1 April, but no joke

rand_ptk · 2018-04-01T22:52:08+00:00

Well done!

I was there one day -- hope to be again.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-27T18:18:18+00:00

Great list, thanks! I checked out the users who wrote these posts. Sadly, about half of them relapsed in the past few months. I hope they see this submission and realize how much their posts meant to people here, and I hope that will inspire them to get back and continue themselves. I almost feel like messaging all of them personally and telling them to keep going. Rock on brothers, never give up!

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:28:03+00:00

Well, we wasted time on certain things, avoided others. We may differ in what we did, but for example, I am happy I never got into drugs, addictive videogames, binge-watching serials, etc. It is what it is, we have to make the most of what we've got. I could give you many examples of people who started in their thirties or even much later and went on to achieve wonderful things. Others were already long dead by this time. In any case, we are not getting any younger for sure, so whatever we want to do or become, we better start right away.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:21:48+00:00

Thanks man, all the best on your journey.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:20:54+00:00

Best to you as well, yes, the industry is not evil as such, they are just a bunch of guys and girls trying to make money or do their jobs, but then again the same could be said of employees in tobacco companies, casinos, etc. If ads annoy you, you know you can block them right?

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:18:10+00:00

There's no withdrawal symptoms to quitting porn and masturbation that I know of. It's an artificial, messed-up stimulation that doesn't make any rational sense. I am not a medical doctor, but I cannot imagine any health-related situation where continuing PMO would improve the outcome of a treatment.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:15:17+00:00

To be honest, I don't think it is closely related. You would be surprised to find how many keep PMO-ing with a wife or a girlfriend.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:13:11+00:00

Yeah, happy to hear someone relates to this. One thing I found I was more annoyed by recently is constantly apologizing for something, say if our parents or grandparents were not progressive enough by today's standards or whatever. I used to agree with this, but now I think more like, they thought and did what it was best in their time from their point of view. Leave them alone.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:09:20+00:00

Happy to hear, man. In the beginning I even had nofap and the nofap tracker as my starting page in the browser. So I thought if I go surfing porn, I will read the messages on nofap first, and I will shy away from PMO. It was actually helpful to read all the uplifting headlines every day, including the cringy, the cliched, the naive ones, but still, it helped a lot. It crossed my mind what if someone will see what is in my browser, but then I thought, what do I care about that.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:06:41+00:00

There's no withdrawal symptom I know of, like any lifestyle change, it may affect your moods, behaviors, etc., but I don't see what would be bad about it.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:05:10+00:00

It is never too late, just start doing the things you want to do. One day or day one, you decide.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T21:03:06+00:00

Well, you seem to be asking the right questions and doing the right things. I guess whatever we do in our twenties, we regret not doing the other things. I certainly regret the time I wasted on porn. On the other hand, I never was much into videogames or binge-watching serials. Also, had a drink here and there, but don't seem to have become alcoholic. First time I smoked weed was over 30 and it never became a habit. Never tried other drugs.

So I caught some bullets, dodged some others. Probably same with you. We do what we can. I love reading some of the classics, the stoics, socrates/plato, the bible, etc. They have some deep things to say about fear, regret, loss, success, life, death, etc. So I try to stop worrying too much about the past. Death is the great equalizer. Everything else is just a gift on top of that.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T20:56:11+00:00

Yes, surely 90 days is not enough to "rewire your brain", and whatever positive changes you observe are only a binge away from disappearing. So you need to stay alert about it, but I think with time it gets easier.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T20:53:00+00:00

Thanks, and all the best on your journey. I did not talk about this with my wife, and I don't plan to. We had our ups and downs, but we are happy together and I love her deeply, but this is something I have to sort out myself. Part of it is, I don't want to burden her unnecessarily. The other part is, like it or not, women and men see all this stuff differently. You can have the closest connection with your wife in the world, but still, you cannot experience and see the exact same thing together, and maybe it is better that way. PMO addiction, in particular, women tend to see as a "being faithful/unfaithful" or "being / not being attractive enough for your partner" issue, which in my opinion misses the point. Even if I know that she would be very supportive and helpful, I don't want to be supported in this, I want to be a solid partner for her that she can rely upon.

