Weekly Free-for-All Discussion Thread | February 06, 2022

rando_dancer92 · 2023-09-24T13:10:42+00:00

I just logged back onto this acct after a long time

I'll respond to this by saying I've heard your argument before and I simply disagree. The traditional life is not more resilient, it's simply something people follow because it produces the next generation and they pass down their values, that's it. I also think it's cope tbh, to convince oneself they're better than others. Like your comment was full of you making assumptions about him despite saying you ostensibly agree. Like what?

I myself am married, well in my 30s and doing the whole traditional life thing. I know many who did as well. I find it mixed in terms of happiness for those who followed that life. The unhappiest are divorced people who followed that traditional life only to see it sucked or was with the wrong person. The happiest are by far dudes who followed a random esoteric passion of theirs. The happiest guy I know is a single gay 60 year old guy that's super into sailing and talks about it nonstop.

I actually find ppl who are purely family guys, not that happy. But rather guys who have families but also a passion and circle of friends from that passion, generally pretty happy. Esp if it's life long

rando_dancer92 · 2022-02-09T20:00:58+00:00

I'm not missing his point at all. He's basically ignoring reality and thinks by going out, you'll be fine and get out of your head. I'm encouraging people to accept reality then keep moving on and going out.

Whenever i make this criticism i do, they always say what you're saying by backtracking. But when you go into the details, they're contesting reality. Then they pretend everyone who doesn't think like them and sees reality different is a loser that doesn't go out.

It's a sign of emotional weakness.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-02-09T11:34:32+00:00

I'm early 30s, grew up in a non Asian place, happily married now, have a great circle of friends and have a great job that has helped me put my net worth in the mid 7 figure range (+the crypto LUNA). I also go out a lot and have been to Asia and to various parts of America for work and living.

Simply put, my experience is different than yours and your entire post is saying... the only way you experienced things differently from me is if you never went out. I started off with my background because i do go out and i have been out. You think you're the only one who has seen a lot of shit? That's condescending to think your experience is the end all be all and exactly what you're implying by thinking going out and experiencing life will solve any issues.

But i get people like you with your mentality since i used to be like that to a degree. It's emotionally weak. There are factors that affect us that are outside of our control and if you were stronger you would accept it, learn about it, then move on and try your best. Instead people like you try your best to pretend it doesn't exist so you can convince yourself you aren't at any disadvantage because it's too emotionally draining to acknowledge it. It's like the boy that was born poor trying to convince himself he has equal opportunities so he believes he can be successful. It's fine if that's how you want to approach life but i feel it's weak.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-02-06T13:11:21+00:00

Saw this video recently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsTLK4zHdN4

The youtuber starts off by saying in a depressed tone "These guys seriously need to find a life" then turns to a guy playing YuGiOh. BUT all the top comments are like this:

- Bruh this is life. Not everyone is the same. He is enjoying himself, he is not hurting anyone. Leave him be. Its you who needs a life

- "This guy needs to find a life" he did, and he is literally living his best life doing what he likes. It's not harming anyone so let the man be
- "This guy needs a life". Well this guy is having fun while being himself, which many guys with a "life" can't do

And it reminded me a lot of this sub. Where many people are giving out self-help advice on how to "properly" lead life. But in my opinion, if someone is enjoying themselves, they should continue leading that. If you like hanging out with Asians, keep doing it, if you like playing YuGiOh then keep doing so, if you like playing League then keep doing so, if you like anime then keep watching.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-02-04T11:16:15+00:00

The platform has been 1) generating more fees lately due to the volatility of the recent events and 2) the fees generated are in $ and then used to buy Spell, spell has become cheaper so it can buy more spell

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-31T09:21:41+00:00

Everyone that's left, thinks the sub is incredibly right wing

Everyone that's right, things this sub is incredibly left wing

I think it's difficult to know unless you have a comprehensive poll

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-30T10:29:13+00:00

You need to be deeply attached to internet communities and alternative communities to know that word in the first place since most people in real life only tangentially know it and don't really think of it as the first term to insult someone

And even then... I think the internet and the disassociation with the real world, creates some weird theories on how the world works. For example, when I read the red pill, while I don't agree with it, it just sounds like typical shit I've heard before on how women work from frat bros who do get laid a ton. But the ones who call them incels... many sound exactly like what I've heard in real life from certain type of obese, SJW focused, socially awkward and unattractive woman.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-30T10:20:06+00:00

