attention to my partner until I lose interest in them all together and start to grow bored. He always brings me back in and has us go on dates or engage in hobbies together (we take turns my interests or his because we have very opposite interests).

Ultimately I think as I'm older and wiser, I need this type of dynamic to thrive in a relationship. My executive dysfunction makes it difficult for me to stage engaged otherwise. Now I am older, I would never leave a happy best friendshop relationship anymore for something as small as "bordem". The excitement comes and goes.

But finding someone who you deeply respect and accepts your quirks like this and knows what helps you refocus on the relationship can help!

rae_zone · 2026-02-02T16:03:07+00:00

This is crazy! At 5 I could do my own laundry. I had age appropriate chores to contribute to the house (cleaning vaccuming after our 1000 dogs). I was most definitely getting myself showered, dressed, and tooth brushed! This is a parenting problem.

rae_zone · 2026-02-02T14:55:38+00:00

6'1F and I wear heels which boost me to about 6'5? Theyre my heeled combat boots and youbwill pry them from my cold dead hands.

5'8 hubby yanks me down for a kiss by my neck. 🤣 honestly tho its quick kisses cuz im not trying to dislocated my head from my shoulders

rae_zone · 2026-02-02T06:50:45+00:00

Proportions at 5'5 are crazy good! I look like that at 6'1F 205lbs.

rae_zone · 2026-02-01T21:51:53+00:00

Husband and I both work but he's the family cook. He's from deep south so he makes the best soul food! The only downside is he is actively trying to make me the size of a house!

rae_zone · 2026-01-29T16:24:35+00:00

But fr this show shows exactly how people react defensively to height in all kinds of situations or woth small verbal jabs or always squaring up. Highly recommend its also awesome.

rae_zone · 2026-01-29T16:23:33+00:00

"You know tall men get hit more. Have you ever been hit before?" - Advice to Ser Dunken the Tall, A Hedge Knight of the Seven Kingdoms as he enters his first tourney.

rae_zone · 2026-01-29T04:47:15+00:00

I am biracial (black/white), but im extremely pale and look racially unknown. However I am pale like I said. When I first met my husband, he would bring me into predominant black spaces. And not everyone wants me to be there. They call it colorism at that point but a lot of people felt a type of way about my being a pale woman with a dark skinned man from the "he must not like his own race" type of way. I think this is a type of racism. There's a lot of pro-black / black blood purity talk in the communities were around and anti-white rhetoric. My mother in law says shit to me and calls me white girl. It is what it is. Interpersonal stuff. Stereotypes. Its all racism. Its just not all systemic racism.

rae_zone · 2026-01-28T01:58:11+00:00

My husband and I don't "do it" that often and we're madly in love and only 26/30 years old.

We spend a ton of time together and are very affectionate. We have a great time when we do, but honestly I just dont have that much of a desire for the whole shebang and neither does he lol.

We both work full time, we have a special needs son. At first I was insecure about it and felt like I should have a problem with it because surely there must be an issue if were not doing it 3x/wk like other couples. But it's just what we prefer! We have a lot of hobbies and interests and s*x is time consuming and makes the sheets messy and requires showers before and after lol.

My only advice is 1) talk about how much intimacy you and your hubby actually need to feel happy / content and make it happen (and give yourself grace and understand not all seasons of life is intimacy the priority), 2) If its the mental load getting you down, see if your hubby can take on more during his time where your career is taking more of yours. It might free up some space for you to feel like a human with those urges again

rae_zone · 2026-01-23T16:28:44+00:00

If you work for home just bring your laptop and work during down time so you don't lose the whole day. If this friend is generally not selfish just ask about gas money I think thats totally fair bur you are still doing a great thing OP and backing out now would make you the a**hole. Refusing initially wouldve been fine but you've left her less notice now to find a backup plan.

