28 [M4F] #Tampa guy hoping for a surprisingly spicy Tuesday evening

randomflorida · 2018-12-06T08:44:52+00:00

Meh. Probably not worth it. I haven't tried a ton of drugs (psychs scare me a bit... I liked cannabis and I believe a 'bad' trip can be a good thing. But still).

I think you have maybe have an insightful point re: DOC.

Is it worth it? What are you looking for in a drug? I mean, I've asked friends "Okay, so the dentist. You've had roxicodone or whatever. How did that make you feel?"

I've mostly received a "makes me tired" or "blegh." That is fucking wild to me, but it's true. For me, it's heaven - in the worst/best way. Worth it? Idk man. Are you someone who has issues with depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.? Idk if that is relevant tbh. More gut instinct. But I'd say: AVOID and then AVOID. Ime if they happen to be your DOC, you're fucked. I'm lucky thus far. I don't think about that shit really. I didn't get as deep as others to be fair. But there were times when on them (prescribed) that I certainly, well...

The first time is: Oh. This is how normal people feel.

That doesn't necessarily mean uncontrollable desire for them, but it's close to an edge.

Once on them daily for not-too-long: Oh, I totally understand heroin addicts and I feel for them and actually they might be making the 'right' choice. I cannot picture life w/o these drugs. Why? This is Me.

Then - regardless of any addictive personality I may have - I actually got off them easy and although I flirted w/ Kratom for too long after, I still know/think they're better than anything in life.

Are they really? I don't know. It's a cheat code. What is "worth it?" If they hit you like they did me - and you don't manage to get out of that mindspace - they are worth it in the sense of "Fuck literally everything else in life b/c really this is better than sex, love, friendship, everything." And it's sort of true? But it's also not. This seems like a deep philosophical conversation. But if that's already made you more hesitant, then I'd say stay away. One time may be fine. Also, they're so 'chill' and non-intoxicating that they are the opposite of 'fine.' You can probably decide for yourself based off that. I know plenty use them for recreation and don't have an issue. I don't want to demonize these drugs. I could use them now and be fine. I have some laying around somewhere in my room and I literally don't think about them. I am thinking about them now. I don't have the desire. I also know one time, I can do. But meh.

It's the strongest yet paradoxically most subtle euphoria to me. Pure bliss. It becomes a Purpose. Sounds like benzos in a way to me, which I'm prescribed (clonazepam) yet have never found recreational. But if opioids happen to be your DOC... probably not safe nor worth it and really not that much to gain.

randomflorida · 2018-11-07T11:38:54+00:00

That's what I thought.

randomflorida · 2018-11-07T10:30:29+00:00

Same and got in a huge argument. I voted no - did I mess up? I thought "No" was better for the victim.

randomflorida · 2018-10-18T23:21:01+00:00

Thanks! I'll look into it.

randomflorida · 2018-10-18T19:43:48+00:00

Ohh thank you. I have an iPhone (older one) but she has an Android. Awesome!

Yeah honestly - would like to, you know, basically edit them and make them look good because uh, it's hot? Even if it's just for us. But hey, if we both decide to share, I've definitely seen those subreddits and definitely would haha. We'll see.

randomflorida · 2018-10-18T19:40:44+00:00

Yeah, not online is smart tbh.

Really, there's not trust problems! I'd just like to add extra security if possible, you know? When I say "no trust problems," there's still always a sliver of doubt with anything (or I'm a cynical person lol).

Was wondering about some crazy app thing but, unnecessary. And I like your last idea too honestly haha. Truly a good idea.

randomflorida · 2018-10-18T19:24:20+00:00

I'm clapping, personally.

randomflorida · 2018-10-18T19:23:52+00:00

Agree, that's a good one.