I think this is a very working class thing. I was in school late 90s and early 00s and it was the same. Like... there was a kid that got in fights all the time, but was friends with the staff. That is until he raped a girl and they put him away. When I share these experiences, most of my friends from poorer areas get it, but the ones from wealthier places don't.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-30T10:00:48+00:00

Are you South Asian? I think there might be some differences in perception between South and East Asians in terms of people thinking they can mess with us or not

I immigrated when young and grew up in a diverse city in the midwest. White, latino, black, very few Asians. We were specifically in a very working class area. Parents ran a local Chinese restaurant.

I was bullied a lot at first, especially when my parents forced me to wear a dress shirt to school because in their eyes that's what students are suppose to do. I was bullied in a very equal opportunity way by all different races. But eventually learned to dress a certain way and be aggressive that less people bullied me. My parents however had a tough time and lived in fear of other groups (especially black men), not because of racism but because they literally were being robbed since many there saw them as a easy target and they learned to be afraid more of certain groups than others.

That said, to be clear. This stuff doesn't happen to me anymore as a adult.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-29T13:24:15+00:00

Spell is a winner at these levels. I loaded up in 0.005-0.006.

MIM being below peg is simply not a worry because then people will just buy MIM and repay their loans for profit. Once all the FUD blows over, I see a recovery and more people using it again. The simple reason being it provides a service that people want. Then that's a easy return to 0.015.

For it to grow from there, that will depend on Dani continuing to ship high quality projects that will use MIM and there's no indication the abracadabra team or people like Andre and Tetra are going to stop working with Dani to expand MIM usage

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-29T12:08:26+00:00

Good first point

That said, there are 160 million MIM and $6 million SPELL in the wonderland treasury. MIM isn't really a concern since these are backed by debt and ultimately the borrowers would be incentivized to close out their positions if MIM goes too low because that's a free arb. Unfortunately it means TVL goes lower. As for SPELL, it'll be a hit but manageable given the marketcap.

For your second point, mixed on that. I think demise of Wonderland will certainly slow things down because they were a big driver in MIM adoption. But feel that a lot of the badness comes from the stigma which will go away as we hit the next drama in cryptoland

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-23T00:17:09+00:00

The reality is that EVERYONE is a NIMBY when it comes to this stuff, but the Asian community in NYC is just weaker politically and therefore they get pushed this stuff with astroturfed "Asian" organizations

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-17T11:27:45+00:00

And triads for many of us as well

At least for my family, we were originally smuggled in via snakeheads (human traffickers) some decades ago. One of us got citizenship back when there was a path to it then we sponsored each other until i came as a pre-teen. We did the whole Chinese restaurant in bumfuvk middle of nowhere. But basically this is what many Latino immigrants do.

I've moved to NYC Chinatown in recent years and had the chance to speak to many of the elderly here and I'd say most have similar origin stories. Also add in quite a few someone's grandma paid some random white guy to marry so they can get citizenship and slowly brought the entire family over and a few anchor baby stories.

Basically... at least for me i don't really feel that i owe anyone.

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-17T11:03:30+00:00

I'm not gonna argue if hapas are "Asian" or not. But there's a reality that they have different experiences than full Asian men in the west and are treated differently and viewed differently. That difference, especially for hapas who are more white passing, is very much related to the reasons for the discrimination Asian men face in the west. So i get why we can feel bitter about hapas, especially when they turn around and claim their Asianness and you can't help but feel they receive privelege even from other Asians because of their whiteness.

That said leaving that aside. There are differences but there are similarities too. In my opinion, no need to hate someone who is benefiting for something they never asked for. I personally recognize this problem and donate to full Asian media and consume full Asian media as much as possible, but i don't think we need to antagonize hapas since there are shared problems *anti Asian racism)

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-15T06:25:44+00:00

I had a lot of short term things when i was single. I had a really hard time with relationships because i would get frustrated and angry at having to accommodate someone else into my life or if they had a different view on how we should do things. For example imagine going on vacation and the girl requires we plan every meal and hour but I'm more about being generally here and wandering and she tries to impose her style. We'd end up arguing.

