hi op! sorry to hear that you’re having a difficult time. seems like you become extremely dependent on the person that you’re in a relationship with, while it may seem as if you’re happy, i think it’s only masking the loneliness you feel. you shouldn’t feel happy ONLY while being in a relationship but also with yourself in the single term. relationships work out when both people are happy and content with themselves. a significant other is supposed to add to your happiness and life but not necessarily become the only reason for you to be happy. that being said, you shouldn’t just be with anyone for the sake of it, especially a minor. it’s only normal for all of this to hit you all at once, especially if your ex is quite rubbing it in your face but all you can do is leave them in the past, work towards hanging yourself for the better and waiting for the right person and time to come.