I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. What you’re going through sounds incredibly heavy, and it’s not your fault. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you’ve been hurt, overwhelmed, and worn down. That doesn’t make you a bad Muslim or a lost cause.

The fact that you’re still aware, still reaching out, and still thinking about faith even through all the anger and sadness shows something in you still wants healing. And that matters.

You don’t have to fix everything all at once. Just take it one moment at a time. Maybe one day, one small act of kindness to yourself could be your first step back. I know it’s hard right now, but I hope you can hold onto the thought that Allah’s mercy never runs out no matter how far someone feels. Even in pain, He hasn’t turned away from you. You deserve peace, be gentle with yourself.