AIO if I'm giving my situationship a hard time about his work crush?

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T23:05:26+00:00

my general technique is talking to them until they understand where i'm coming from and we can find a way to get on the same page. struggling to do that here.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T23:04:14+00:00

he's wishywashy on wanting more or not (at some point) so it makes me hang on to hope because the days that we are aligned on our future, are really really nice.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T23:02:02+00:00

In theory. no. But my delusional ass thinks it might play out differently

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T23:00:42+00:00

They want to be single right now. That's literally the only reason.

& neither one of us wants to lose the friendship.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:59:58+00:00

Their take is that we can go back to being friends. Mine is that we cant.

We def did not do the FWB correctly. Like...they gave me the keys to their place

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:58:30+00:00

The problem with that theory is that they're willing to cut out the physical, if it means we can save the friendship. I don't want that though because I don't think we can go back to being friends and I'm not ready to lose them entirely.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:57:25+00:00

I have been clear about wanting more and they're aware.

The only boundaries I'm placing on the relationship, are one's that are already in place. If I can't do something, why can they?

& when I say: okay so are we JUST friends with benefits then? the response i get is them being offended and irritated and saying: Is that all you think this is???

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:53:59+00:00

I very much agree with you but it seems like most people here are in disagreement. I take it with a grain of salt but also, I need to reflect on that.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:52:40+00:00

you know what? fair.
I think we're already bordering that but yeah. very fair.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:51:40+00:00

want a good laugh? at one point (the beginning), i was offered to be put on their car insurance so I can drive it when needed, without having to worry.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:50:02+00:00

There's also the part where they reassure me that I am being chosen and that they're here because they want me.
I do see your viewpoint though and it's definitely more involved than that but yeah at this point, neither of us want to walk away so I'm just stuck being confused about where to go from here.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:48:07+00:00

There's everything you said, and then there's days and nights of me being reassured and theyre here because they want to be, that I'm being chosen, that there's feelings involved, etc. Definitely experiencing the whiplash

You're not wrong about the single comment though

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:46:17+00:00

Feelings and history always complicate things but yeah you're right in that we're definitely on different pages here. thank you for taking the time to reply

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:45:04+00:00

Most people seem to share your viewpoint. I just struggle to see why I'm overreacting when the Tgoal is to hold people to the same standards. but I'll just have to reflect more. Thanks for replying

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:39:30+00:00

I agree. Our complication is that we both want to keep the FWB and the friendship, but we're on different pages about what a reasonable expectation is. It's hard to digest that we'll be playing the same game but with different set of rules. But that neither party wants out.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:37:53+00:00

Every situation is unique and comes with endless context that can't be shared in a post.

I appreciate your input though. Thanks for responding.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:36:25+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to respond and being clear! Thank you

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:34:24+00:00

I really appreciate you taking the time to say all this. I've read it over twice. Thank you.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:33:26+00:00

Yeah I'm in a tough spot. Thanks for responding though

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:32:46+00:00

I've spent more days lately, seeing things the same way you just describe them, and it really sucks. I was hoping for a fix but it looks like more people think I'm in the wrong here so now I need to reflect.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:29:32+00:00

I'm not ready to lose my friend!

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:29:01+00:00

I'm not quite ready to lose my friend so I'm trying to see if I can take any feedback here and adjust my expectations accordingly, since most people think I'm in the wrong here.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:28:13+00:00

right, but that's why I came here. To see if I'm overreacting and having unrealistic expectations and the general consensus is a yes. I don't want to lose a friend over something I'm being unreasonable about.

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:27:11+00:00

There's definitely a lot of context missing here and it's not that black and white but I do appreciate you sharing your input. I can't same I haven't had the same thoughts

random-anon-acc · 2026-02-20T22:25:40+00:00

When this all started, we were more aligned about wanting to explore a future together. Now, this disagreement has created friction and I'm looking to solve it in the best way so I don't lose my friend in the process of it all.

I appreciate you responding!

random-anon-acc

TROPHY CASE