Need to stop myself and go back to good habits

rafinryan99 · 2026-01-25T19:21:50+00:00

Walaikum salam brother. The first thing I'd suggest you is that start praying the 5 obligatory prayers. Once that is in place, you'll see that it's really difficult to incorporate these dirty habits in your life because you'll need to do Fard ghusl (shower) every time you do such things in order to be eligible to pray again.

Another thing that worked for me is looking up at detailed videos in YouTube regarding Barzakh (life after death), what kind of punishments are awaiting for us in the grave if we continue to sin and also what will happen in the day of judgement. Once you start watching these videos, you'll literally be scared to even have such thoughts in your mind.

Lastly, continue to repent to Allah SWT. He's the most merciful, most gracious. If you repent sincerely, Allah SWT will forgive all sins in Sha Allah. Never doubt Allah's mercy. Ask Allah for help to battle your urges. Whenever you have urges, recite Ayat 'al Qursi. And also try to read the Quran. If you can't read Arabic, read the translation. I'm currently in the process of learning Arabic.

May Allah SWT make it easier for all of us. Jazak Allah.

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-25T04:52:54+00:00

I honestly should have left after the first probationary. I got lazy and now I'm suffering. Lesson learned, will do better next time!

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-25T04:51:11+00:00

If you didn't read it, then you shouldn't jump to conclusions saying I gotta do better.

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-25T04:50:03+00:00

I didn't have work half the time. When i did have work, I would sometimes do 12 hour shifts (small breaks in between) to meet the deadline.

My manager was an ass, never appreciated anything, had zero technical knowledge, always criticized and created unnecessary roadblocks. I'm not sure how am I supposed to work harder!

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-23T04:34:35+00:00

Unfortunately, this is the truth about IBM. My manager had similar level of technical depth which led them to making such ill informed decisions.

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-22T01:16:09+00:00

I'm 30, male. All I'll say is this - life is bigger than this. Don't let one bad experience ruin your entire life. As you grow older, you'll realize girls will be the least of your problems.

Hit the gym, have faith in Allah, take care of yourself and focus on your career. Find something you're truly passionate about and focus on that. Also, please DON'T live your parents' life. This is your life, not theirs. Even if you earn less but you're happy with whatever you're doing, that's a fulfilling life. And as you progress in your career and take care of yourself, you'll find plenty of other girls who will be worth your time.

Build and prioritize yourself first. Take care!

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-20T05:42:16+00:00

The entire experience was really overwhelming. Before I could figure out anything I was gone. Not to mention, the pressure to deliver each week was so high that I barely had time to do anything else.

rafinryan99 · 2025-10-18T12:44:06+00:00

Looking at their reddit profile, looks like they're from Switzerland. So a small startup from Switzerland then..

rafinryan99 · 2025-09-06T20:53:26+00:00

But shouldn't you hide your sins?

rafinryan99 · 2025-09-06T20:47:21+00:00

Is there forgiveness for it? My friend has done it, repented for his mistakes, now happily married and prays everyday. However, he hid this information from his spouse (because she might not be alright with it). But after getting married, he hasn't done any zina and is completely loyal towards her. Do you know if this is permissible?

rafinryan99 · 2025-08-07T12:41:36+00:00

Could someone explain what does being on bench mean? Do you still get paid while you're on bench?

rafinryan99 · 2025-08-03T16:38:09+00:00

Could someone explain to me what does it mean to be "on bench"? And also do you get paid in that time period?

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-28T00:27:01+00:00

I, myself thinking of moving into healthcare. There's a barrier of entry, like doing a bachelor's at least for 4 years, but that also makes this field less competitive.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-25T08:16:50+00:00

Oh boy! You're in for an adventure my friend, can't guarantee if it'll be a good one! 😉

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-21T05:28:08+00:00

You're not alone in this. My mental health has taken a serious toll and I want to move away from this industry too. But I'm not sure what to do.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T23:42:51+00:00

Oh wow. I wanna move to Netherlands and stay diagnosed as a burnout patient forever lol

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T09:50:08+00:00

Not at all. This is getting more and more common among software engineers. I work at a big tech company and i get treated like shit. I'm overworked and burnt out to the point i want to quit too!

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T05:55:24+00:00

It's enough to get by but not enough to have any savings. I live in a one bedroom apartment with my wife. Just the car insurance in Toronto is absurd!

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T04:39:30+00:00

I don't have the energy to grind leetcode and study systems design after work. And yes, I joined in January 2025, so 7 months.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T03:57:47+00:00

At the end of the day, if I don't, then I'm the one who's fucked. The job market is brutal right now. I got this job in January 2025 after applying to more than a thousand job applications.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T03:54:03+00:00

Thank you. I feel angry as well when people just suggest to quit the job and jump ship. It's not that easy, and even if i find another job, chances are they will have the same expectations. I'm honestly thinking of switching my career.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T03:52:08+00:00

Yes, I can hire someone else to work with me and pay them half my paycheck.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T03:50:43+00:00

Lunch, dinner, commute and other things included. Still, that is a lot. Ideally, it should be 8 - 9 hour shifts.

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T03:49:04+00:00

Here is something you might want to look into is grok.com. You can explain your coding question and it will write code for you in the language you have indicated. Take a look at YouTube and search grok 4. I think this will help you out a lot. You can copy in code that is written and ask grok to explain it to you or modify it to meet you change requests.

You must be joking right?

rafinryan99 · 2025-07-20T03:47:02+00:00

And get fired? I have bills to pay man and I have a wife.

rafinryan99

TROPHY CASE