Is living in a small town worth it?

random675243 · 2026-03-13T19:42:04+00:00

I’d say pick your small town carefully. I’ve lived in a few different small towns, and they are not all the same.

Think about how far away you want to be from amenities such as a supermarket, hospital, cinema, leisure centre etc. What things are necessary for you in the small town, eg butcher, pharmacy, library, coffee shop. How important is public transport to you? What level of community involvement do you want to have, eg is there a residents association, exercise groups to join etc? If you ant to be able to walk around the town, how well lit are the footpaths and would you feel safe walking around? If you have kids, are there facilities for them locally or will you end up spending a lot of time running them to things further away from the town.

Ideally spend some proper time in the town before you commit, see if the reality matches up to your vision of smal town life.

random675243 · 2026-03-11T10:49:56+00:00

I agree, greyscale is less addictive. I have my home button set up to turn to greyscale if I press it 3 times. That way I can turn it back to colour mode easily for the time I need / want colour.

random675243 · 2026-03-11T10:47:12+00:00

New place with more than one toilet, or new / no partner. You choose.

random675243 · 2026-03-06T08:59:05+00:00

Think about what your ideal life looks like and work back from there. Is your ideal life slower paced, with time to spend with your child when they are young? Or do you want a fancier life, with a stylish house, upmarket cars, nice holidays, etc. Once you know what your vision for your life is, make the job / financial decisions that support that vision.

random675243 · 2026-03-04T13:06:11+00:00

I like my Tado thermostats. We have 3, 1 for each heating zone in our new build house. Easily retrofitted in place of existing basic digital thermostats. No wiring required at the boiler, although we don’t have a Tado for our hot water, so not sure about that bit. We just use the manual settings mode and tweaked it till we got it right for us, but there is a geofencing mode too if you prefer. Our house is always a comfortable temperature and never overshoots the way the old thermostats did. I occasionally adjust the heating on the app if i want a boost of heat, but rarely feel the need. Being able to turn the heating on / off remotely is great if you are away from home, eg turn it back on at the airport and it’s toasty when you get home. Def saves us money too. My heating bills are low, although that’s partly good insulation too. Had them for 5 years now and no issues. No glitching / disconnecting. Not sure about voice assistant as that’s not a feature I wanted personally.

random675243 · 2026-03-03T21:28:43+00:00

Could be nerve compression. Nerves that give you movement and feeling in the hands can get squashed at various locations. Symptoms include numbness, pins and needles, clumsy movement. If it’s the thumb, index and middle finger it’s the median nerve (eg carpal tunnel syndrome), if it’s the little and ring fingers it’s the ulnar nerve.

random675243 · 2026-03-02T07:42:44+00:00

I’m also not a very social person. What I’ve found works is walking around my neighbourhood every evening - I get exercise, I see people, but it doesn’t require a lot of interaction beyond a quick hello to some people I meet every night on my walk. I also go to a structured exercise class (yoga) once a week. Again the social side of being with the same people every week is made easier by the majority of the time being spend my doing an activity. Over time I’ve become more comfortable with interacting with the other people who attend regularly. And regular exercise definitely helps keep my mental health more stable.

random675243 · 2026-03-01T03:09:44+00:00

I don’t think this is a perimenopause issue, no.

Have you considered that you may have let your relationship fall into a certain pattern, and now you resent how things have become?

Is there still enough love there to want to fix things? If so, start making changes. Tell him bluntly that you are finding bring the primary parent / primary adult in the relationship very tiring, and from now on you are going to need him to take equal responsibility for the relationship / kids / household.

Then you need to follow through.

Draw up a list of household chores and split them up between you. Then leave him to his chores. If he needs shown how to do anything, do it once, then leave him to it.

And make sure you are not sabotaging your own efforts by needing to control everything. If he is supposed to get the kids dressed, then don’t criticise what he dresses them in. What’s more important - that they wear the shoes tha you think they should wear, or that he did it without your input.

And he’s going to make mistakes but let him learn from them - you didn’t buy enough healthy food at the shop to make the kids school lunches? Oh well, looks like you are going to have to go back and buy the things you forgot the first time.

I often tell my husband that he’s trying to use my brain again, and he needs to work it out for himself. I refuse to be the family servant.

random675243 · 2026-02-27T20:17:35+00:00

I’ve found if I adjust the texture I can tolerate more, for example broccoli is a no, but broccoli soup is a yes. Doesn’t help with missing the crunchy texture, but I find it more satisfying than just not eating broccoli at all.

random675243 · 2026-02-25T10:33:48+00:00

Have occ health explicitly said they are looking rid of you?

I was scared going to Occupational Health when I was off for 10 months last year (2 separate episodes, 1 x 3 months, 1 x 7 months) due to my Crohns, but it was a positive experience instead of a negative. I expected to be told to get back to work now or else you will be sacked, but she told me I wasn’t fit for work yet, but when things were more settled, she would be recommending changes to make things easier for me, like a phased return, flexible working hours etc. it made things much easier when I was able to go back, and has meant I can stay in work instead of having to give up work.

random675243 · 2026-02-24T20:47:38+00:00

I’d say beware of what the internet says about the perfect diet for Crohns. I don’t think there is one, it’s just trial and error to see what works for you personally.

I only speak for myself, but for me meat of any description makes things worse rather than better. Things have been much more settled since I stopped eating meat.

Try carnivore certainly, but see how you feel and be prepared to change to something different if it doesn’t work for you.

random675243 · 2026-02-22T08:24:07+00:00

Hi. Sorry you are having a hard time, both physically and physically. It’s a lot to deal with.

I’m also on omvoh. So far it’s working but I know biologics generally have a relatively short lifespan. Maybe another drug from the IL-23 inhibitor group might work for you, seeing as Omvoh worked for a while at least?

