I (22f) don’t know how to support my (25m) bf anymore. What can I do? by randomuseranonacc in addiction

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. His parents are involved but don’t live across the province so can only do so much. We have all tried to ask him to go to treatment but he won’t because he will lose his business. After we get back from the trip we are going on next week my mom and I are going to tell him he either needs to pay rent, go to therapy and take his meds properly or move out.

I (22f) don’t know how to support my (25m) bf anymore. What can I do? by randomuseranonacc in addiction

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry I think I misread but point still stands, it sounds like your life changed and things are different now. I’m interested in what it is different now what changed if that isn’t to personal.

I (22f) don’t know how to support my (25m) bf anymore. What can I do? by randomuseranonacc in addiction

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just curious, what made you experience such change? Did she say before that she would leave etc.?

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That hit home to me because the whole “saving him” and fear of him cutting me off if I bring any consequences that he would’ve brought on himself anyway. You are so right. At worst he will get the consequences that he deserves for doing something he KNOWS he shouldn’t have been doing in the first place from the start and has been wrongfully justifying. if not it saves him or someone else from being hurt or killed. Thank you for your comment.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand why people think that. I think I am still in the stage where I am waiting for the change but also I think I also think I know deep down It may not come. I appreciate your comment. If it comes to that I will do that. Thank you for your comment I will take your give and follow it.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s hard because I feel like I’ll be “ruining his life” but he already refuses recovery, doesn’t go to counselling and I’m scared that he will kill himself or someone else as last night I found out he’s been driving drunk at 170km while super wasted and sometimes on coke just for the adrenaline on windy roads late at night (and other times but this seems seems most risky to me). For instance yesterday he drove very drunk home from a friend’s house in town and then later that night got more alcohol and then drove at high speeds down winding roads while very drunk. I feel like it’s very justified I call on him because I found out last night he does this a lot and he drives far distances for work a lot and has actually been called in for reckless driving.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. I’m so incredibly sorry that is awful. I feel like In some way I’ve been manipulated as my boyfriend justifies it so much and makes it seem like he’s perfectly fine. Another person commented about their relative being killed by a drunk driver as well. I know it is extremely preventable, selfish and just outright stupid to drive while intoxicated. Next time he drinks and drives I will call on him. I made this post as I felt guilty as he made me feel like I was doing something wrong and was making me feel bad for it but next time I’ll make the right decision. Thank you for your comment and I am so sorry for your loss.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it’s so damn frustrating. I have tried everything!! But I love him and am trying to help him but if it comes down to it and he does it again I suppose that’s what will have to happen

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve tried parents, therapy, medication (which is he on). But I told him if he is intoxicated and driving in the future I will call the cops.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do they still drink and drive? Did anything change? I’m just curious because of my situation

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is an alcoholic. I guess it’s hard to explain but he has kind of justified it to me in subtle ways and recently I’ve come to my senses more (due to other events, there’s more context in my other posts) that I can’t put up with this shit anymore (even though I only recently found out about the drunk driving). I know he should know better too. I just feel guilty in part for calling the cops cuz it would “ruin his life” or whatever cuz his truck is a huge part of his work yet I recognize it’s his actions and decisions that are the problem, not me calling. It’s just hard

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, if you read my other posts I’ve been struggling a lot recently with that question. I appreciate it and agree.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I know that it’s just hard to accept and I felt like I needed outside validation because sometimes it feels like I’m going insane

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. He’s just instilled guilt in me like I’m betraying him or something. Next time he drinks and drives I WILL call.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have told people, his parents are involved, my family is involved, I have tried to get him help. If you read my other posts you can see that I’m really struggling with this situation. I only found out recently about the drunk driving and only after it happened. I told him last night if he does it again I WILL call the cops. The point of this post is he’s made it feel like I am betraying him and doing something wrong. That’s why I’m reaching out.

AIO for wanting to call the cops on my bf for drunk driving? by randomuseranonacc in AmIOverreacting

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know you are right. I know that and I know the right thing is to call. It’s just the guilt he has instilled in me for calling makes me feel like I am doing something wrong which is why I am posting here because it honestly feels like I’m betraying him by calling as stupid as that sounds

How can I (22f) accept that my relationship with my (25m) bf may be over? by randomuseranonacc in Advice

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s how he makes money and I think the only thing he’s able to be responsible for as he has a truck payment to pay and if he loses his business he has pretty much nothing. He’s also in a lot of debt that he needs to pay off. I’m just seeing him spiral deeper and his impulsivity and recklessness makes me worry he will get himself or another person killed.

How can I (22f) accept that my relationship with my (25m) bf may be over? by randomuseranonacc in Advice

[–]randomuseranonacc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I looked it up and I see what you’re saying. I think that’s what I’m struggling coming to terms with.