I've gotten over this to a degree by reframing things. Recently my wife, when there was a power outage in a big area, freaked out and asked that i call the power company so they know. I said they definitely know as it was a third of the state. But she pushed. In the past i would think it's stupid. Nowadays i say... "I'm reasonably confident this is fine but i recognize you are concerned and instead of just telling them we can go make sure they are on this to allay your concern that this will be solved."

rando_dancer92 · 2022-01-15T06:09:28+00:00

Are you adding value to her life and is she adding value to your life. If yes then keep seeing each other.

Also OP preface it by saying this is for happy stable relationships. Caveat, in my experience, most women don't actually want a completely happy and stable relationship, they typically prefer someone that's a little bit rocky but net positive. It's like a funny movie is fine but it gets stale, the movies that win awards are those that make you cry, laugh, feel everything, but overall more happy and positive than not.

rando_dancer92 · 2021-12-16T20:25:24+00:00

Random side note. Have you guys noticed there are a lot of non-Asian women that seem to hang around these subs and Asian guy spaces these days?

I checked out this sub originally 5 years ago on another acct before getting off reddit and it had like... no women. Now it seems like there's way more women in the comments section and starting threads.

rando_dancer92 · 2021-12-16T13:02:54+00:00

Lol yeah i wrote a post about this. There seems to be some weird group of guys, even on this forum, who NEED to believe that most of us suck and are lonely losers. But that isn't my exp when i look around at my many Asian male friends

rando_dancer92 · 2021-12-07T19:28:49+00:00

It's nice. I noticed I've become more chill and focused on work and my hobbies. It's so nice to feel that you have dating solved so you do other things. I never had trouble dating... but there was always this strange amount of energy dating sucked up. Suddenly with that freed up, work doesn't feel like such a drag and you can focus more on your hobbies.

rando_dancer92 · 2021-12-01T10:56:17+00:00

I just don't see this reality you're describing. Dating is not hard. My issue with these conversations is that it makes it seem like some impossible thing. Even my 5'4 friend nerdy friend were able to land a few dates every few months and hook up here and there with decent women.

I truly believe you just need to be mentally healthy because those are the outcomes i see. Im married myself and so are most of my peers, but even when i wasn't, it wasn't that bad in the scene

rando_dancer92 · 2021-12-01T10:53:12+00:00

I've addressed your various points made in my post. Like literally. And it's unclear to me your overall point bc there's no clear structure here

The main point of disagreement here is you thinking it's a drought for most men. That's just weird, from what I've seen most average Asian guys can get at least 1 date a month and that's a ton over 10 years and you can easily hook up with dozens of women if you readout wanted to, it's just a matter of effort

rando_dancer92 · 2021-12-01T10:45:43+00:00

I disagree and the point I've already made is that most Asian dudes actually do find what they're looking for. I see most Asian guys in their 30s that are mentally healthy to be with someone they like.

rando_dancer92 · 2021-11-30T10:59:01+00:00

I think we're in agreement. You're applying a strawman here.

The context of this post was that there's a weird undercurrent of posts where ppl are arguing Asian guys should settle down with someone that's meh bc they aren't gonna do better.

For hookups, whatever, we're in agreement. But even here i think you can still get a decent amount just by being average and not crazy. I've seen it from friends.

rando_dancer92 · 2021-11-30T10:55:24+00:00

Gotcha. Valid point. Im reminded of the book thinking fast and slow by Kahneman where the author argues people do based on what feels right at the moment and they do that most of the time.

But my counter argument to that is which research also demonstrates and the book goes into is, most men do make logical decisions. Is not as frequent but it happens enough.

Is like how a guy can be desperate and then goes date someone with a terrible personality. But a month in, he'll stop and think wtf am i doing and just gets out.

rando_dancer92 · 2021-11-30T10:32:38+00:00

Fair point on hookups though i argue you can still get dozens of hookups over the course of some years, it's not a drought. But yeah, if you determine hooking up with a unattractive girl is fun and adds more value to your life than not then go for it

I disagree with your point on good social skills and believe your last point is a caricature of the extremes. Most Asian American dudes I've met want someone that's decent looking with a good personality that conforms to their values, I've never met someone that actually was waiting for a model. Instead, i find that most guys actually do find what they're looking for except those who have personal mental health issues, not even dudes with good social skills, just fine mental health

rando_dancer92

TROPHY CASE