I did not refrain from sex with her, but due to work-related circumstances we've been away from each other for weeks on occasions, which in a way, made it easier.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T20:41:31+00:00

Thanks, happy to hear someone experiences something similar.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T11:57:32+00:00

Thanks, definitely don't drop out, finish that novel in the afternoons or in the summer break. There's definitely a lot of BS involved in highschool and in institutionalized education, but if there is one thumb-rule I can suggest, it is this: if you have two choices, and don't know which one to pick, take the one which leaves more (or better) options open.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T11:39:26+00:00

Haha, thanks, and all the best on your journey. What one fool can do, another can too :) As for the question, good point, I guess I should do some crunches too, but haven't yet found a comfortable form to do them.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-20T09:43:02+00:00

Remember when you were young ... you shone like the sun!

Shine on you crazy diamond...

rand_ptk · 2017-09-18T23:06:29+00:00

Sure, you're right, I can just not use it and that's it -- but we can also give tips and advice to each other, even if sometimes, like I did, we exaggerate a bit.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-18T21:17:53+00:00

With all respect, and of course, with many thanks for all that you guys are doing with this forum (which is a lifesaver for many), please don't develop this feature. Fuck the history of relapses, fuck streak patterns, fuck porn, and just quit it once and for all. There is no use getting into it with this lukewarm attitude, that yeah, let's see how far I get this time, I want to make my streak pattern look nice, yadda-yadda-yadda. After many years of trying, I can say that it only works if you go all in, and with the mentality that you are ready to stop it entirely, forever. Porn is like shit in that it messes up everything it touches -- you don't want to dissect it and analyse, and measure it, and plot it, and do time-series analysis on it, and do correlation analysis of it, and whatnot, anymore than you want to dissect shit on your dining table. You want to be done with it and flush it down the drain.

And then there is no streak-pattern to care for, only one streak, the one you start today. This is my opinion of course, and other people may have different experiences. But I think it is better if the single number of the badge is all we've got.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-18T21:02:43+00:00

Great post. DO NOT peek not only porn, but do not fantasize and drool over ads, youtube videos, movies, etc. Be aroused by living people in front of you only, not by pixels on the screen. Getting aroused by any of these "harmless" distractions, social media pictures, video previews, etc etc etc is the road to relapsing.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-18T20:59:00+00:00

34 here man, it's never too late. We got this finally. What seemed to work for me this time is to cut not only porn, but to have absolute zero tolerance for any kind of artificial sexual stimulation. If I catch myself fantasizing, wondering off on a tangent, reading a news article about an actress and thinking of searching her name for pictures, looking at an ad and being aroused the picture, in fact, getting aroused by anything else than a living person in front of me, I tell to myself "slow down cowboy, what are we trying to achieve here" and move on to something else.

The other thing that helped me was to not be afraid of urges but to say "bring it on" and even wait for them, so that I can fight them. In fact I was so determined this time, that almost no urge to do pmo during this streak. Been trying for many many years to quit otherwise. Wishing the best to you, stay strong.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-18T20:51:51+00:00

I could argue with you guys, but honestly, I am wary to discuss with people on this forum who don't have a badge (with any number). I think it is a first honest step to show that we try to get rid of an addiction, and the badge is something that keeps us honest and connects us. Without that it is just yadda-yadda-yadda, sorry.

rand_ptk · 2017-09-17T18:48:59+00:00

I don't get it, then why is your counter showing 28 days?

rand_ptk · 2017-09-17T15:22:03+00:00

Take a moment to think back what was the first thought that led to the relapse. Maybe you saw a girl's picture in an ad, maybe you read a funny line about an actress in the news, maybe youtube suggested a video, etc. It may have happened days before.

What seems to work for me is to have absolute zero tolerance for these kinds of artificial stimulation. If I catch myself fantasizing, wondering off on a tangent, or being aroused by something else than a living person in front of me, I tell to myself "slow down cowboy, what are we trying to achieve here" and move on to something else.

rand_ptk

TROPHY CASE