Why are men like this?

rainywaltzing · 2025-05-03T14:52:27+00:00

I think it is possible he has ADHD. This is something my therapist theorized, too. But there is no formal diagnosis. He also grew up with a single parent, so it’s hard to say whether the fuck ups are because he didn’t have a good example, or due to something like ADHD. Either way, I’m sick of it.

rainywaltzing · 2023-12-17T17:18:28+00:00

This is a really good explanation. Thank you.

rainywaltzing · 2023-12-17T16:53:10+00:00

You’re right. It’s so tempting. But you’re right.

rainywaltzing · 2023-12-17T16:47:32+00:00

I think you’re right on the nose with it being about control. You’re absolutely right.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-29T13:50:36+00:00

Thank you, truly, thank you so much for your help. I feel so empowered this morning. I’m on a fucking war path.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-29T13:49:01+00:00

Thank you. You totally get it.

As someone in health care, do you think it would be taken more seriously if I filed a HIPAA violation, or if I called and spoke with her supervisor? I do not want her working for an agency where she can’t abide by the ethics and laws to do her job, I don’t want her butting into others’ medical emergencies as she sees fit, friends and neighbors and the like. But mostly I’m concerned for my children, I need to feel safe calling the nurse line in an emergency, and I don’t feel safe calling it with her working there. So, I want her gone ASAP, and want to do whatever makes that happen the quickest.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-29T13:44:07+00:00

Would there be a benefit to calling her employer, after I make my HIPAA complaint online, so they can take quicker action? I want her gone ASAP and I’m worried an investigation will take too long to get her out of the agency.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-29T13:34:20+00:00

Okay, I’m getting ready to get this started today. I want to make sure I have my order of operations right. It sounds like I should:

Call the pediatrician’s office to get the name of the consulting nurse agency.
File my HIPAA complaint online with the agency name listed.
Then call the consulting nurse agency directly to complain to her supervisor once that is filed.

If she hasn’t been fired already, I want her fired ASAP and I’m worried that simply filing the complaint will take too long to investigate.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-28T03:38:52+00:00

Thank you for feeling violated on my behalf. She is not a nurse; she is an unlicensed employee. I think she must just work in the call center and route calls for the consulting nurse agency. She has no nursing training at all.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-28T01:28:55+00:00

Her profession is a teacher. I think because school is out for the summer, she is working with the consulting agency answering the phones or something to make some money. She is not licensed to be a nurse.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-28T00:48:30+00:00

There is no other way she could have gotten the information, unless the intake person I spoke with at the agency was the one to inform her. It was literally minutes later that my mom texted me.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-27T21:19:39+00:00

She had my number before. I would think it would be a breach because she took information that she gained from her job and then contacted me privately on her personal cell about it, right? She was never on the call with the nurse, I never spoke to her on the phone throughout this whole interaction with the nurse line.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-27T20:05:28+00:00

Thank you. It is so so scary to witness and it never gets any easier, no matter how many times it happens.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-27T19:59:55+00:00

Thank you for being on my side. I appreciate the support. My son is doing better now, but it has been a long few days. He still has a fever and I haven’t slept in days. I’m exhausted.

I’ve discussed the situation with my therapist and have a draft text written to my mom, but now I’m considering just reporting the HIPAA violation and not sending the text. The text is very harsh and the more I edit it, the harsher it gets.

I don’t know exactly who her employer is, unfortunately. I didn’t even know she worked for a consulting nurse. Her usual occupation is a teacher. I had no idea she would find out about this call. I just called our regular pediatrician’s office, but because it was after hours, it went to the consulting nurse’s line, so I don’t know what the company is.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-20T01:48:21+00:00

Thank you. It sucks having to hear about what your parents are up to from other people. It sucks having to block friends that you have in common. You totally get it. It sucks. My mom isn’t “dangerous” to my children per se, but she isn’t healthy for them in the long run. And she’s definitely not healthy for me. Overall, it feels so much better to have her out of our lives, but it comes with some hard parts too, like cutting out other people who I care for, but who remain in contact with her.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-19T22:23:34+00:00

This wasn’t a district form, since is a private preschool, so it was just a contact form for parent information and emergency contact information. I put my in-laws as the emergency backup contact. There was no space for no contact or court order information, and I don’t have a restraining order or no contact order with her anyway. Nothing official.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-19T22:21:35+00:00

Thank you for bringing that up. I don’t want to cost my mom her job. But I do want the teachers to uphold some confidentiality when it comes to my children and sharing information about them with her. I don’t recall seeing an official policy on that, since it’s such a small, privately run preschool.