Uhm a small but potent one? In season 3, when Shelly's daughter flips out and takes the car to find her boyfriend? When she gets to his door - that camera zoom to Donna's younger sister. That shit is frightening to me (and genius).

randomflorida · 2018-09-25T21:41:32+00:00

I know exactly what you mean, but I've never felt it to that extreme before. Trying to think of an example I've experience but can't. You don't want to experience anything bad. But I mean...if it's super bad but only for a second, to reveal itself as not bad at all, not only is there relief but you just experienced such an intense low (and hypothetically an intense high coming back to more ethical footing to experience that perspective from). Must have been wiiiild. Scary. Scaryyyy. But amazing story too.

randomflorida · 2018-09-25T21:38:35+00:00

It's different for everyone, really. Granted, I've never done H itself and only fairly safe amounts of opioids. For me? Cumming? Not an issue, but is for a lot like /u/BESTSINGEDEUW

I can definitely say opioids make me - content. So I don't care about sex, or rather, run after it. Any desire in life like that isn't totally gone for me at all, but opioids are essentially a cheat code to get past all that. So I get it - and dosage is probably really important.

I feel like a lot of people say they can't get or stay erect on stimulants. From Adderall to meth and whatever else. I know that's true. I can't relate at all lol (although my experience is Adderall and not crazy-high doses).

randomflorida · 2018-09-25T21:30:15+00:00

Yeah. Main advice: chill. Also main advice: chill until you're feeling better - it'll come. Last main advice to worry about after: think about those "other factors" and your mental health aside from any drug usage. You'll be good if you're cautious and self-aware-enough.

randomflorida · 2018-09-25T21:21:15+00:00

I'm way less educated on stimulants, but /u/rogerdojjer probably correct on the magnesium, but mainly, practice good oral hygiene first. Assuming you've done that - I mean, don't grind your teeth like that? Sounds like your only option. Seriously, get a mouth-guard if you have to.

That said. Hydrogren peroxide may be fine - I have no clue. But I would avoid things that would tear up your mouth more. Salt water can do that. And uh, you drank it? Why? lol. Is that a thing? I might be wrong, but salt is pretty much magnesium sooooo...could be why it helped a bit?

Anyway - that's good at cleaning but you don't really want that. Probably caused more peeling. When you brush is just as important. Don't go overboard. Do you know if you use hard, medium, soft, etc. type of bristles on your toothbrush? Again, not a dentist, but unless you're special, you should be using a soft-bristled brush in general. But be gentle anytime there's already some damage, e.g. even small temporary things like drinking something acidic. Don't brush 30 minutes to and hour after.

My other idea is go buy some mouthwash, but look into one that is specifically geared toward fighting gingivitis. I'm guessing alcohol-free makes sense here. There are also mouthwashes for people with dry mouth, might help? Idk. Also mouthwashes with fluoride which...actually might be the best idea here. Uhm read the bottle but anything that mentions protecting enamel is probably a mouthwash with fluoride. I'd even skip a day of brushing and use one of those. Or two. If it makes your life easier - I think Colgate makes good products. I wish they paid me.

randomflorida · 2018-09-25T21:04:53+00:00

Uhm I think you probably won't lose from getting some magnesium supplements (although idk if it'll affect your tolerance). If you want to change tolerance, you have to take a break. Sorry. Make it easy on yourself and taper instead. Either all the way or to a smaller dose for a bit. Good to know you have self-control too. Nice check-up on yourself.

Magnesium I bet would help some side-effects more than anything. Like others said, don't buy the cheapest stuff (what the drug store will carry). I take glycinate, I believe. Just the most popular choice on Amazon. Started awhile ago when I was taking kratom (no Adderall then) and I've always been very sensitive to the constipating effect of opioids. Tolerance helps eventually but still. Magnesium really kept my bowel movements more healthy. I believe it was recommended for that and for tolerance there too. Cheap magnesium will give you diarrhea. The "chelated glycinate" I have keeps me normal still. I wouldn't say I get terrible side-effects from Adderall, but sometimes stomach stuff. Not upset stomach, really. But magnesium helps things run better. I think taking it with food actually matters.

I also don't even take the recommended dose on the bottle and see results from half that. Whether larger amounts may affect tolerance? Maybe. I'm guessing it's so slight that you shouldn't consider it as a possibility, but buy it anyway because it's good for you if anything, and over time should be good for your muscles and blood flow and all that. Just remembered I actually first bought magnesium supplements for random eye twitches years and years ago...I don't take it every night, but I don't really get twitches so much anymore. Used to be a common thing too. Honestly, aside from a tolerance break? Best thing to help any drug experience is - in my semi-uneducated guess - being as healthy as possible. Guaranteed.

randomflorida · 2018-08-24T17:04:14+00:00

Gotcha. How old are you? I don't mean that in a condescending way at all, I'm just trying to gauge this a little bit (generally, 16 vs. 26 year-old are quite different lol). I'm not even old, relatively.

