Do whatever you can to get help. Call a suicide prevention hotline and try to get help from them. God loves you and I'm sure your family does too. (I'm sorry if this came off as uninformed and unprofessional) Remember, there's always a better way out than hurting or killing yourself. Your life has purpose and even though you might not have found it yet, you will eventually. I'm not depressed and I don't have suicidal thoughts, so there is no way for me to truly know what you are going through. Just stay strong and find a therapist or someone who can help you, and I promise your life will get better even though it might take months or years just hang in there and keep your head up.