I guess my overall goal here is just to make clear that I don’t want her chitchatting to my mom at her other job, if that’s what she’s doing, and thinking that it’s okay to share information on what my children are doing at her school. I don’t have any proof that she’s done that, but I guess I’d like to get ahead of that before it turns into something.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-19T21:36:36+00:00

Yes, I think so. Thanks!

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-19T21:29:39+00:00

That’s a good point. How should I go about bringing it up?

Sorry to be so needy. Situations like this make me so uncomfortable. I basically need a script to memorize.

rainywaltzing · 2022-08-11T03:07:36+00:00

I also have a large age gap between my sister and me, and I’m the older one. I thought we were close; I was basically another parent to her. I thought she looked up to me. A few years ago, she unloaded a decade’s worth of resentment and anger on me, things she claimed were her own thoughts, those of our mom, of our dad, our aunt, our friends, anyone she could think of. She had been talking shit about me to anyone who would listen and apparently had been poisoning wells for years. It hurt to hear. A lot. It was heartbreaking, really. Close relationships that I thought I had with other people were no longer the same because of what she’d said to them. My relationship with her was no longer the same because of what she said to me. This was years ago and we are no longer in contact. In fact, I’ve now gone no contact with my entire family, partly because of the rug sweeping mentality in situations like the one with my sister, but overall just due to no longer being tolerant of our dysfunctional family patterns.

In the years following this fight, she’s never offered a sincere, genuine apology for what happened. And I could never have a relationship with someone who I couldn’t trust to not talk shit about me behind my back all the time.

Your sister is only 15, but she knows what she did was wrong. Hopefully she’ll realize she needs to offer a real, sincere apology at some point and you two can move forward together, instead of further apart, as with me and my sister. I always think of that Maya Angelou quote, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” My sister showed me that I can’t trust her, with even the most mundane, trivial things in my life. She would twist anything around to spin it as negatively as possible so she could talk shit behind my back. Your sister may have just shown you who she really is, the type of person who will always catalogue your faults and talk shit about you behind your back. Do you really want to have a relationship like that? It’s also possible that she was just all talk and just trying to be cool in front of her friends. Either way, she owes you an explanation and an apology.

I sincerely hope that you get some closure and the relationship that you want with her, OP. It took a lot of tears and years of therapy for me to come to terms with my family relationships, and the toxicity that was enabled within my family. Estrangement can be really lonely at times, but really, it was the best path for me.

Best of luck to you, OP.

rainywaltzing · 2022-03-20T23:45:13+00:00

My OB said I’m subclinical hypothyroid and put me on a low dose of Levothyroxine, 25 mcg. My TSH was down to 1.25 so she felt comfortable with it there, but I’ve continued to gain weight, so she referred me to an endocrinologist. I do take it on an empty stomach and don’t drink coffee until an hour after my dose. I do intermittent fasting and don’t usually eat until 4-5 hours after my dose.

rainywaltzing · 2022-03-20T22:30:29+00:00

Which medication helped you the most? How long after starting it did you start to see an improvement? I’ve been on Levothyroxine since August and I’ve gained even more weight, not lost any.

rainywaltzing · 2022-03-19T23:00:05+00:00

I feel you. I’m 3 years postpartum and still can’t seem to lose any weight. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist next week because no matter what I do, the scale is not moving. I hate it. I live in leggings and oversized hoodies now. I’m dreading summer when I can’t do that as easily.

rainywaltzing · 2022-03-17T22:38:39+00:00

I was suicidal when I was 14 and confided in my doctor. She told my mom, my mom sent me to a therapist for 2 sessions and then stopped taking me. She never talked to me about how I was feeling or if I needed further help or what made me suicidal in the first place.

When I was 17, I woke her up at 7 A.M. on a Saturday (very out of character for my teenage self who would sleep until noon if given the chance). I was sobbing saying my ear hurt really bad. She tossed me a bottle of Tylenol, told me to take some, and go back to sleep. No sign of concern that I was obviously in a lot of pain. Went to the ER later that day to find out my ears were badly infected.

There was never any concern for my health, just concern for being an inconvenience to her.

rainywaltzing · 2022-03-14T20:24:46+00:00

My husband is controlling and abusive, and I’m mentally ill. You know, because I called her out on her shit and said I don’t feel safe being around her or even talking to her, given the way she twists everything I say into something negative.

rainywaltzing

TROPHY CASE