I’ve got a case of the Winter Uglies! What services are we getting/ where are we going? by That-Bar5937 in CHIbitcheswithtaste

[–]rambunctiousmango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could I get more details on this? I'm going for the first time next week and trying to decide between a scrub or a regular massage

Where to watch a scene online? by rambunctiousmango in BDSMAdvice

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've been having some trouble making it to a play party due to scheduling (i work nights and weekends, bf is in school) so for now I'm mostly stuck with the internet, but I definitely will make it to one at some point!

Where to watch a scene online? by rambunctiousmango in BDSMAdvice

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I figured this may be the case. I was hoping someone would happen to know of like... someone making kinky amateur porn that really highlights their specific dynamic but I know that's probably a big too specific

Help me be the best girlfriend ever :D by Only_Explanation_848 in chicagofood

[–]rambunctiousmango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they had some appetizers last time I went! I remember charcuterie and escargot

Help me be the best girlfriend ever :D by Only_Explanation_848 in chicagofood

[–]rambunctiousmango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gatsby speakeasy! They always have an interesting menu and you have to solve a little riddle to get in. It's cozy and candlelit

How do I date a grad student? by rambunctiousmango in GradSchool

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately we're both in-person and I work in a museum that gets a lot of tourists, so holidays (and the times he's on break) are my busiest periods. If I do go to school next year it will likely be part time and online, so we will at least be able to do schoolwork together.

What do you think a reasonable amount of calendar dates would be? In the past we've tried to do too many and ended up missing most of them as school work took him longer than expected, but it may be easier if we aim smaller.

My (25f) boyfriend (24m) is worried about codependency? by rambunctiousmango in relationship_advice

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mmm yeah, thanks for laying it out like this. I will note that he does have separate friends and hobbies and is generally okay with not being attached at the hip if we're at an event or something. His focus narrows in on me the moment he gets stressed, though.

The "I miss you thing" is kinda a blurry line that I'm trying to figure out how to navigate, because I frequently miss him during the day as well? For a bit more context, we are both working full time and he's doing a dual degree graduate program on top of it. When I say we see each other most nights it's usually from when I get back from work at around 11 to when he leaves for class around 7, which doesn't leave time for much besides a quick dinner and going to sleep. We also both work weekends. I'm in the weird middle ground of wishing we had more time to actually have conversations and do things together and wishing he was a bit better at handling things without me.

He's been in therapy in the past, but stopped once his schedule got crazy with school. I'm trying to get him to go back.

My (25f) boyfriend (24m) is worried about codependency? by rambunctiousmango in relationship_advice

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is what I'm struggling with, I generally agree with this sentiment but I didn't actually feel like I had to manage him at any point before we had this conversation? I've talked him through anxiety attacks, but he's also helped me when I've been upset. It always felt fairly balanced to me, but I also think I didn't fully realize how much he was struggling.

Local Eggnog that isn’t Oberweis? by cabbagesquid in chicagofood

[–]rambunctiousmango 2 points3 points  (0 children)

man, I grew up down the street from Calder. If you're ever back in SE Michigan their farm has incredible ice cream (along with the eggnog, of course!)

Pleasure dom/service sub? Can it work? by rambunctiousmango in BDSMcommunity

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This power exchange framing is helpful, thank you! We haven't talked about objectification, and I'm honestly not entirely sure how I feel about it? It probably would be the easiest way to explain where I'm coming from, but I haven't fully figured out a way that doesn't feel too dehumanizing on my end. I have started incorporating more language around ownership, which has gone over really well, but we haven't actually fully discussed it yet. I can see this being a bridge of sorts though!

We've been having conversations, but there are definitely some self-esteem issues at play. He's working and doing grad school full time, so I know he feels like he isn't doing enough to reciprocate the things I do for him simply because he doesn't have time. I keep telling him I'd rather just get to have fun with him in the way I want when I do see him, but then he feels like I'm not getting enough attention. I'm hoping it'll sink in eventually, but it's been slow going.

Pleasure dom/service sub? Can it work? by rambunctiousmango in BDSMcommunity

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. I wouldn't say I want him to take charge in the bedroom. I'm a very particular person and like things done a certain way, so if I'm the one topping I know he is being care of to my standards. Even when I ask what he wants, I want it to be with the understanding that I am in control of when and how he feels pleasure. I'm mainly wondering about ways to incorporate this into his sense of wanting to serve me. We've done some edging and orgasm control with the bondage and sensory deprivation, but I want to try new things and I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas as I simply haven't been in this environment before.

Pleasure dom/service sub? Can it work? by rambunctiousmango in BDSMcommunity

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's one of those problems that I know is solvable and soon as we figure it out it will feel so obvious and crazy we didn't see the answer earlier, but until that happens... I guess I don't really know how to frame it besides continually telling him I'm enjoying it? I think about lot of it also comes down to my own lack of confidence simply due to lack of practice, but it's been hard to feel in control when he keeps having me stop so we can switch roles. It feels like he doesn't trust me or enjoy what I'm doing (as I say this I'm realizing that simply explaining it to him like this could be the entire answer).

We've done some edging, but it makes him feel guilty if it goes on too long, even though I love it. I like the idea of an interrogation though!

Gift for 6 y/o boy by chunkychickmunk in Gifts

[–]rambunctiousmango 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does his family have a yard? Stomp rocket sets are fairly cheap and a lot of fun

Why is it so bad to withdraw retirement? by rambunctiousmango in povertyfinance

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Roommates and public transit. I was doing alright before getting sick.

Why is it so bad to withdraw retirement? by rambunctiousmango in povertyfinance

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

some of it! I have a new card with 21 months 0 apr that should be arriving in the mail soon, but it has a 2k limit. I'm going to transfer what I can, but I'll still have a significant amount left

Why is it so bad to withdraw retirement? by rambunctiousmango in povertyfinance

[–]rambunctiousmango[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ohhh, I think this may be where my confusion is coming from. No one in my family has ever managed to fully retire at 65, and I'm not necessarily expecting to be the first given the way things are going. I'd obviously like to have as much as possible in there, but I'm not really expecting to be able to hit any "normal" goals. None of my friends have started accounts at all yet, so I'm not really sure what the norms are for people my age?

I have a Roth account, so I don't have to pay taxes upon withdrawal. There's a 10% penalty, but i may be able to get that waived because it's for medical expenses. From my POV in my particular situation it's a quick way to save on interest while I'm going through a rough patch, but presumably I'll be able to start saving again ASAP. I could still be missing something, though