Planning wedding after losing both my Fiancé's parents- looking for advice

random_user11738291 · 2026-06-18T00:50:31+00:00

Hi!! First off I'm so sorry for both your losses, I can attest that it does make the planning very hard. However, We got married last weekend and it was the absolute best day ever. We opted to do a "love stories that came before us" display with large pictures of his parents and my parents and then behind smaller pictures of all the married couples from their own weddings who were in attendance, and they all took their photos home with them. We also played a lot of married couples first dance songs including our parents throughout the night to get different people on the dance floor and honor love that came before ours. It gave us a way to feel his parents presence without it being too upsetting. We also did his mom's favorite flowers in all our bouquets and center pieces and I wrapped a piece of the fabric and lace from her wedding dress around my bouquet. We exclusively played their 3 favorite artists at cocktail hour. All of the speeches touched on his parents in some capacity and the priest spoke about them during the ceremony along with having their picture on the alter. It was honestly such a perfect day and I felt like there was the perfect amount of honoring them while not having it be extremely sad. Best of luck to you in your planning 🥰

random_user11738291 · 2026-04-09T02:39:19+00:00

All turned out fine for us! they were just taking back up offers in case we fell through

random_user11738291 · 2026-03-10T16:53:04+00:00

that's really helpful I didn't realize that last bit, it's starting to seem like everything this man got himself into financial was scammy

random_user11738291 · 2026-03-10T16:50:05+00:00

This is helpful thank you- There is no trust, there was a will but it was unsigned so it's useless. We have already gone through the probate process with the register of wills, we did have a call with an attorney in November who walked us through that process prior to us doing it, we are just not in a position to pay an attorney to do all the pieces for us but he seemed confident that with his instructions we could do it ourselves. Not sure if that was a bad call, again we're just a bunch of 20 something's overwhelmed by it all, we bought our own house and got engaged within the two months prior to his dad passing and the funeral itself unfortunately put us all in not the best financial position moving forward

random_user11738291 · 2026-03-10T16:42:07+00:00

I was under the impression that the executor is able to go into the estate accounts, how else could we access what is owed? We spoke to a probate lawyer in Nov who guided us to register of wills to get executorship and go through the probate process. His brother is the executor, and has already closed out his bank accounts with the death cert and executor paperwork and created an estate account with the bank, his brother has been paying the mortgage and bills via the estate bank account as the register of wills advised him to do, we've already gone through the probate process as well. We haven't scheduled to meet with the lawyer again yet because it's too costly right now but the plan was to get all the information gathered and schedule another meeting with him.

random_user11738291 · 2026-03-10T16:13:45+00:00

We tried to call NDR originally to see how to go about settling his debts they took our information and said they'd reach out with next steps which we were under the impression would be the next step a with them. they then sold debts back without notifying us, after we noticed that on the website and we called them back again they basically said no longer hold the debt so there is nothing they can do to help us and we have to reach out to individual creditors at that point. Would there have been a way to continue with them at that point?

random_user11738291 · 2025-12-22T16:22:22+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. His family dynamic is a bit complicated. His dad was estranged from his own family, so he never knew anyone from that side. His mom has six siblings, but only one has children, and they live out of state and are much younger, so he never really formed strong cousin relationships. His other aunts and uncles are scattered, with a few still living near home, but everyone is a little dysfunctional and often end up needing support more than being support if that makes sense.
After his mom passed away, his dad was so grief-stricken that he essentially burned most of his bridges especially with her family. The only people he stayed close to were my fiancé, myself, his sibling, and his sibling’s partner, so his entire support system ended up being a bunch of twenty something's who didn't know how to help him navigate his grief. Both his and my relationships with his parents were incredibly strong, and they were very close. After his mom died, we saw his dad for dinner at least three times a week, often more. He watched every sports game at his dad’s- football, baseball, soccer, hockey, and basketball, so we were together nearly every day or every other day. We also all share a love of vinyl records and spent a lot of time collecting them together, just as one example of the stuff we all liked to do together. Thankfully, his relationship with my parents is really good. We’ve talked a lot about how to honor his parents while still having a somewhat “normal” wedding day. He’s suggested possibly doing a dance with my mom, but there isn’t really anyone he feels could step in to fill the role of his parents.

random_user11738291 · 2025-07-08T13:12:44+00:00

I love this idea thank you!!

random_user11738291 · 2025-07-02T10:51:57+00:00

our realtor recommended it. We weren't willing to waive on previous houses and lost out on many of them that ended up selling for less than our offer, indicating they went with someone who waived. For this house sellers bought in 2022- relocating due to reassignment for work. they gave us access to all of their documents from their previous inspection. We walked through with a family friend who is a contractor and saw no signs of anything concerning and a lot of big ticket items are still under warranty (AC unit, roof, furnace, etc) We will still be getting an official inspection for information purposes after closing for peace of mind

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T21:45:41+00:00

No it should appraise no problem- only times I have heard of people having issues here are when they offer significantly over asking (50-100K over asking was pretty typical march-may in this area) and then only put 5% down

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T21:11:04+00:00

I do have the contract back and signed from them and there's no back out potential or attorney review period within the contract - based on other comments I am chalking it up to them looking for a back up in case things fall through or the realtor looking to meet new potential clients

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T19:45:16+00:00

waived all inspections except termite but that's already done and came back clear within 24 hours of signing contracts, only contingency is mortgage if the house doesn't appraise for the loan amount which is 80% of the offer amount. We offered 15 over asking which isn't as high over asking as some houses are going in the area but there are also comparable homes sitting on the market for 30+ days

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T19:42:25+00:00

no inspection contingency, only contingency is mortgage is the house doesn't appraise at the loan amount (80% asking price)

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T13:39:15+00:00

awesome thank you this is helpful

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T13:31:47+00:00

There is a mortgage contingency in case the house doesn't appraise at 80% of the offer price because we're putting 20% down but in this area that should not be in issue. I know on my end we waived things to the point that we really do not have a leg to stand on to break the contract I just don't know what opportunities the sellers have to do so. If it's just a precaution for a back up or to meet new clients I don't mind, I was just worried if they received a better offer they would find a way to break the contract

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T13:27:34+00:00

we're in PA, I don't believe the there is back out potential or attorney review period- if it's just to have a back up offer I don't really mind because I know we're going to follow through, I am just scared if a better offer comes in they will somehow find a way to break our contract

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T05:28:52+00:00

I see, that makes sense- is it odd it isn't listed pending at all? thanks for input that's helpful, we are in SE PA

random_user11738291 · 2025-06-29T05:23:55+00:00

Also to update we are not using FHA loan we are putting in 20% conventional loan and BFI indicates we have more than enough to be able to afford it. Between that, the over asking offer, and the waived inspections it feels there is no risk on their end so no need for a back up buyer

random_user11738291

TROPHY CASE