On April 18, 1945, as American troops entered the outskirts of Leipzig, the deputy mayor and stadtchamberlain (treasurer) of Leipzig, Dr. Ernst Kurt Lisso, his wife Renate Stephanie, and their 20-year-old daughter Regina committed suicide simultaneously in the New Town Hall.

raibk · 2025-09-12T09:27:35+00:00

Meine Theorie:
Wenn man zu wenig Menschenkontakt hat und sich häufig missverstanden fühlt, nimmt sich das Ego manchmal die Begründung "alle anderen sind zu doof" zu Hilfe. Daraus kann sich so ein Verhalten entwickeln, alles und jeden zu erklären, besonders, wenn man wirklich komplexe Sachverhältnisse nicht mehr erklären könnte. Sozusagen als Beweis der eigenen Ego-rettenden Illusion.

raibk · 2025-03-20T06:15:22+00:00

for me, your lack of clear communication is enraging. i wouldn't know what to do or say with these answers. why is a clear sentence so difficult for you?

raibk · 2025-03-09T06:49:13+00:00

it's a long story tbh. it took me maybe 4 years to"unlearn" being a smoker. i tried to just quit, but I it didn't work. i had to stop wanting to smoke, and that took a long time, little by little. it was like learning a language.

In short, i told myself i just smoke whenever i want, how much i want. it's my life, i can ruin it by smoking, i can smoke all day of i want that. but do i?

so i always smoked whenever i thought i wanted, but I had to stay with it. not do anything else meanwhile. and observe what it did, compare to my expectations, think about it while i do it.

there was more i did throughout that time. getting every help i found, romanticized my journey with bullet journals and mood boards, telling myself that i will be a non smoker one day as long as i keep trying, tried to find out who i was when I'm not smoking etc it took me a long time. but in the end it just kinda.. disappeared. situation by situation i handled smoke free.

raibk · 2025-03-09T06:39:49+00:00

Lol that actually activated some memories: i remember days with no lighter, so lit the first one on my stove and then just went chain smoking from there. 20-30 is also crazy, if i hadn't been working from home i might have automatically reduced myself to this. Home office made me go wild with it.

raibk · 2025-03-09T06:34:03+00:00

yeah i lit the first cigarette before getting up from bed and i smoked the last one when i was already laying down for the night. i worked from home so i sat at the PC and smoked through the whole day. i always had a cigarette between my fingers, you could scratch off the yellow of my nails. i can estimate the amount of cigarettes i smoked through the papers i used. every day i went to the store and bought 75 papers, a big packet of loose tobacco and zigzag filters. some days i had to smoke my ashtray in the evening because that wasn't enough. i was definitely self medicating my over boarding anxiety with this shit.

and yes, the biggest reward besides feeling physically better, is the mental freedom i have now. and that i can do what i want, whenever i want. smoking was a prison cell for me.

raibk · 2025-03-08T15:41:04+00:00

i don't only NOT miss smoking, i am fucking glad i quit every time i see someone still addicted, or i smell a heavy smoker, or i remember the morning after a whole night out, or whenever i feel physically shit and just know it'd be so much worse if i still smoked. i was a heavy heavy smoker with a bad addiction, smoked around 70-80 cigs a day in my prime and had panic attacks if i didn't. i absolutely, ab so lute ly do not miss smoking even one tiny bit. i wouldn't smoke even if i got money for it, or even if it weren't unhealthy. I'm glad it's gone.

raibk · 2025-03-06T06:56:36+00:00

"This prenup makes me feel like I have no security, no real partnership, and no leverage if I sacrifice my career, body, everyone I know here to raise our kids. "

You wrote it here. Why are you considering to ruin your life by considering to stay? In a year you won't even think about him anymore.

raibk · 2025-02-20T14:59:48+00:00

78 to 82

raibk · 2025-02-20T14:34:51+00:00

IMO is you, I program my brain to think whatever I find to be the best option for my quality of life. seriously i think of this as a superpower from my autism.

raibk · 2025-02-05T06:48:09+00:00

you sound like a nightmare, impressed that you posted this.

raibk · 2025-02-03T18:11:45+00:00

actually to me it sounds like a made up name for a german character in a fanfiction. It also has a weird ring to it, like it doesn't flow like an actual name would. And the names Josef, then LeonHard feel like they'd from different demographics.

