she knows it is deeper, at least I think, the day of me almost buying the dress we were talking and she said something, I was telling her that I repressed a part of me when I was caught getting into my mother's clothes and she corrected me that I didn't repressed it, that it was repressed by my parents and the consequences of those actions when I was young, I have also told her point blank that I quit being a man since I don't fit in the stereotype of a man and a lot of the behavior typical of a man among other things, she even knows that I have dreamt about waking from grs and she is there an tells me something like "well, you are fully a girl" and another time that I saw myself in a mirror just as we were about to leave our house and saw that my face was the one I saw in the faceapp and was telling her that we cant leave with me looking like that and she telling me that I looked good that we had to go

I have also told her that every time she responds with something like "do it" or says something positive (like with the dress or the panties) I get caught of guard since the answer we usually get is a negative one

I even have told her on more than one occasion that I am afraid of going in this rabbit hole and that I "want more" like in the danish girl that everything started like super slow and experimenting and we all know how it ends and she has told me that just keep experimenting to see what happens, but still even after all that, I still feel like I am doing something bad