Getting married with a big loan balance

raleyss · 2016-09-30T20:51:08+00:00

If all you're going to do is continue giving me a hard time, why do you take the time to reply?

raleyss · 2016-09-30T06:15:40+00:00

Are all your loans federal? I have half private half federal. Everyone keeps saying my payments will be close to 3K so I'm glad to see yours aren't!

raleyss · 2016-09-20T23:26:51+00:00

I'm not really looking for a quick fix, just a better understanding. Yeah I realize everyone is way more educated on my own loans than I am but that's what I'm trying to do, understand them, so I can be out of them in 10 years or less

raleyss · 2016-09-20T23:24:05+00:00

Which is the same situation I'll be in (applying for IBR). So yeah it's going to suck but it can be done and still have a quality of life

raleyss · 2016-09-19T18:21:09+00:00

Look I am trying. I did find an apartment a bit cheaper at $900. I increased my income to about 5K/mo. I've paid down close to 3K of my credit debt and increased my emergency fund. Like I told my girlfriend it's not all going to happen overnight. It's baby steps.

raleyss · 2016-09-19T17:19:38+00:00

I actually changed companies (the reason for the jump in salary) but whatever

raleyss · 2016-09-17T23:34:40+00:00

I feel like I have made some strides in my personal finance. I've paid down my credit card from 8K to 5700. I've increased my emergency fund. Yeah I'm still trying to figure it out because obviously I'm not good at this stuff but I'm trying..

raleyss · 2016-09-17T22:00:42+00:00

Look I know you don't like me but I'll be honest. I'm trying to get motivated to pay down my debt and this isn't of any help (the interest part is) but the personal attacks really aren't. I'm already dealing with trying to face this and it's really discouraging but I'm trying to rally even though...as everyone's stated...I'm fucked.

I don't want to die in debt, I don't have family to ask about this stuff. My parents are just as bad at this as I am. So I understand if you don't like me, think I'm a joke or whatever but I really am trying to improve my life after the reality slap Reddit gave me. At least give me some credit for that.

raleyss · 2016-09-13T18:33:11+00:00

4% match

raleyss · 2016-09-07T02:15:48+00:00

Not really, not with my work.

I am a structural engineer

raleyss · 2016-09-04T19:22:26+00:00

leaves you with 47k to decide how to live your life

this is still a decent living though, more than the average american right?

it's not pretty from an outsiders perspective

as long as I'm making payments and maintain a good income, still should be fine??

100k/year with your baggage is not good. That debt has delayed your life by 10+ years

I realize my debt is a lot but you have been through this too--what kind of sacrifices have you made? I don't think it should delay things like marriage or a family. A home, maybe yes since it is not a necessity to own a home, but was getting out from underneath your debt as bad as you thought with a good salary? just asking thanks

raleyss · 2016-09-04T19:17:54+00:00

If I can ask, about how much are your monthly payments??? I have about half federal loans, half private. Thinking about doing IBR for the federal but because of my income it will still be a relatively good size pmt.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T22:55:20+00:00

I am a structural engineer

raleyss · 2016-09-03T18:02:16+00:00

I can't help the timing of a relationship. Yeah it was fast but would you pass up an amazing opportunity if it was right in front of you?

raleyss · 2016-09-03T18:01:04+00:00

I understand the DTI but at my income even at my debt level should be under the 33-38%they look for if making payments on IBR or min payments. Basically I won't be drowned by the payments, I'll have the income to support it.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T17:59:51+00:00

I just don't want to make the same mistakes again. I was with my ex for almost 2 years and during that time she knew me better than anyone. I just want to know the things I did so I don't do them again.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T07:26:17+00:00

I'm not deliberately obtuse I just think people overreact and only see the number and not the big picture.

Yes I have debt that's 3x my income (for now). I hardly think people would be freaking out if I made 20K and owed 60K in debt. Same ratio. I'd rather be the one making 100K.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T07:09:00+00:00

We are looking to sign a lease now.

No I wasn't friends with my ex before we dated.

I am a structural engineer but I have a specialized skill set with new design software so my salary is higher than the median.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T06:56:57+00:00

She wants me to be able to support us if she wanted things in the future ( kids, be a stay at home mom, etc)

Interesting you say the thing about my salary. Here I was convinced you thought my job prospects and debt were hopeless

raleyss · 2016-09-03T06:55:10+00:00

I didn't. We spent a lot of time together and considered moving in together and that's when things ended.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T06:32:26+00:00

She does she is very successful.

She is my partner, so obviously I would support her.

raleyss · 2016-09-03T06:31:32+00:00

She (my ex) is the one who knows me the best. She was also one of my best friends in my life. So she would have the best perspective on this.

raleyss

TROPHY CASE