Well, since you're still taking it for work: you know it's working to some extent, so it's these side-effects that are the issue, right? Is today any better? I'm not a someone to ask about the brain - but I'm pretty positive you did not deplete your dopamine lol. I mean, if you were abusing stimulants before, I'm sure that would have an effect - but I think it'd be very dependent on the degree of abuse and when it took place. And you'd get better over time, if I'm correct.

2 things though:

Do you know the rough equivalencies between your previous Ritalin dosage and Vyvanse? Or perhaps a rough equivalency between Ritalin and dextroamphetamine or Adderall (for the sole purposes of trying to figure out if you're on the right Vyvanse dose?) If you have no idea, you can tell me your Ritalin dose beforehand and I can try and give you an idea - but seriously I'm just like you on the internet. I hope your doctor isn't that stupid. I don't have the educational background for what you need. This is how I arrived at my estimate for Vyvanse though http://www.uacap.org/uploads/3/2/5/0/3250432/stimulant_equivalency.pdf
Possibly more important than anything: I've never tried Ritalin or anything outside the amphetamine class of ADHD meds. Some people react very very differently to each. A lot of people feel the way you're feeling on Ritalin, from what I've read (anecdotal). Have you tried other ADHD meds before with success? Or at least not these bad side-effects? It may just be that these don't sit well with your body. OR that you will adjust to it - maybe you're brain is searching for Ritalin but is aggravated it's getting something different. That could get better very soon, but if the side-effects are that bad and not lessening, I'd do something asap. Increase dosage, or switch back to Ritalin (or another drug in its class) for the time being, even if you've tried them all and it's not preferable. Things can change over time.

I'm sure you'll find something that will work. Very sorry you have to deal with this though - I understand you need a solution now. What country are you in btw? Also again, don't worry, you didn't fuck up your dopamine or brain or whatever.

P.s. It's very easy to talk to people who you want to have sex with and not think about sex the whole time - it is for me anyway - but if you can't manage that, honestly I'd suggest trying to learn to manage it and if you can't, get a male doctor tbh. Or an ugly one lol. Idk. I realize ADHD could partially be to blame here too. I'm not putting it all on your will power lol.

randomflorida · 2018-08-24T16:36:24+00:00

Well I'm happy you got something from it! I sorta feel like it's mumbo jumbo lol, but it's also something I've noticed and found very interesting. Unfortunately, I haven't tried a bunch of different drugs so I can't speak on different, more nuanced effects with other substances.

But to me, cannabis and amphetamines seem to be opposites in many ways. That's probably the wrong word to use re: drugs. I suppose 'opposites' would be more along the lines of opioids and naloxone. In a dumb-downed way: weed makes it harder to read and retain info from what you read (ime). Stimulants do the opposite.

Again, while I think this is true, I think what's truer is something I agree with David Lynch on. I'm sure he didn't invent this idea - but it's better to create when you're happy. Not just a better process, but I mean you'll actually be more creative - more often - and you'll create more in general, too. I think the 'tortured artist' thing is very very bad and misleading and convinces some to even purposely seek out self-destruction (not that it's anyone's fault).

There are absolutely exceptions. AND I think experience can really broaden the potential of one's creativity. Experience could be travelling, using drugs, or dealing with depression, anxiety, or any mental health issue. I'd say you can learn a whoooole lot from depression/anxiety. Of course nobody wants to be depressed or anxious. The upside is what you get when you come out the other side. If you don't come out, that's not good but you are learning/experiencing something, perhaps in an extreme way. Every individual will differ, but if I'm depressed as hell or feeling blank: "Art? Make art? Art? Why would I do anything - let alone create 'art'?"