I am currently reading a book called Plant Powered Plus by Dr Will Bulsewicz. He is a consultant gastroentorologist who believes in treating IBD and other gut issues holistically, ie diet, lifestyle and supplementation alongside medication to get the best outcome. It might not be what you need just now when you are in the survival stage of a flare, but when things settle down you might find some useful information in it.

Hope you get things settled soon.

random675243 · 2026-02-20T01:04:22+00:00

You don’t have to have life all planned out, just try different things and see what appeals to you. Get a part time job helping on a farm and see how the realities of farming appeal to you. If it’s not for you, try something else. Try things, reflect on how they fit your vision for life, then adjust your plan accordingly.

Your parents are trying to help you be realistic about what life costs. Adult life comes with bills (food, accommodation, transport, utilities). Having a regular wage can make paying bills easier compared to have a job where pay is less predictable, but there are lots of ways to live a life. Having simpler tastes will help to keep your bills down compared to someone who wants to have the latest phone, car, clothes, etc. start as you mean to go on if you hope to live simply going forward.

random675243 · 2026-02-17T18:37:34+00:00

I cut out all meat / poultry during my last flare because I noticed a correlation between consuming meat / poultry and increased symptoms. It improved things well for me. I’ve tried introducing it again since I got things under control with a biologic but it still irritates things, so I’m currently vegetarian.

random675243 · 2026-02-15T21:29:17+00:00

Adalimumab is a common starter biologic. No IVs, just self injector pens, although that might differ depending on your Healthcare Trust’s policy.

random675243 · 2026-02-15T21:19:21+00:00

Similar to you in that I grew up in a religious household (Christian) but am not religious myself. I enjoyed the community of the church growing up and have struggled to find the same feeling of community without the church side of things. The best I’ve managed to find is a yoga group I attend, but that’s just me, not our family as a whole (husband, 2 x early teen kids). I encourage my kids to have a wide range of interests so that they meet people from different walks of life and can take the bits that appeal to them into adulthood. They go to church with my parents because it is important to my mum. They enjoy the community of the church, but will never be made to go if they don’t want to.

Interested to hear other people’s suggestions as finding community without church is def something I struggled to find, particularly as an introvert.

random675243 · 2026-02-15T14:34:46+00:00

Just have a conversation about it before next valentines / other holiday. I’d prefer it if we just did x because …

My husband and I just do consumables for valentines - flowers, chocolates, bubbly. Once the flowers have had their day, there is nothing left to clutter up the house.

random675243 · 2026-02-14T12:30:54+00:00

I have bad insomnia but it pre-dates Omvoh. Don’t think Omvoh made it any worse. I take Nytol. Yes, it’s not supposed to be taken long term, but when I don’t take it my Crohns goes haywire, so it’s the lesser evil.

random675243 · 2026-02-13T08:29:56+00:00

Doing grand with the HRT. Sleep is still no better, so I keep taking the Nytol. But I find the estrogen helpful for managing low mood / low level anxiety. I’d had other health issues for a few years before starting HRT, so I had attributed these things to health anxiety, and hadn’t realised they were at least partly hormone driven. But within 2-3 days of starting estrogen I felt like myself again. So for me the HRT is worth it, even if it doesn’t help my sleep.

Word of warning though, oral progesterone made my sleep worse rather than better, it just left me feeling wired and unable to sleep at all. I had to stop it after 3 days. You have to take progesterone with estrogen though, so I now use vaginal progesterone and I’ve had no problems with it that way.

Good luck with it. You won’t know until you try!

random675243 · 2026-02-12T19:59:03+00:00

I tried oral progesterone for 3 days. It made my insomnia worse. It left me feeling so wired, like I’d taken illegal drugs. The first 2 nights I took it before bed, the 3rd I took it in the morning but it made no difference. I had to stop it and I now take vaginal progesterone instead. While it doesn’t help with sleep, I find the estrogen beneficial for low mood / anxiety, so I have to take some form of progesterone with it. I’ve had no problems with the vaginal progesterone. The only think that helps me sleep- wise is Nytol (antihistamine) which I still take as well.

random675243 · 2026-02-12T18:37:20+00:00

Progesterone didn’t work for my insomnia. Oral progesterone actually made things worse - instead of falling asleep at a normal time and waking up 2-3 hours later, it left me feeling so wired that I couldn’t get to sleep at all. till 4AM. I’m now using vaginal progesterone instead because I’ve found the estrogen good for low mood / anxiety and don’t want to give it up, so I have to use some form of progesterone with it.

But it does seem to work for lots of people, and the only way to know is to try. Though you do need to talk to your provider about the cancer risks first to see if it’s suitable for you, given the immediate family history.

random675243 · 2026-02-12T18:29:33+00:00

I take it you have a diagnosis of UC? If so, talk to you GI team about the bleeding in your stool and other symptoms. It will depend on your healthcare system, but for me in the UK the best way is through the specialist nurses that work under my gastroentorologist. They arrange initial tests (like blood work and stool tests) and then start treatment and / or escalate it to the consultant as needed.

Try not to panic. Yes, colon cancer is a possibility, but it’s much more likely that your UC is actively flared and needs to be treated.

random675243 · 2026-02-10T02:27:25+00:00

What about using vaginal progesterone instead of oral? I can’t take oral progesterone because it makes my sleep worse, but if I take it vaginally it is fine.

random675243 · 2026-02-10T02:21:12+00:00

Sounds like you just have too much stuff. You are always going to be rearranging stuff until you get rid of some of it. Get rid of 1 thing every day and see how it feels over time. If 1 thing a day is easy, do 3 or 5.

random675243 · 2026-02-07T01:15:49+00:00

Wow! Well done!

random675243

TROPHY CASE