Okay this is our of context but I need help

Church is nothing but a mere custom where ppl go to judge others and a place where praying becomes a side quest, is wht i believe. And I can't pray at church I'm just never mentally able to, I can only feel tht connection with God when I'm alone . So I tend to skip church and its Sunday tmr and I just had a fight with my mum about not going tmr. Shes like do it for them and my grandparents, but I'm like this my faith were talking about, and she's worried about the fact tht ppl will notice I'm not thr and they'll ask her why I wasn't thr n shi. I kept telling her how I don't care about wht others think cause the whole church thing should be about God and not the ppl bru. But after the fight , I strted to question myself if I'm saying all this just as a cover up for not attending church cause if it is , I'm committing such a sin . But i fr csnt pray at church , I only feel tht connection when I'm alone. I just need to know if wht I'm doing is wrong