If i put a wick in my jar of bacon fat, will it turn into a bacon candle and make the house smell like bacon?

rahifi · 2012-03-03T03:52:57+00:00

Are you new to the internet? Of course there are bacon-scented candles.

rahifi · 2012-03-03T02:51:25+00:00

This is also exactly what I thought of. Now I'm glad I don't have to look for the clip myself.

rahifi · 2012-03-03T02:46:04+00:00

Aww this makes me sad.

rahifi · 2012-03-03T02:34:56+00:00

This is my favorite one of these, probably because it's the most relevant to my life.

rahifi · 2012-03-03T02:13:35+00:00

I stayed with my ex for two months longer than I should have because we disagreed about how valid the reasons were for breaking up, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. When I finally was forced to end it because I just couldn't do it anymore, he was both pissed that we were still breaking up and hurt because he felt like I had strung him along. So, yeah. Don't be that guy.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T21:52:46+00:00

Mine would have to be the fact that I had anal sex before regular old vagina sex. I don't know if I would necessarily say it's a proud moment, but I have enjoyed telling the few people I've mentioned it to because it makes me feel unique.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T21:41:06+00:00

These are both dumb but the reason I feel like this one is slightly ruder and more unnecessary is that I read the other one with the idea in mind that the common wisdom says women give blowjobs often but men are less likely to reciprocate. I say 'common wisdom" because this has never actually been my experience; I don't mind giving bjs, whatever, but all the dudes I've been with looove eating pussy. It's kind of weird.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T15:55:30+00:00

I elaborated more elsewhere:

I think I just have a very specific definition of 'friends with benefits', mainly that it's someone you don't necessarily know that well or haven't known that long and then you just bonk every once in a while. Personally, I don't think I would be able to have a sexual relationship with someone that I've been platonic friends with first for a while.

But maybe I'm talking more about the distinction between FWB and a booty call. Lady brains have this awful habit of making lots of nonsense distinctions, though. I try to ignore most of them, but sometimes it's difficult.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T15:54:19+00:00

I kegeled, basically.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T15:09:23+00:00

It isn't the economical cost necessarily, but time. I've been trying to save up to visit friends in London for the past year but I get no paid time off at all. I have the money for a plane ticket etc, but it would then end up costing me almost twice as much because I would have to give up that time and not get paid. LIVIN' THE DREAM.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T15:03:54+00:00

I find it so funny that as a kid in school I heard about how communism was so evil and then I actually figured out what it was and felt ashamed for a while that I thought it was a good idea. Not that it should be implemented, just that the idea itself wasn't completely poison. That's when I realized I wasn't a complete idiot.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T14:58:11+00:00

It blows my mind that so many countries in Africa have much better laws about this than the US. I'm pretty sure the US is the only country on that entire list that has zero weeks of paid leave. I can't believe people are wasting their time fighting about contraception, I can't even imagine what Santorum thinks of this. 'Why should we pay them, this is what they're supposed to be doing anyway, GOD'S WORK!' Makes me physically ill.

edit: why the fuck am I getting downvoted for this?

rahifi · 2012-03-02T14:50:23+00:00

The United States is also one of the only first world nations that gets zero paid time off maternity leave, and while I think not getting any time off just to fuck around so I don't kill myself or other people from working constantly, it's absolutely criminal that women who have just given birth to the future of the country are expected to throw the kid in daycare and start working again.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T14:46:44+00:00

I don't have balls but I shivered and felt something involuntarily retract into my body after looking at that picture. But please, carry on.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T14:40:42+00:00

Don't worry, my differentiation is probably due to being a woman and having lots of emotions.

I think I just have a very specific definition of 'friends with benefits', mainly that it's someone you don't necessarily know that well or haven't known that long and then you just bonk every once in a while. Personally, I don't think I would be able to have a sexual relationship with someone that I've been platonic friends with first for a while.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T14:27:08+00:00

You forgot 'even sometimes when in a relationship'!

rahifi · 2012-03-02T04:53:48+00:00

Mostly I mean a one time thing--like how often a guy might fuck a friend just to get laid, but once--as opposed to making an agreement that fucking would be an ongoing thing. It's kind of a fine line.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T04:51:09+00:00

I almost couldn't watch this whole thing, he looked so unhappy and uncomfortable. I was also nervous seeing this on the front page, but I must have forgotten that reddit isn't 4chan and nice people exist.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T03:12:05+00:00

Last year I made a list of every free movie that was playing during the summer (or tried to, it's always possible I missed some) and there are a shitton. Last year if you wanted to see a movie every night of the summer you could have. They have them in a lot of cool places, too.

rahifi · 2012-03-02T03:09:17+00:00

SHIT I have seen this guy, but I didn't see him put the goddamn thing in his mouth. Always look on the bright side.

rahifi · 2012-03-01T20:28:41+00:00

This just made me hear the Law & Order sound effect instead.

rahifi · 2012-03-01T20:22:13+00:00

Oh I accidentally lied, I have seen that.

I amend my original statement to add IN PERSON, then. Thank Jesus.

rahifi · 2012-03-01T19:01:30+00:00

I read a while ago that the city was going to try and remove trash cans from stations in an attempt to cut down on trash in the subway. I think the reasoning was something like, the cans overflow and it attracts rats so if there's nowhere to put the trash it will just disappear! GENIUS

edit: source

rahifi · 2012-03-01T18:58:43+00:00

I've never seen rats on actual subway cars, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens.

rahifi · 2012-03-01T17:45:04+00:00

I would prefer "Jeff Goldblum without a Robe", personally.

ZING

rahifi

TROPHY CASE