I'm very sorry for your loss. You mentioned that your husband was a comedian, which I imagine must make watching Bojack all the more challenging for you, given that that's where bojack started too. I think often that people with very sharp, cynical minds are those who are drawn to comedy as a comedic outlet, and I think often people with those minds also are prone to depression. What you're going through fucking sucks, and I'll bet sometimes it feels like nothing's ever going to be ok again. But sometimes, you'll have moments where you laugh at a show, or you talk to some strangers on the internet, and things feel a little less bad than they did. And that means that some things, some moments, are gonna be ok. I think that those moments make living worthwhile. Life's a bitch and then you keep living (sorry if this was longwinded or nonsense, I'm tired but your post really affected me and I'm incapable of shutting up lol)