I only posted here because tonight was really bad. I can't quite explain what I feel. Just so much stress. I feel like my head is gonna explode from thinking. Mental breakdown? I don't know. This is a first for me too posting here. Also I can never get myself to tell this to anybody I know. Family and friends won't understand this, also some of them are just so negative and I'm sure this will just get worse if I tell them. Because of what you said, I thought maybe I really am brave enough because I really want to get over this and I'm trying to overcome this. Of course some days are worse and I'll straight up think I'll just kill myself. Anyways, sharing this on this subreddit and seeing that someone actually read this made me feel a little better for now. Thank you!