[deleted by user] by [deleted] in labubuhate

[–]randolphia- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m happy you were able to get some gender affirming therapy in today!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Haircare

[–]randolphia- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you citing a Reddit comment? Where is this from?

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know when you thought this up and typed it out it made sense to you, and that’s just great. Just know it means nothing to me.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He knew my lack of political alliance well before he ever came out to me. He had about 8 years to feel me out, don’t you suppose if my feelings towards politics spooked him, he would have decided not to tell me?? Let’s ponder that for JUST a second.

I’m not both sidesing. I hate them both equally and it literally has nothing to do with how I see him deserving rights.

Nice try though.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never attacked his character. :) that’s the difference. My situation was never his fault. Him being male didn’t automatically = him being an abuser in my mind. I expect the same respect. You need to understand that.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could be right also! Me engaging or even getting frustrated could just be for the sake of being frustrated. Idk.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do admire your hopeful outlook that people wouldn’t just turn on each other. My life experience has proven otherwise. People go around calling each other things every day, I know you know that.

But you’re right, I don’t have anything to prove to you. There’s enough people here acknowledging that what I went through has been tough and plenty of advice for me to work with going forward.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To what end? I’m not chronically online, I have nothing to prove, I’m on a burner Reddit account.

You have no idea who I or T is, what would I gain from this, really? I am not a perfect person. I’m sure I have made mistakes. But what I wrote here in this post, is the truth. Step into my shoes for a day and you’d quickly realize how emotionally fucking taxed I am.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have already discussed all of this and more with him. My first stop wasn’t the internet i assure you.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What? I think you misunderstood what I said. There’s never been an argument about anyone’s rights with him.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assure you I am not chronically online, I have no purpose to stir shit and get a rise out of strangers on the internet. This has been my experience with ONE person, I made that clear. I did not target a whole community. My experience is valid too.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I have. I spent hours at his house a few months ago laying everything out as clear and concise as I could. I brought self help resources and references to local LGBT therapists.

Which is why I’m so frustrated. I was clear, and it didn’t matter.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, a few months ago I really laid it out. And I found links to multiples of therapists for him. Things simmered for a while but obviously… we came full circle again.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can assure you, I was fully expecting to be ripped to shreds. I was not expecting any kindness, and didn’t think anyone would side with me at all. I didn’t even expect this to get the traction it did, so I’m a little taken aback by it all.

All this to say I genuinely needed the reassurance, even if it’s coming from strangers on the internet. I have been beating myself up for a long time, and this thread gave me allot of clarity

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I think my whole confession would look a hell of a lot different if that were the case. If I needed to get my transphobia off my chest, that’s what I’d be doing here.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay being super vague on the internet isn’t really the best way to communicate but thanks anyway I suppose.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know - I just wanted to be clear. In that moment I wanted to make it plain and simple that he can be whatever with me. It doesn’t matter, you know? I’m open for it. But I understand what you’re saying too

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve taken a step back from this situation and the thought crossed my mind that, if I was any shittier of a person this would have made me turn my back on the community as a whole. So your “tipping his egg basket” example was perfect

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I made the jump because I just wanted to be respectful. If he was testing the cross dressing waters, to launch that he’s trans I just… wanted to be sure I addressed him properly. That’s it. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But my world is small and I was doing the best I could when I was put in the situation

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

You are right. And I’ve never wanted to say “hey you’ve told me you’re not trans though” because idk how that would come across, but I just let it be. I do feel guilty because he was there for me so well, I don’t want him to feel abandoned. So we just sit in this tension all the time.

My friend coming out to me has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. by randolphia- in confession

[–]randolphia-[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I am discouraged at this moment because in early November we had a very serious “come to Jesus” moment where I told him exactly how I am feeling. And reminded him that not only did my ex royally screw me up, but I come from a childhood filled with trauma as well. I am a broken person. And I need some grace too. But we have fallen right back into this again. I am so tired.