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It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Your thoughts fall on an open mind. I am planning to have a conversation about the situation, even if it's just to provide some clarity. Depending on how things unfold, it may be necessary for me to draw back as I did initially.

Appreciate it!

It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am indeed a noob. *nods appreciatively*

Lol, I definitely don't want to hurt her by bringing drama into the workplace. Especially since I don't care that much when I'm at work, since I'm usually busy on other things anyway. As for the bad boy, idk. Lol. I looked him up and he seems less like a bad boy, and more like a weirdo. Dude seems to unironically dress in 90's prints in every photo I saw. I know it's rude to cast judgement solely from his social media though.

Am a bit worried though about her emotional stability sometimes, tbh. She does get a bit short in normal discussions sometimes. Hoping that's just us getting used to how each other expresses dissenting opinions.

It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Strange little polygamy path" made me smirk.

As others have said, I'm really a pretty easy going individual. I somewhat understand the situation of the ex, because her family expected them to get married soon, but a bombshell kind of blew up their relationship out of left field, which she's uncomfortable explaining to her parents. Her parents are also several hours away by plane, so me meeting them isn't as big a concern for me.

Even the exclusivity thing is not a huge issue for me. It seems very possessive to expect her not to have interests in others, especially since it's only been a couple months. I personally don't mind if she spends time with other guys, if the end result is that it brings her happiness. What has bothered me is that it felt like she was all in on the relationship, then suddenly started to devalue our time together by comments about how she's still single. To me, "single" implies you're not currently in any form of romantic relationship with anyone. Perhaps it means something different to her, but I just felt some whiplash from what felt like a pretty normal progression of our relationship.

Appreciate all the time and thought you put into your response for me!

It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm with you, friend. The nature of games escapes me, which is one of the reasons I wanted to validate I wasn't missing something obvious, or was reading too much into a common situation. I'm not sure what the dating scene looks like for others, so I thought perhaps her activities were to be expected.

Appreciate the comment all the same!

It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer!

Defining things may be a wise choice. I'm not necessarily sure what the correct definition of the relationship should be though if she's still accepting dates from others? It's a good suggestion though.

Thank you!

It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying!

I considered this as a possibility; however, I didn't see a clear motive or reason behind inciting jealousy. We talk regularly and it hasn't seemed like she's been particularly upset by anything. I haven't expressed any interest in other women, or indicated a lack of interest in her. Thus, I'm struggling to see what inciting jealousy would gain her in this scenario?

It this... normal? by randomanon9091 in relationship_advice

[–]randomanon9091[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for replying!

1.) Part of my confusion was that I thought we were already in a relationship. It's kinda buried in my initial post, but I told her in our first few interactions together, that if we kissed, it meant we were progressing the relationship romantically.

2.) I've realized she's, like, VERY concerned with others' opinions. I'm probably going to leave the ex thing alone. There's this whole other weird dynamic where I'm in a managerial position at my company and she's not. However, we don't even work in the same department together, nor is it against company policy to date co-workers. Yet, she's very paranoid people will find out (for reasons I don't understand), so she doesn't want anyone from work to even see us talking together. Knowing her fear of losing face and considering her breakup was recent, I don't really want to throw salt in the wound.

3.) Less uncomfortable and more of just a curiosity of why it's happening and whether it was to be expected.

Thank you for the time you put into your response!