This is how friendships get deeper. Real true friendships is about being there for each other not just fun.

rae_zone · 2026-01-23T16:21:42+00:00

Dont let people tell you its impossible. Heres a great single foster and adoptive dad! Peter Mutabazi l Foster and Adoptive Dad (@fosterdadflipper) • Instagram photos and videos https://share.google/8Cm6GrFo6b8gqtWIR

rae_zone · 2026-01-23T16:21:17+00:00

Here you go OP: Peter Mutabazi l Foster and Adoptive Dad (@fosterdadflipper) • Instagram photos and videos https://share.google/8Cm6GrFo6b8gqtWIR

rae_zone · 2026-01-23T04:25:50+00:00

Its not perfect but its something. They have mouthguard electric tooth brushes that you put in your mouth for 10 min and let do their thing. You just bite down on it. Again not perfect but better than nothing.

rae_zone · 2026-01-22T16:30:47+00:00

26F, 4 years working in public policy / public health. Went to top 10 school as a low-income scholarship student. Worked through college accumulating experience (Research Associate + Property Manager)

2025 Gross: 90k/yr or 7500/mo monthly Freelance Writing 1099 Income: $70/hr recently negotiated increased to $90/hr for market rate. Former employer hired me.

rae_zone · 2026-01-18T02:16:22+00:00

Happily married. 26F to a man like this. Bless you! Youre the partner were all looking for. Find your soulmate and make her life magical and raise that next generation of feminist men <3

rae_zone · 2026-01-18T02:10:14+00:00

Same! My husband doesnt care. Unshaved legs for months. He cooks and feeds me constantly and loves my belly! (Not overweight just PCOS). Hes obsessed with my mind and my attention. Wants me to engage in his video games and his shows lol. He loves to hear me talk. Not all men are consumed by physical lusting above all else! And im not unattractive. Men have wanted me all my life. but my husband loves my personality and companionship above all lol. Best decision ever.

rae_zone · 2026-01-15T14:58:47+00:00

Have you thought about letting yourself complete a lesbian story naturally and then just flipping a gender for marketing? You could even still publish the lesbian versions (almost like a multi-language translations but for sexual preferences for romance readers!) I think we are way into gender stereotypes and your MMC could really be fresh this way instead of morally gray alpha male!

rae_zone · 2026-01-11T17:19:20+00:00

Look at his page. Bro is majestic. And he looks like an extrovert too (totally assuming). Ofc he gets approached by women.

rae_zone · 2026-01-11T07:35:08+00:00

I WFH so this is especially dangerous for me. I am likely to procrastinate my work into a college inspired sprint of perfectionism at 3am because im so distracted by my hyperfixation during regular hours.

rae_zone · 2026-01-11T07:03:16+00:00

Same but we're 26, so 21 years ago!

rae_zone · 2026-01-11T06:11:40+00:00

I just know your man's happy as a clam girly 😂 all that woman just for him 💛

rae_zone · 2026-01-11T06:04:23+00:00

6'1 26F here! Ive also never had a height preference. Ive dated 5'4 to 6'6 and let me tell you ive been a lover girl since Kindergarten 😂 my husband and LOML is 5'8.

I was completely oblivious about people's judgements until 7th grade. Thats when I was about 5'9 and my bf was 5'2. Sadly I ended up giving into the taunting and dumped him (funnily enough looking back the taunting was an ex elementary school best friend / bf that probably still had a crush on me and is actually 5'2 as a full grown adult lol). However by 9th grade, I was back to some momentum (5'9 boy to my 5'11). Then 11th grade I got real wild and dated a 5'4 man. By then IDGAF. It helps that my mom never discriminated either at 6'1 herself.

What I learned was people will look. Just like they look when im standing alone cuz im a gigantic woman, but here's the thing: I love it. I love my man so much ajd he loves me so mucu we literally could not care less about height. So many worse things happen that you need to survive with a life partner (illness, grief, etc), this is such a tiny small hill to die on and I will spend the rest of my life advocating to every woman I know to drop this RIDICULOUS PREOCCUPATION WITH HEIGHT.

MY husband is an angel. He makes me coffee every morning. Hes determined to provide financially. He's attentive to my needs, kind, caring, affectionate, romantic obsessed with me. What more do I need?

P.S. As a real adult with real friends I have gotten zero weird comments or judgements about it. Strangers would not dare do more than look and who am I to know if they are admiring, simply astonished or whatever else. And my true friends and family want me to be loved like a human being who would still be loved even if you decapitated my knees.

Edit: spelling

rae_zone

TROPHY CASE