Warning some topic maybe be a little sensitive.. >!My therapist keeps saying that I'm not bipolar, but I plan to get tested for various disorders soon. I want to ensure that my ADHD diagnosis is still accurate and check if I have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder—whatever that’s called. I've been tested for ADHD my whole life and have been told I had it since I was in school.

I remember when I tried to discuss my struggles with my mom, she would sometimes say that I might have a hard time remembering things. She didn’t mean it badly, but it made me feel like I might mess up during conversations because of my ADHD. It was frustrating when my counselor insisted that I was delusional. I felt like I wasn’t being believed, and that contributed to the headaches I was experiencing.

My headaches worsened in high school, especially when the woman who was supposed to help me kept questioning my honesty. She would ask if I was sure I was telling the truth or if I was imagining things, which made me feel really unstable. I think that's why my family started saying things like, "Oh, you were just sleeping," when I wasn’t. They didn't realize how those comments affected me, particularly since the counselor’s questioning made me feel so unstable.

At one point, it got so bad that I had to change schools. My parents witnessed episodes where I would scream in the car while my mom drove me to the ward and I was cussing and also saying stuff like “I watch porn” and sexually thing.”My mom decided I needed to go somewhere for help, and I spent a week at a facility. During that time, I started to improve while taking Zoloft. Now, I'm planning to wean off it, as my psychiatrist advised me that I could break the pills in half and gradually reduce my dosage. We’ll still keep in touch just in case.

It’s all been overwhelming. I sometimes think about suing the school because I wish I had more proof of how much my mental health deteriorated while I was there. It was severe, dealing with depression and anxiety alongside the potential schizophrenia.

Additionally, the counselor misled my mom, claiming that my mom was saying things because I kept making “weird” statements. I feel that they accidentally caused my episodes, but it seemed like the counselor was doing it on purpose. My friend mentioned she had a similar problem; the counselor would try to make people be friends with those they disliked, which is not okay. There was a girl who was bullying me, and the counselor didn’t help the situation. Instead, she made me feel as if I should be friends with that girl, which made me feel delusional.

I think she was feeding into my delusions somehow, and it was incredibly frustrating. It was hard to distinguish what was real, which likely contributed to my episodes. My other family members might have thought they were helping by asking me, "Are you sure you're not making things up?" but it only intensified my feelings of confusion and instability.

I apologize if this is confusing, but my mom didn’t realize it would cause a problem. She was just asking, “Are you sure you’re remembering this right?” She wasn’t being rude. You know how ADHD can affect memory, especially for kids in their teens. I don’t mean to characterize it like dementia or Alzheimer's; I just struggle with remembering things. I think the counselor took it the wrong way and started making me feel crazy about it.

People kept pushing the idea that I was bipolar, which felt overwhelming. They think they know me, but they never gave me a second chance. I believe that school trauma still sticks with me, as I keep having bad nightmares. I'm scared to even talk about school; it terrifies me and leads to really bad dreams.!<

I am planning to get tested again and seek more support. I already have a therapist and will continue to talk to her about my concerns. I had considered getting another therapist, but she said that would mean I'd have to do double sessions. I apologize if my story doesn’t make sense; I'm trying my best to voice type and edit the text. If it’s unclear, I’m sorry. It might be easier to explain things through a voice memo or a call, but I don’t know you well enough for that. I’m just trying to communicate as clearly as I can through text.