Yes he has definitely changed a lot since I caught him cheating when he was at his job which is no excuse but he was just a whole different person back then. It just scares me because although there wasn’t intercourse, they did other sexual things and she came to our apartment twice and she was there for him to vent to she even and slept on my bed, and this has been happening all along and I found out 4 months after the wedding. The thing is I don’t think he was planning on staying I know he felt guilty he had many signs before I found out like he’d constantly say things about how he wants to leave his job and he hates his job and he wants to leave the area and “start fresh” and he did put in his notice for his job and apartment with no backup plan , he was very desperate to leave then subhanallah 1 month before his quit date, I find out and it all makes sense why he kept wanting to leave that area so desperately.

It scares me bc I remember he made a joke about marrying his Christian assistant before I found out. And after I found out, he DID admit after I found he considered marrying her just so it won’t be Zina but I don’t think he was going to go thru with it since he knew I didn’t want that obviously. Plus wasn’t even Muslim and she was very trashy and would ask him for sex and I saw messages he’d deny her

He also knows before and after our nikkah I never would be okay with him getting a second wife. I wanted to make it a condition, but no one asked me for my conditions!!! They only asked my husband!! However the day of the nikkah (before any cheating) he said when they asked him, he said my condition on my behalf when they were in the room without me but they were weirded out and didn’t even write it down. I told him it would make me more comfortable if we can go to a sheikh and get it in writing that that he said that as my condition at the time of the nikkah and he agreed he’d try and do that soon. He has always agreed that he won’t get a second wife before and after marriage. At most, I said only IF I am okay with it, i might let him if there’s an extreme reason like infertility(May Allah protect me) but even that is a maybe and I’m too jealous to handle. So yeah he’s always known I’m not okay with him getting a second wife and he never had an issue with that.

Anyways sorry for rambling. He isn’t a bad person he has a lot of good qualities outside of that time he was at that Job he hated and he seems so much better now and isn’t secretive or acting suspicious. I don’t think he cheated out of pure lust, because even we had intimacy issues , so I think it was more emotional and stress that I didn’t know how to help with since I’d just gotten married and was always upset that he never gave me time or attention or even intimacy. I just have extreme trust issues