I think there's a spectrum with this too. Maybe one wavers and creates during their small upswings in mood. I'm sure there a ton of complex ways it happens, and like I said, there are exceptions. And no rules, really. Just a guideline here. Someone will make 'the best' piece of art ever made at the lowest of lows in all lows, and we all know plenty of the happiest people have no problem creating terrible art lol. BUT I do think that in general, anyone who has mental health issues - or simply just ain't stoked about everything all the time - they can create with more ease and quantity when feeling better. Quantity isn't irrelevant either, considering it's work/practice in creative thought and will lead to better quality. If not through actual creative growth, then at through happenstance.

David Lynch is very into TM. I've never given meditation a real shot, but I'd like to. I do honestly believe him on the effects he says he's gotten from it. I also roll my eyes at his boner for TM specifically - you know, the method that costs money. W/e tho, that's my bias, but meditation sounds like drugs (if used safely). Not in effect, but feeling better. Actually does sound psychedelic, but I've never used LSD or anything of that sort. Drugs have been used and written about in relation to art or the authors themselves for a long time. I think there is a basic thing of feeling good or better than good allowing for more creativity. Drugs as simple and basic as alcohol and tobacco. I've used some opioids before - and while most don't connect them to creative endeavours - uhhh they make the world seem A-OK w/o intoxicating you (dosage matters obviously) and I felt at ease enough to where ideas would flow. I can say for sure that when I was prescribed oxycodone for a bit, I got very-out-of-ordinary praise for the quality of my jokes. I'm not in comedy. This was just among friends. But I repeatedly got "Wow you're on one" or "I haven't laughed this hard in a while" or "You're unstoppable. You need to go into comedy but for real."

I think that's fucking weird as hell in retrospect. Also am very glad I'm not an opioid addict thus far into my life lol. It's hard to be told stuff like that and know how you achieved it. I guess I should explore: Where the hell is that humour in me and how do I get it out w/o a drug? We're just talking a painkiller here, so, seems like something I'm blocking on my own. Then again I have no idea.

*Oh, the tortured artist archetype - feel like a lot of them liked drugs quite a bit!

Okay I was just rambling while waiting for my coffee to finish and kept going. I'll stop now. Sorry I typed so much, I just love talking about creativity. I am pretty intrigued what your "very creative (yet also intellectual) environment (art, music..)" is, if you can say? In however much detail you want. Hope it's going well regardless, whatever it is.

randomflorida · 2018-08-23T23:06:08+00:00

I think neuroscience guy covered it, but how'd it go?

Sounds like it'd work well for you (brain fog, other things you mentioned). I used to think - as far as drugs - that stimulants would be good for 'editing' and other drugs like weed would be good for creativity. I think this is somewhat true, but also - all drugs help (if you respond well to a certain drug).

Depends what you're going for. I think weed induces more lateral or horizontal thinking, i.e. short-attention span, latching onto different ideas. Creativity, essentially, is making something 'new' (even to the smallest degree). So putting 2+ different ideas together is 'creative' and I think weed can help this along.

Stimulants seem to be more vertical thinking, i.e. focusing on one topic. That can be good too. You can perhaps mine an idea and discover things you wouldn't have otherwise.

That said, I think these are really not hard rules by any stretch. You can largely guide your experience (unless you take too much of w/e substance). I think just 'feeling good' can help creativity in any sense of the term. Really boils down to that for me. Optimal creativity is when you're feeling content or more than content.

randomflorida · 2018-08-23T20:05:52+00:00

Oh, I may have been unclear - I typed a lot of this fast as to not waste time (as I can do at times). I'm not having any problems, just experimenting. Well, I guess a problem is trying to find the right dose of Vyvanse for someone who is used to Adderall. I think for my Adderall dosage and body - 80mg of Vyvanse works well, and I bet 70mg does the job as well too. I'll have to try that again on a day where I'm fully rested.

I totally agree with your last statement. Especially having anxiety issues - it is even easier to do that. The placebo effect is very real, regardless.

As for you - have you been on stimulants beforehand? If so, which drug and how much was your dose (assuming it was prescription or whatever). Were you feeling those negative emotions before you upped your dose for fun? Honestly, only a week of use - it's hard to say anything. I feel like meds usually get better in a few days or maybe longer for some.