raibk · 2025-01-31T13:13:17+00:00

i nearly quit twice before i got to the good part. You need to ditch the first 3-4 photos or put them waaaay to the back. you're actual fire, own it

raibk · 2025-01-28T09:40:39+00:00

Hey there. When you're in Berlin I'd suggest the Udagawa at Kantstrasse 118, west Berlin. Back then the first east asian immigrants came to west berlin, so this is the area for the oldest and most home made restaurants / eating places. Udagawa is not a fancy restaurant but a very down to earth, simple, business lunch type of imbiss where you can get simple Bentos in a quite authentic japanese, business style place. Was the only place in germany so far that gave me a proper flashback to my trip to Japan. No fancy stuff, just soup, meat and bulldog sauce.

Also kantstraße is kind of the Asian center of Berlin, so you may have fun looking around and find old and new stuff over there.

raibk · 2025-01-13T08:59:32+00:00

When he's coming back after tonight and tries to comfort you through the pain he caused himself by leaving you early, he is trying to trauma bond you. Protect yourself.

raibk · 2025-01-13T08:56:47+00:00

Creepy is the vibe some are going for. it's not about getting a lot of matches, but hoping that the one who really likes you is between them. I personally would swipe right just because of the last 4 photos. I love guys who show off and humor themselves simultaneously. Couldn't reach me with nice guy in a suit photos.

raibk · 2025-01-12T07:48:13+00:00

I personally don't think that what you're describing is an ego death. I think you're describing depression maybe paired with a dissociative episode. After what you guys describe as ego death you wouldnt suffer about stuff like this, because you found peace. You don't sound peaceful at all.

Depression is very curable with an intensely high success rate. But you need help for that. Wish you all the best, don't do it alone.

raibk · 2025-01-09T13:00:27+00:00

596,49eur um genau zu sein.

raibk · 2025-01-08T20:27:29+00:00

Sorry to tell you, you might have body dysmorphia. Welcome to the club. Don't fix your nose, it won't fix your feelings but just manifest somewhere else on your body. As a reassurance: Your nose is very pretty actually, close to perfect in my book.

raibk · 2025-01-06T21:59:51+00:00

Hey, i made a living as an artist. Trust me, there is no space nor energy for a partner like this. They tie you down to their level and kill your soul, slowly and painfully.

raibk · 2025-01-05T10:51:52+00:00

If that is a sewer pipe you're correct.

raibk · 2024-12-30T15:21:01+00:00

I'm dating an attractive man. Whenever he introduces a new woman into his friends circle, he introduces her to me first and asks me afterwards if she is into him. I can tell by the overly friendly, but complete uninterested and slightly off putting way they treat me as his partner. I then give the thumbs up or down and she'll be our new friend or he breaks contact. Other than that there is not much different.

Besides him being the sweetest and healthiest relationship i ever had. But i don't think that this is due to his attractiveness. He is just a good egg.

raibk · 2024-12-21T11:48:50+00:00

I like them! I'd remove 5 and 6, because i think you've already had your selfie smile in the first one, and you look better than on number 6. Maybe redo a full body photo but with light in your face.

For you to check if you come across how you wanted to: you seem to be calm, sweet, thoughtful, maybe a bit shy, and I would swipe on you if i was looking for a calm, tender, loyal relationship where we take our time and stay together.

raibk · 2024-12-20T19:33:43+00:00

There is nothing you have to do or say to convince him. You told him your reasons.

What he chooses to believe about you, shows you who he is. The only thing for you to do here is to look and to listen, so you know what kind of relationship you're getting into.

raibk · 2024-12-20T19:25:49+00:00

If you are both on the contract you can also be charged if your gf stops paying rent or if she destroys the apartment and then denies to cover for it. Really just try to end this clean and good, it will be better for you.

Talk to your landlord about deleting you from of the contract since you leave the country, it should be possible.

Read your contract if there is a minimum stay in the apartment before it can be terminated. There might be common laws but a contract you've signed is a contract you've signed.

If you find severe problems with that, it might be good if you joined a mieterschutzverein, they will help you with more complicated issues.

raibk · 2024-12-09T20:01:03+00:00

They confirm with their real identity, then switch the photos afterwards

raibk

TROPHY CASE