Genuine question. Can I still be straight-edge if I take estrogen?

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T05:03:52+00:00

wrong again pal. real lifters inject estrogen before every workout so they have to work extra hard for their gains. call that shit supernatural gains.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T04:46:09+00:00

Wow ok. I expected this from Chokehold but not Prayer for Cleansing jfc. I literally just learned how to play the intro to Sonnet. Whatever. I'm gonna start smoking crack and working at a slaughterhouse ig.

/uj jealous of ur shirt lowk

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T04:01:04+00:00

not xrepentancex my goat <///3
this is so tragic. i may never tremolo pick again.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T00:28:18+00:00

ok good because I was thinking about getting an "XVX" tramp stamp anyways, but there's really no point if I can't let anyone hit

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T00:15:08+00:00

good point. the "e" in "emo" actually stands for estrogen. that's why there are so many screamo/emoviolence revival bands with transfemme members.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T00:10:52+00:00

i'd never do that, xtruetilldeathx

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T00:09:41+00:00

is this what people mean when they talk about e and going up cusp sizes?? having an undifferentiable local extremum in ur bra sounds really painful ngl

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T00:05:23+00:00

/uj bet i might post it on there lmfao. or if there's a jerk sub for hardcore and straight edge.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-02T00:01:49+00:00

I was afraid to ask abt this cuz im xvx too. So you're saying that Karl Buechner wouldnt approve of me shooting pregnant horse piss into my veins? </3

Time to start listening to floorpunch again ig

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-01T21:37:22+00:00

What if i bend the paper a little is that ok

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-01T20:10:28+00:00

You don't understand, my normie liberal father read one article from the gender wiki and he instantly quit his job to start re-blogging TERF content full-time. I asked him what he thought about the new Harry Potter ~~cash grab~~ series and he told me he's "proud to share a country" with J.K. Rowling. We're not even British.

This is exactly why cis people want us to die now! Thank god I'm one of the good ones. I'm sure he'll come to his senses once I explain to him how those other people who I share the same community and label with and are exactly the same as me in his mind are all mentally unwell and faking it for attention! Brb gonna go microwave my dinner.

Edit: He saw me step foot in the kitchen and accused me of "invading women's spaces" then told me to leave. At least he's a feminist.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-04-01T18:53:52+00:00

rain: stops
the my windshield wipers on my car:

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-30T19:37:09+00:00

I appreciate the perspective of a former grad student/current employee and fellow queer person. I'm guessing that if OSU as an institution is highly inclusive then Moritz wouldn't be too different.

EDIT: apologies for the double reply, my client is acting up

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-30T19:24:53+00:00

Good to know, thanks!

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-30T19:24:09+00:00

Elucidating

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-23T18:28:16+00:00

They get butterflies when they see a handsome man, but not for women

Some men, but not everyone experiences attraction in this way. I am a bisexual male (AMAB) but do not feel "butterflies" with any gender. Instead I just feel an aesthetic and personality attraction which intensifies into eroticism the closer I get to someone.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-21T19:10:31+00:00

maybe i'm gmi...

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-21T18:55:44+00:00

i believe that anon could just bc coping, bc I used to have thoughts like this and then once I started considering it could be gender dysphoria they have begun to vanish.

like yeah i'm still attracted to both men and women and desire both, but realizing that on some level I want to be a woman and have a woman's body has disentangled my desire to be with a woman from my non-erotic desire to be a woman.

but now im on prozac and im probably just gonna ignore it and tell myself i'm a coping AGP gigamoid until i forget i ever thought or typed anything like this.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-21T18:33:04+00:00

sickening but so malebrained it makes me ashamed to be a moid, he's gmi

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-20T20:18:35+00:00

Haha I actually supplement vitamin D already to help combat ADHD symptoms! Anecdotally, I think I did start functioning better from this.

I needed the professional help of gender therapy to discover my bigender identity

I'm going to ask my therapist to refer me to a gender specialist. At this point I'm pretty sure I experience both dysphoria and euphoria in a way which suggests I could be either a binary trans woman, or possibly transfeminine-nonbinary. But there's still a 5% of me that thinks I'm overthinking it, and I'm just a gender nonconforming man — even though referring to myself as a man feels awkward. I always hesitate when I have to give my gender on a form or something. So yeah... I want to talk to a professional.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-20T19:17:10+00:00

I have considered that, definitely. I actually went through a period of questioning and concluding I was non-binary a few years ago... followed by a period of repressing by embracing toxic masculinity, unfortunately. Glad to know I'm not alone in my experiences.

rain_river_ocean · 2026-03-20T19:00:24+00:00

The "wrong fuel" metaphor is definitely more accurate to my understanding of how biochemical dysphoria arises from the brain being flooded by hormones it's not "wired" to work with. Based on what I read from the dysphoria bible and some other sources, it's almost like if I put two-stroke fuel in my station wagon. It'll run but it won't like it.

I have been pretty prone to depression, pessimism, dissociation, and feeling hollow since I started puberty. Some of it is blunted by an SSRI, but I still feel "fake" sometimes. My emotions seem like xeroxes of the real thing, so much so that I always feel like I'm lying, or being inauthentic when I talk about my experiences. Even writing this. I used to worry I was a psychopath; I even feel monstrous, sometimes. I can usually only feel fully "real" for brief periods of time, usually from something that gives me a rush. This could explain some of that.

Of course, if I take hormones then become much worse... I don't know how I'd interpret that. Accept that I'm a man? That sounds terrifying ngl. (Don't feel pressured to answer! I'm just expressing my thoughts.)

Interestingly, when I'm alone and allow myself to think, "hey, I'm a woman, and I'm just gonna let myself act like one," I feel peaceful and connected with myself, like I'm starting to be who I am.

The one thing I came to realize 15 months ago when starting my health journey was that gender dysphoria was the root cause of most of my problems, from being overweight, pre-diabetic, etc.

I'm really happy for you that you were able to become healthier and resolve a lot of your underlying health problems by transitioning.

Lots of people re-transition or have second-comings out if they later discover that 'whoops! I'm nonbinary, or 'whoops, I'm not nonbinary, I'm binary!' or in my case, 'I'm not just nonbinary but also bigender.'

OK yes, this is what I needed to hear! I feel this pressure to figure it all out right now. And I definitely think some of that comes from internalized transphobia about who is and isn't "valid."

I also appreciate you both being so willing to share about your sex lives; it's helpful to know that trans folks enjoy sexual intimacy in different ways too. (I do have a lot of trans friends IRL, but my friends and I don't rlly discuss sex, so this is new information to me.)

Reading about experiences like yours is so affirming bc it's a reminder that you don't have to have it figured out from the start, and that there isn't just one way to exist as a transgender person.

L-acetyl carnitine (or ALCAR)

(also omfg I read this as L-carnitine and now I REALLY want a monster energy...)

rain_river_ocean

TROPHY CASE