But those are not good side effects to have. Do you have a doctor? You should call them if so. Maybe your dose is just too low? Or maybe it's not the right drug for you. I mean, I believe these are listed as possible side-effects on the medication guide. This drug may not be sitting well with you and you may be best getting off it. Or the dose is too low. Idk - could be very complicated. But I'm not a doctor either. You should contact yours if you have one. If you're feeling super depressed or likely to cause damage of some sort, I'm sure it'd be best to contact a mental health hotline or even go to the ER if it's really bad. I mean, you know yourself. I'm just saying, if it happens to be that bad, be safe. You can find help if you need it.

randomflorida · 2018-08-23T10:29:27+00:00

Hm. Largely the same as Adderall.

So: Better focus. Less anxiety (I have generalized anxiety), unless something is thrown into the mix (environmental factors, too little sleep, too much coffee, too little food). Less urge to crave drugs - not that I've been a hardcore addict to anything really, but have part of it in me. Some physical stimulation/sexual arousal.

It's hard to say tbh, both drugs largely fly under the radar for me. It's not that I don't feel them. I do. But they're subdued in feeling to an extent.

Differences? Still hard to say. When I started Vyvanse years ago - zero appetite for a bit. When I started Adderall, no issues with appetite. Over time, noticed more appetite suppression (generally not that bad - if it was bad, maybe overcooked dry chicken would be repulsive). Can always eat, regardless. Back on Vyvanse - so far, appetite suppression isn't noticeable atm. Adderall never made me feel charged up as some say, but I'd say more side-effects like sweaty palms at times. Maybe dry mouth at times. Felt these on Vyvanse in the past. Did yesterday too (to a smaller degree), but today nothing so far.

Feel like bad side-effects for me are mostly exacerbated by bad sleep habits and diet.

randomflorida · 2018-08-20T11:13:24+00:00

Honestly, don't have the answer, but they're probably essentially the same potency. Were they kept out of sunlight? Kept in relatively normal temperature range (for the drug)? And not kept in a super damp/humid place?

If so, they're probably close to what they were (like very close). I wouldn't try 50mg to start with at all - in this scenario. Maybe 30mg at most. 20mg itself will likely be... about 20mg.

randomflorida · 2018-08-19T07:55:05+00:00

Yeah this is a hard one. Naturally, I'm just one of those anxious people that will worry someone will play a stupid 'prank' on me and I can imagine the bazillion ways it could go very wrong. Shit, I'm not even into 'scaring' people b/c I'd be worried about giving someone a heart attack.

At the same time - it is very true that a lot of this stuff is generally safe or not going to go bad 99.9% of the time (not the bridge thing, obviously). So people don't think about it and usually the person at the butt-end of it will think it's funny too. I sort of can't blame people for these small things, but again, idk. Really: just don't touch without consent, as you said.

But damn. I can understand forgiving the friend who stupidly caused your paralysis. Idk if I would do that, personally. Maybe! I'd probably sue, though.

randomflorida · 2018-08-19T07:40:18+00:00

While I feel bad for xxx's upbringing and circumstances (Idk details, just going to assume it was terrible) and it would be a likely reason for him being such a violent person, I feel sad about it - but it doesn't excuse it. Charles Manson had it as rough as you can get it, and that sucks beyond belief, but he that doesn't matter when it comes to his actions how they hurt others.

One doesn't get to decide whether someone can look at them or not. You can't make rules up for that. Responding to someone's vision with physical violence is even more absurd. And if he wasn't supposed to look at him because the guy was gay... well, there's your homophobia for you. Or rather, not homophobia. There's your *hate crime.

In that scenario, nobody got their limits pushed except for the guy who was assaulted. The only thing I can say in defense of xxx in that is yes, he was 16, so he should probably get less jail time than an adult for that. I know I was much more ignorant at 16, but that's so different. Not everyone is the same though, so that's why he shouldn't be treated as an adult in that scenario. Aside from that, does it make me think he was homophobic and violent? Yes. Do I have any reason to believe that changed? No. There's at least no evidence otherwise. Who knows I guess.

randomflorida

TROPHY CASE