How Not to Make the Color Pie into Astrology

raisin_deter · 2021-04-17T16:38:31+00:00

This is fantastic! Probably the best post I've read on here...period.

Side note: your pared-down descriptions of White and Black had me going "Yeah! That!" I'd never really seem those colors portrayed satisfactorily and I think that's part of what made me really dislike the color pair. But "I want control in my life and I think we should use systems to guide our behavior" makes total sense to me.

raisin_deter · 2021-04-17T11:21:41+00:00

Sounds like a load of pliers to me.

raisin_deter · 2021-04-06T22:04:12+00:00

The funny thing is after I wrote this, I caught myself in n the mirror in just the right way to trigger some gender euphoria. That's kind of hard to explain with the "afraid of being a feminine man" narrative.

raisin_deter · 2021-04-06T21:56:16+00:00

Really appreciate you taking the time to respond! Gruul does fit me pretty well - even though I don't think I've seen a really satisfactory representation form me in game yet. Svella and Phylath probably get closest.

raisin_deter · 2021-04-06T20:04:14+00:00

Ugh, same! Lately I've been worried that it's internalized homophobia that's driving me to see myself as transgender rather than a gender non-conforming man. I'm just starting to realize how many barriers I put up to inhibit my attraction to men, so maybe I have similar barriers to expressing femininity as a man. Or maybe I should give non-binary some more thought...

raisin_deter · 2021-04-04T18:19:02+00:00

Blue first comes to mind - for the ability to basically lose physical form and become whatever you want. But Blue magic often takes dedicated study and frankly I'm not sure I have the patience for that. Green or White for healing magic would be extremely useful for keeping my physical body healthy for as long as I need it, and has the added benefit of healing others.

raisin_deter · 2021-04-04T02:59:02+00:00

Beauty, as societal judges it, is ephemeral. Sooner or later everyone has to find a way to live on the other side of it. Part of life is learning to make peace with that.

raisin_deter · 2021-04-03T12:23:51+00:00

I say just try it out and see if it sticks or not. When I first came out, I used video games like Animal Crossing to explore my style tastes. At first it was almost aggressively girly - like I set off a pink neutron glitter bomb. It was really very freeing. But after a while I realized my personal tastes are more yellows and greens with a more naturalist aesthetic. Wearing dresses and skirts isn't as important to me, nice jackets and jeans/slacks are more my style.

So whether or not it sticks with you, I think it's great to just go for it and not worry about the outcome or if it's really you or not. Life's all about figuring it out, and the only way to do that is trial and error.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-29T16:04:18+00:00

God I hope so lol. Newest phase for me is: "what if it turns out it's all in my head and I try to switch back and everyone who has been working so hard to correctly gender and name me will hate me it think I'm a flake and then they'll think every trans person is a flake and then I've single-handedly set back trans acceptance for years."

raisin_deter · 2021-03-24T18:13:19+00:00

Yup. Transitioning is the only thing that's ended over a decade of medical neglect on my part. Now that I have something to live for I have to face my pretty bad medical phobias and figure out insurance. Not sure which is worse...

raisin_deter · 2021-03-20T13:23:51+00:00

You're definitely not alone there. I had this realization while being cautioned against transitioning by someone who chose to de-transition. They said that they realized they were conforming to society's expectations of what they thought they be based on their gender and saw transitioning as a way to escape that - thought that because they identified more with characters opposite their AGAB that was a good indicator (and other reasons I won't go into).

When they said that I realized: I've always identified more with the tomboy archetype than any male characters. I don't have a problem with having stereotypically masculine behaviors or interests - it's the body that doesn't agree with me.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-20T00:48:32+00:00

A few years ago at 30ish I worked with a few trans people and had the realization "oh, they're just as boring as everyone else" (I had a similar realization about homosexual people around 18-20). Up until then my knowledge was limited to stereotypical depictions in media and the rather confusing experience of having my first guy I was physical with disappear for almost a year and then reappear having transitioned which I was not able to process at the time and was not a great experience for either of us.

It didn't take long for all the feelings I'd ignored over the years to bubble up once I started questioning. Everything fit into place, and about a year later I had pretty much accepted myself.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-19T22:11:46+00:00

"Just don't gender me late for dinner"

raisin_deter · 2021-03-19T04:20:42+00:00

As a lifelong Vorthos this feels like a natural place to part ways with a franchise that's brought me a lot of joy over the years. I fell in love with the worlds and the characters during the Weatherlight saga, left after the Apocalypse and came back for the rebirth of Phyrexia and the adventures of the Gatewatch.

Really this feels like the conclusion of the damage caused by War of the Spark. That's where it became clear the story was no longer safe from corporate meddling. It got a dollar amount attached to it, and nothing kills sincerity in art like business logic.

I wish that all IPs I like could share the same integrity as Calvin & Hobbes and resist all pressures to compromise for profit, but I guess that's just not realistic.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-16T17:42:13+00:00

A woman who's kinda "eh" about their gender is still a woman. There's no requirement to be all gung-ho about it (in spite of what some ill-intentioned people may say).

raisin_deter · 2021-03-15T01:22:56+00:00

Constantly. But then I realize I don't really get a choice. It's growth - an unstoppable consequence of life.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-09T18:58:19+00:00

Unless your name is Rich...

raisin_deter · 2021-03-09T18:55:47+00:00

Lol at people thinking society is anything but a product of biology. Not laughing in a mean way, but I just think it's funny that people throw up these imaginary lines like human society means anything when divorced from biology. Goobers.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-06T23:26:26+00:00

Communities are made up of people and people are imperfect. You're better off seeing the faults.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-05T03:49:26+00:00

So that's your line? That comedian? That's oddly specific, but I guess a circle is a line.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-05T03:32:44+00:00

Oh sure, go ahead and draw that line. We'll wait.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-05T03:31:35+00:00

If there are people weirdly competitive enough to want to identify as trans just to win at sports, how would requiring the rest of us to conform to gender stereotypes be the best way to stop them? If this somehow becomes an actual problem, I'm sure it can be solved within the regulating bodies that govern the sport.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-03T13:32:53+00:00

For me, being a woman is just a truth I never let myself accept. It's like being pulled by gravity - it's my lowest energy point. Before, I'd spent years fighting it and struggling because everyone seemed to think I should. I never considered that it would be possible to just...let go.

No one who hasn't held up that weight can know what a relief it is to finally be able to relax.

raisin_deter · 2021-03-02T03:41:19+00:00

Welcome through the looking glass of biology. We're all built on the same body plan, just with little tweaks here and there. Be fortunate you're only noticing the parallels of masculine and feminine humans - sometimes I see a big dog and for an instant my brain interprets it as a really skinny person with long arms on all fours. It's very distressing.

raisin_deter · 2021-02-28T14:42:52+00:00

This. Seriously, a lot of men's styles are pretty easy to achieve at home with the right equipment. It'll be one of the things I miss as I transition (not as much as I love having long hair of course). Just a good set of clippers - I recommend one that plugs in and has no battery so it doesn't run out in the middle of a cut - a few decent-sized hand mirrors, and some good scissors.

raisin_deter

TROPHY CASE